I’m going to reveal my number one source for dating insights.
Okay, it’s not really classified. It’s just a place a lot of people don’t think to look.
But when I really need to know why one of my clients has been struggling with relationships, this is where I turn.
My source? Her friends.
Think about it. Your friends have a front row seat to your social life. They watch you flirt. They know what kind of guys you go after. They even see how you react when a guy approaches you. They know you—every mannerism, personality trait and all your quirks.
If you’re not getting dates, they know why. The question is, do you really want them to tell you?
Think about that carefully before you jump in.
If you decide to go for it, there are two keys to getting info that actually helps.
The first is asking the right people. Some of your friends won’t want to give you critical feedback. Afraid of hurting your feelings, they’ll only tell you what they think you want to hear. That’s nice and all, but it doesn’t really benefit you.
On the other hand, you may have friends who would be a little too eager to tell you what you’re doing wrong. Ask one of them, and they’ll heap negative comments on you. Best case scenario, you’ll walk away feeling trashed. Worst case, it’ll start a fight.
While all your friends have inside information about you, make sure you only ask one or two who will give you honest feedback with the sole goal of helping you.
Getting the kind of answer that makes a difference in your relationships also depends on a second thing. Asking the right question. I suggest you keep it simple. Instead of giving them free reign to tell you anything, be specific. Ask for just the top two bits of feedback they think will be the most helpful to you.
And when they give you feedback, whatever you do, don’t ask for examples.
Here’s why. Even when we’ve asked for them, examples make us feel embarrassed. The natural response is to get defensive and try to explain away the behavior. In our own heads, we always have good reasons for doing the things we do even when the results are disastrous. Your friends have the advantage of an outside perspective. They’ll be able to see patterns you would explain away. That’s the information you want.
If you’re having a hard time getting dates or holding on to relationships, look to your friends for vital clues. They know you better than anyone else. In some ways, better than you know yourself.
Just be sure to exercise a fair amount of caution. Like dynamite, this technique is powerful, but it can blow up in your face if you’re not careful!
There is one pattern your friends can’t help you with. It’s something even your guy friends would not be able to explain either. It’s the one thing guys secretly want, but they could never tell you. To see why they can’t tell you the thing they want most, click here.