Every day I see women who are smart, attractive, warm, engaging, ready and eager to find love…
Except that they can’t meet anyone.
Their dating life is a desert.
They feel like they’re doing the work. They’ve put up online dating profiles. They invest good money in manicures and salon appointments and teeth whitening and gyms.
And yet they’re still single…
Without a single man in sight.
Why? What’s going on?
Do you know?
The #1 Mistake Women Make
These women are making a mistake that I see all the time…
And it’s not their fault.
They have received misleading messages about what attracts men.
They’ve been taught that what matters most is their appearance.
Their job is to do their makeup and do their hair and dress well…
And it’s a man’s job to spot them and say, “Oh, she looks nice! I want to get to know her.”
When that doesn’t happen, these wonderful women assume the problem lies in the way they look. They tell me that men don’t like brunettes, or men prefer younger women, or you can’t get a date unless you look like a model.
NONE of that is true.
Appearance is an easy excuse.
To find out what’s really going on, we need to turn to some fascinating research from dance clubs.
And science reveals that there’s one invisible factor that separates the women with tons of attention from the women with none…
The Signals You’re Sending
Psychologist Monica Moore from Webster University tells Time magazine that the women who get approached the most are not the conventionally attractive ones.
They’re the women who signal availability through catching a man’s eye and smiling.
Biologist Timothy Perper spent hundreds of hours in singles clubs documenting the dance of attraction. He discovered that women initiate contact two-thirds of the time.
They do so through eye contact.
A woman sneaks glances at a man she finds attractive until he notices her. She holds eye contact for a few beats then quickly looks away, only to glance back again to see if he’s still watching her.
That’s often enough to send a clear invitation that she’d like him to approach her.
Your most powerful attraction tools are your eyes and your lips:
The courage it takes to hold his gaze…
And the curve of your lips that communicates approval of what you’re seeing.
Why These Signals Scare Us
Why don’t more women use these tools?
Why do so many women prefer to sit back and wait for a man to notice them instead?
The simple answer is fear of rejection.
Many women are afraid of flirting too obviously.
They worry that, if they make their interest known, it will put a man off.
If he doesn’t reciprocate their interest, they’ll feel like they’ve just made a fool of themselves.
That fear of flirting does more to keep women single than anything else.
Many women flirt so tentatively that no one around them can even see that they’re flirting.
And that’s a problem, because men are notoriously poor at reading social signals.
She feels that she’s made her interest known quite clearly, but he has no clue she’s even interested.
When flirting with men, you have to ramp up those social cues.
2 Powerful Ways to Show Him You’re Interested and Available
Once you feel comfortable making eye contact and smiling at attractive men, it’s time to take your skills to the next level.
Eye contact and smiling aren’t always enough to demonstrate availability.
A man may perceive those signals as polite friendliness if you’re at work or at a shop or in the gym. He doesn’t want to make a mistake by assuming sexual interest when the context is purely professional.
But if you suggest going for a coffee together, or if you suggest having a quick drink after work, you’re sending a clear signal that you’re open to more.
Another way to unequivocally signal interest is through touch.
Touching a man on his arm, even if it’s just a quick tap to get his attention, changes the energy instantly.
Even if he’s never thought of you in that way before, he’ll start paying attention to your chemistry.
But don’t wait for him to make the first move.
It’s up to you.
He may never notice you unless you send clear signals of availability. Men want to know it’s a sure thing before they approach a woman. Your smile and steady gaze give him the green light.