A lot of people roll into the holiday season thinking the festivities will give them unique insight into the status of their relationship. That makes sense, especially if the relationship is new.
There are several potential indicators. Like whether he invites you to be his date for an office holiday party or a New Year’s Eve celebration. Or whether or not he gives you a gift (and what it is). Or how he reacts to your gift.
The temptation is to approach each of these like a litmus test. In fact, earlier this month there was an article in Glamour[i] encouraging readers to do just that! I cringed when I read it because that’s horrible advice.
Holiday events shouldn’t be used as gauges for your relationship’s health. I can give you two reasons why.
The first is that you’re basically trying to play mind-reader. If he invites you to his office holiday party, for example, but doesn’t introduce you as his girlfriend, he’s not necessarily trying to tell you something.
He could be the kind of person who likes to keep his professional relationships and personal life separate. Or he might feel it’s wrong to use that label before the two of you have discussed it. There’s a slew of reasons why he might choose his words carefully, and most of them have nothing to do with his feelings about you.
So what happens if you assume his actions reveal his secret feelings about you? You create problems. All kinds of miscommunication and unnecessary hurt feelings.
And that’s because It’s incredibly easy to misjudge another person’s intent.
Your best course of action here is to put down the crystal ball. Turn your attention to something else. Something more important. Try just to enjoy what’s going on as it’s happening.
Which brings me to the second problem with going on a hunt for hidden meaning. When you enter any situation trying to read between the lines, you can easily miss out on the most important thing. Namely, the situation itself.
Think of all the ways the holiday season can be romantic. There’s a sense of magic in the air. It’s special, which is why so many look forward to it. But few things kill that special feeling as fast as a raw analytical mindset.
What’s more, if you’re on the prowl for hidden meaning in his every move, you’re likely to miss some powerful relationship-building opportunities.
Rather than obsessing over what his gift means or why he chose one venue over another for New Year’s Eve, immerse yourself in each moment as it comes.
Savor the time you have with him. Be open to unexpected surprises. Try not to fret about what every little thing symbolizes. Basically, make a decision to enjoy the relationship one moment at a time.
P.S. – Also, don’t forget to vote for the free report you would like to receive as my gift to you. You can vote here.