how to control your mind

Some people have all the luck. And they’re the ones who never depend on it. ~ Bob Ingham

There are several radical ideas that changed my life instantly when I discovered them. One of them was the concept that “thoughts are things.”

Some days are full of anxious emotions like worry and fear, while other days are full of emotions of joy, hope, and satisfaction. It took me a long time to realize how much influence my own thoughts have on those emotions.

It’s only natural to assume our circumstances generate our emotions. It feels as if the things happening to us create good or bad feelings.

And to a large extent, life events do affect our emotions. But the way they influence our emotions is through the beliefs and perspectives we hold.

The cliché phrase, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” changed my life, but not until I realized that thoughts are things. When I made that cliché phrase my own, and began using it to transform my experience of difficult situations, it caused me to become a more powerful person.

I mean that in the literal sense.

I don’t mean it in some kind of metaphorical or poetic way. I literally became more powerful as a human being when I adopted that transformative concept and decided to use it whenever life seemed to be trying to kick my teeth out.

That particular mental reframe helped me because I have a particular vulnerability to worry. Worry is my arch enemy. It tries to stop me from living fully and freely. It tries to stop me from pursuing my dreams. And worst of all, it tries to stop me from enjoying the fruits of my labor anytime I actually do succeed.

I can hear the worry in the background, chanting things like, “Hold on to what you have. Don’t take any risks. You don’t know what it is yet, but something really bad is about to happen so you better not get too comfortable.”

Those thoughts dominated too much of my life.

I’m living under a new paradigm now. The new paradigm says…

“I cannot control life, but I can control who I become. I choose to become a person who tries really hard. I choose to be a person who celebrates trying hard… trying hard to do what is right and to pursue the things I love in this life.

If I fail, I will fail magnificently while triumphantly looking fear in the eyes and saying, ‘You have only made me stronger.’”

You see, the most powerful single thought that ever changed my life was this: “I am a creator.” I may be a weak creator, with limited power, but I am a creator nonetheless.

With each thought I purposefully direct in my mind, I create a significant part of the reality of what it means to be me, what it’s like to live my life.

And so, I create. I create as much hope, belief, and motivation as I can with each thought I managed to take captive and bend to my will as a creator.

From that foundation of thought I strive to participate in “the real world” as a man who is willing to face hardship in pursuit of the things and people I love.

Do you see how this leaves luck out of it? By embracing my role as a creator, I stop waiting around. I stop hoping and start doing.

This is a message I have shared with many of my clients who consult me for advice about dating and relationships. Why? Because many of them fear change.

Even if you want something very badly, the fear of change can hold you back.

Being a creator is better than being lucky. Because creators don’t need to wait around, hoping luck will knock on their door.

As the saying goes, “Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.” Well, I have some preparation to suggest for you today.

how to control your mindPrepare for romantic success by choosing to become a master of your own mind. Think of your mind as your garden, which you will prune and cultivate into a creation of health and beauty.

Then, when Mr. Right stumbles into your garden, you will be ready for the opportunity. It won’t be an opportunity to impress him. Rather, it will be an opportunity to practice the art of striving for something beautiful. Without worry or fear holding you back.

That is a life worth living, no matter what happens next.

Always on your side,


P.S. To take your preparation to the next level, consider investing in your knowledge of the strategies that others have found useful in dating and relationships with men. See my catalog of training materials here. Fast forward your success. Build the skills to be irresistible.

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