- You want a man who is willing to spend Saturday afternoon binge-watching your favorite TV show.
- Someone who will really listen as you tell him boring stories from your day or vent about petty annoyances.
- Someone you don’t have to dress up for. But who offers genuine compliments when you do.
- You want a guy who puts you at ease. Who you can laugh with. Who understands your particular brand of crazy.
It can seem like this guy simply doesn’t exist. But for many women, he’s actually already in their lives.
I’m talking about that male friend who has fallen off your romantic radar. Or maybe was never on your romantic radar in the first place.
We tend to discount people who we’ve placed in “friend zone.” But we shouldn’t. Because the real foundation of a lasting relationship isn’t physical attraction.
What makes relationships work long-term, according to both anecdotal evidence and relationship studies, is friendship.
If you already have that foundation in place, so much the better.
So what’s stopped you from considering this guy in the past? Let me guess…
“But I don’t think of him that way.”
“If he liked me, he would have already made a move.”
“I don’t want to make things weird between us.”
Let me answer these fears one at a time.
- “But I don’t think of him that way.”That doesn’t mean you can’t. Do a test run. Try thinking of him in “that way” for two weeks. You might be surprised what happens.
- “If he liked me, he would have already made a move.”You don’t know that. Maybe he’s secretly pining for you but afraid to go for it.
- “I don’t want to make things weird between us.”Fair enough. If you try a relationship and it fails, things will likely always be different. But “different” doesn’t necessarily mean bad. That is, as long as you guys talk about it openly.
And if it does work out, you could have something extraordinary instead.
So I’m going to help you determine whether or not it’s worth taking this leap.
First, I’ll share signs that can tell you if he’s interested. Then I’ll show you a simple technique that can help take him out of your own mental “friend zone.”
You need to discover if there’s romantic interest – from both of you.
Let’s deal with him first. Here are some signs he might be interested in something more.
He’s your go-to dog-sitter.
It matters because it shows he’s willing to make your needs a priority. Sure, friends can do this, too. But it’s definitely a positive sign.
He’s there for you when you’re sick.
Your couch is covered in tissues. You’re in sweats. You feel awful. And when your doorbell rings, you know it’s him with something you needed from the drug store. He’s ready to marathon The Walking Dead with you instead of enjoying the Halloween party you’ve both been excited about for weeks.
He’s getting more physical over time.
You used to high-five. Now it’s hugs…that linger. And lately you’ve noticed him touching the small of your back and sneaking glances.
He notices when you dress up.
He’s cool babysitting you when you’re sick and you look like a shapeless sack of misery. But he’s also quick to tell you how great you look in your new jeans. Or comment that you should wear that dress when you come to his sister’s wedding in the spring.
Obviously, none of these things prove he’s interested. They’re signs. Indicators. But the more of them you notice, the more likely it is he’s up for more. There’s only one way to know for sure.
Give yourself permission to think of him “that way.”
It may just change your perception. And if it does, it may be worth trying to pursue something.