Should you look for a better relationship when things are “just okay” in your current relationship?
Women who are currently in a satisfying relationship can still point out a few flaws in their partner. Some of those flaws may have worried them when they were contemplating a commitment.
Other women can tell you about a guy they wish they had never pulled away from. How do you know whether you are going to regret the decision later to pour your heart, life, and time into a man?
Naturally, there are several different ways you can try to make a decision about a man. But there’s one method in particular that I really like. The method I’m talking about is superior, in my opinion, because it gets right to the heart of the matter.
Here’s the method I suggest to see if you are settling for the wrong man.
Ask yourself if you are happier because of this man’s presence in your life right now.
Then switch that question around.
Ask yourself if you would feel a sense of relief if he broke off the relationship with you tomorrow.
Here’s why these two important questions matter more than all the guesswork you could do about the future. Trying to decide if you are settling is really the wrong question. I say it’s the wrong question because it requires that you do the impossible. It requires you to compare the man you are with to some imaginary man you might meet in the future.
Imaginary people can have any qualities you want. In real life, all people have flaws. Yes, some people are better suited to a relationship with you, and some people really can make you happier. Nonetheless, that does not change the fact that it is impossible to know whether you will one day meet someone who makes you even happier than the guy you are with. Since it is impossible to know the answer to the question, it’s not a useful question to ask. It’s better to focus on what is happening now.
Let’s get back to those two questions that help you decide whether you are settling for the wrong man.
First, are you happier because this man is in your life right now? If so, I would venture to bet you are not settling. If his presence in your life adds meaning and joy, you should embrace him whole-heartedly and turn down the dial on your worry a couple notches.
Now to the second question.
Would it be a relief if he called you tomorrow to break off the relationship or ask for some time apart to date other people? I realize you would most likely have mixed emotions, but if one of those emotions in the mix was a significant sense of relief, there’s a good chance you are settling. If a breakup would only yield feelings of loss, and no sense of relief, you most certainly are not settling. He is a man you want in your life.
The sense of relief is significant because it represents the conclusion of your intuitive mind. Your intuition is really your unconscious process of filtering through tons and tons of information. We don’t receive the results of that analysis in the form of a conscious thought like, “Yes, he is the right one for me.” Rather, you get the results of intuition when you ask questions that cause your mind to pay attention to certain emotions that speak on behalf of the unconscious conclusions some part of your mind has reached.
A feeling of relief would mean some part of you has come to the conclusion that you really do need to spend time dating other people before you will know if this man you are with is really the right sort of man for you. If the idea of a breakup causes nothing but sadness, that means it was a useless worry getting the best of you rather than guidance from your intuition.
I hope this helps! Most people have only seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the power of intuition. If you would like to learn more about intuition and how to put it to work in your relationships, check out my video on the power of intuition by clicking this link.