Do you consider yourself a lucky person?
That may sound like a silly question. Right about now I’m supposed to share some kind of useful relationship-building tip. Instead, I’m asking if you think you’re lucky.
Well, buckle up. Here comes that hard-hitting truth you ordered. Two of them, in fact.
First, luck is a real thing. It may not be what you think it is, but it IS real.
Second, seeing yourself as lucky will have measurable positive effects on your life. Conversely, seeing yourself as unlucky will hold you back.
Research psychologist Richard Wiseman did a fascinating experiment a few years ago.[i] He started by finding two groups of people. Some who saw themselves as lucky, and some who believed they were unlucky.
He gave each group the same newspaper and the same instructions. All they had to do was tell him how many pictures were in the paper.
The unlucky people averaged a couple of minutes to complete the task. The lucky people, mere seconds.
Here’s why.
On the second page of the newspaper was a huge message that said, “Stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.” The lucky people saw it while the unlucky completely missed it.
Based on that experiment and others, Wiseman concluded that luck is primarily a matter of perspective.
Lucky people are OPEN to chance opportunities. They EXPECT good things to happen. As a result, they tend to catch things that unlucky people don’t.
If you apply that simple truth to dating, it can have a tremendous impact. Let me show you how…
IF YOU’RE SINGLE
As Wiseman pointed out, “Unlucky people miss chance opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends.”
It’s easy to become too focused on romance when you’re single and looking.
If you do that, you’ll miss all kinds of other things in life…including friendships that could easily develop into romance.
Instead of fixating on your single status, focus on having fun and experiencing life.
You’ll find a lot more joy in virtually everything you do, and you’ll be more likely to find someone who shares a real zest for adventure.
IF YOU’RE DATING
Once you find a guy, it’s still important to think like a lucky person.
Relationships are full of challenges. To minimize the lows and maximize the highs, hold on tight to that open sense of positive expectation.
Let’s say the spark has fizzled a bit. That’s okay. It happens.
But instead of accepting that as an inevitability, keep your eyes open for opportunities to seize life with him. Plan date nights that are outlandish and fun. Even silly. Break out of the rut by shaking things up.
As you do, remain open to the possibility that something really amazing could happen at any moment. The next time you see him could be one of those nights you’ll tell your grandkids about.
But only if you’re open to it.
The real difference between people who are lucky and people who aren’t is attitude. That’s true regardless of your current relationship status.
Be open, and be optimistic.
If you believe great things can happen in your love life, you’re far more likely to live out a fairy tale romance.
[i] Wiseman, Richard. “Be Lucky – It’s an Easy Skill to Learn.” The Telegraph. Telegraph Media Group, 09 Jan. 2003. Web. 30 June 2016.
Hello i fall inlove with man.. Just a month he
Ask me to send him my nude pictures. Is he really inlove with me or he just wanted my nude body picture??Help me please. Should i stop communicating on hm? What should i do?
Hi Jumora. Don’t send him any picture you would not send to a newspaper or public Facebook feed. If his desire to be with you is based on how you look naked, then it will be a blessing if he gets mad at your refusal and stops contacting you. That kind of intimacy is only for a long-term relationship where you have developed a lot of trust over time. He might be collecting nude pictures to sell to porn sites. Or he might get mad after a breadkup and use it to shame you (out of anger). Don’t send nude pictures to people you barely know.
James
Hi
I been dating a guy who is a very hard worker.
An our situation is different he lives out of town and works long hours.
He has been married before for 16yr no children.
I have 2 they both are older one is out of school and the other graduates this year.
We have been talking for over a yr an met in person April of this year.
We hit it off an have been seeing each other till 7 weeks ago he went to working longer hours an more days.
That’s when he sort shutdown.
I have tried to be understanding.
It’s hard because I miss not talking.
His work is moving him to a new location.
I am scared.
I have been single for many years.
Raising my kids.
I finally meet someone who I feel I am in love with.
An he tells me he loves me.
It’s just he has pulled back.
An is short with me.
It’s hard being so far apart but at the same time I can’t imagine us not being together.
I get mixed signals from him at times.
From different questions he’s asked me?
I can’t figure him out?
An I want is to get though the next few months.
An Hope that we can be together.
Is that wrong for me to finally in my life want to be happy?
Have any suggestions?
Hi! This is a very in-depth question, perfect for the private forum available in the new members area.
U have a question, I was involved with a man for 4 months, then he stoped everything, no texting, no calls, nothing, it’s been 6 years, and I hear from him!!!!! He texted me, and said he heard a song and he thought about me, like what ?? Why ?? 6 years ?? He didn’t have 2 text me and tell me that, so what do u think that was really all about ? Plz help me this has been driving me crazy……
Joanne,
If you have an interest in this man, why not keep the conversation going? He may be checking to see if you’ll give him another chance. Just don’t pour your heart into this all at once. Explore what this is slowly…in discovery mode.