James Bauer’s Texting Tip of the Week
“What’s the _______ thing that happened to you today?”
This texting template is both specific (to today) and flexible (that blank could be anything).
Examples:
“What’s the best thing that happened to you today?”
“What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today?”
“What’s the most frustrating thing that happened to you today?”
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You can still ask both: how was it today and what made it different or funny or frustrating or good or bad
James, I feel that new question feels stiff. Can you give us more examples? My man walks in and I say great him with a hug and kiss them say ” Hi honey, what was the best thing that happened today?” Or worst, or funniest. etc but I imagine being stared at with a incredulous stares. Help me understand tha!
If I was hit with that type of question before I e or after a glass of wine, rest, or time together, I would want to know what counselor, shrink, guy on TV, article in a magazine suggested him to ask that? I would feel odd about that, not open.
I love to try your ideas of they fit but I can not wrap myself head around this.
Hi Patty. I resonate with James’ insight. I raised 4 boys and I learned early on to do this with them!
Timing and delivery is utmost importance. That is exactly why this feels unnatural. But isn’t ‘how was your day?’ delivered at the door the same? It sounds rote. It’s like passing a stranger and saying ‘how are you?’ I don’t intend to stop and wait for an answer. It has become a greeting overused daily.
I’d suggest that kiss and saying ‘I’m so glad ‘you’re home’ at the door. Do you sense the difference? Later after it feels right, ‘anything fun happen today or anything similar, including how was your day, will more likely be answered in a way that makes you apart of his entire day.
Thanks. My issue is I do try to wait for a proper time to ask or say anything but Jame’s statement did not feel very open. I can try that but I thought this was to be an opening greeting. My husband is Bi Polar so asking anything is often considered prying. I guess I keep trying to ” take his temperature” when he comes home. I usually try to give him some time to rest a bit but I have to be very careful about how I ask anything or get shut out for the rest of the night.
Awesome response and advise! I’m going to do exactly what you and James described ! Thank you both! These tips are very helpful and delightful!
Hi Patty! I think the idea is that when you ask a man, “How was your day,” you will most likely get a one-word answer. He will most likely say, “Good.” However, when you ask, “What was the best part of your day” for example, he’s forced to think about it and therefore, give a more detailed answer. I believe that opens up a better conversation.