Maybe they cheated on you. Maybe they lied. Maybe they didn’t follow-through on a really important promise.
The temptation when that happens is to allow the experience to carry over to the next dating encounter we have. That’s never a good thing.
The disappointment you feel when someone you’re interested in lets you down can be profound. Even if it’s a small thing, that kind of pain lingers.
And when it’s something big, like a full-on cheating situation, it can leave you bitter and angry with the opposite sex for months or even years.
A well-known quote comes to mind: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
Of course, you’re no fool. You’re smart enough to avoid repeating the same mistake. If one of your mistakes was trusting someone who wasn’t worthy of your trust, you’re savvy enough to learn from it.
And really, that’s smart, provided you remember did you wrong.
In other words, don’t make your new man pay for the mistakes of the other guy.
The moment you decide that all men are guilty until proven innocent, you start to push away subtly the kind of man who really is trust worthy. The suspicion and lack of trust you bring to future dating relationships will hurt those relationships before they even get started.
While it certainly isn’t fair that you’ve been lied to or cheated on, it’s no more fair to treat the innocent like they’re guilty.
Yes, it’s tough to go out on a limb and trust someone after you’ve been burned. It feels vulnerable and uncomfortable. But dragging your baggage from a previous relationship into the next one doesn’t help you at all. In fact, it will almost always hurt you.
When someone lets you down, take the time to assess what went wrong. Learn what you can from it, but then make a conscious decision to look for the best in people again. Doing so will not prevent you from noticing red flags.
Deal with the very real pain and disappointment you feel, and then make a conscious decision to not pay it forward.
Don’t punish the next person for the mistakes of the last one. It’s a very common mistake that can make a perfectly lovely woman less attractive to the right man when you finally meet him.
Always on your side,