James Bauer’s Texting Tip of the Week
“What if __________?”
What if I could teach you a method to influence someone’s thoughts easily and automatically?
Do you think that would be a useful skill?
The fact is, as soon as I asked that question, I began to influence your mind. Because you considered the possibility.
You envisioned having that skill. I caused you to ask, “what if?”
Ask “what if” about scenarios you want to plant in his mind.
For example, “What if we get caught skinny dipping this weekend? I better bring a swimsuit.”
Warning:
Don’t use this example if you don’t want him to picture you naked! But do notice the subtle way it does that by asking “what if.”
Another example, “What if we skip the meeting and go for coffee?”
Or “What if I bring a swimsuit over tonight?”
Want him to treat you as his top priority? Try this quick tip once a day. (sponsored)
Ladies. Caution: Never make a man your priority when to him you are only an option!
What should a woman do when dating a man for 2 years that is age 65, and he is still has not committed to the relationship?
Hi, Joan. I hope the following thoughts won’t seem to miss the point of what you’re really asking, but in case it helps you think this through…
Which kind of commitment are you looking for? Do you mean an exclusive relationship rather than an open one? Or do you mean committing your long-term futures to be together? Or something else?
Does he know which type of commitment you want?
Have you asked him for what you want in clear, straight-forward language while reminding him of the benefits you would both experience?
Does he say he wants that too, just not right now? Or does he say never going to be something he wants in this phase of his life?
Does he make you truly happy other than this one issue?
I’m with a man much older than myself. He and I have the most passionate relationship together but he chose to end it when I began asking questions about the many women texting his phone which he said were from other apps prior to me. He also has a woman friend he’d speak to monthly in private from his hometown. This woman he said he’d never get rid of but has not had feelings for her. We’ve lived together while I’m trying to establish my own place and we’ve still be so close together and love each other. Yet he has contact with other women and states he doesn’t have to answer me on what he’s doing etc. It’s very odd terms. The end of our relationship didn’t seem justified. He moved to another state but came back here to help the move out transition and acts totally in love then will switch it all off in an instant. Will even use behavior of my kids as reason to leave. I wouldn’t still be hanging on to the thought of us if we didn’t have such amazing connection, passion, fun, laughter. It makes no sense to me. He’s been very hard and cruel to me in some of the ways he speaks when he turns off his feelings. Which I feel help him to run away. Is this something I should try and pursue? I was married for 15 yrs to a man with no care or desire for me. Finally get what I desire and I’m dropped. We could have an amazing life if not for his resistance to answering questions or resolving a conflict months ago. He went to visit family, visited this woman friend I had never met, but stated he wouldn’t tell me what they did. I had to trust him. I kept my mouth shut after that and only asked slight questions. I kept that in my mind all that time and it really was disturbing that he wouldn’t give me some relief on that issue. He seems to not know what he wants. Was married and in legalistic church for many years. I feel he’s going hog wild and I’ve given him more freedom than he ever had and even to the point of being uncomfortable and trying to grow myself in my insecurity. If he’d just stop walking on me, let his guard down, resolve the issue, get rid of the extra women texting apps and so on… we had the most perfect relationship. Exciting, adventure, goals, dreams, passion, love. He’s very disciplined and can even turn me down in affectionate times when trying to distance even though he’s a passionate me. Should I pursue trying any of your advice on him?
To add to my question… he also moved to his home state with the woman friend that created the initial problem. Also brought her here and slept in our apartment to help him move his things while I was away and asked him not to bring her. He made her an issue… and turned it on me. In my mind you never take another man or woman to your place of living with someone else against their desires. I told him when he talks to her…she’s not welcome in my life… and I believe she’s a flying monkey. He’s used words like… I’m in love with you but it won’t work. You’re so awesome, beautiful, it won’t work. At this point in our lives…etc.
I hear you. Same problem
What do you send to a guy that you had been dating for 4 months and in the last month stop calling, answering text messages and is completely avoiding you If you want to get him back and have a long lasting loving relationship with him?
When I send a text to his phone number, my phone displays ‘delivered’ but none of the recommended texts have elicited any response! So I don’t know if he is getting my texts or has figured-out a way around receiving them OR WHAT !!!!
I felt he was cheating because of his weak arguments but 4 years later I went in his phone and found the evidence and he was still dealing with this girl. Now I’m the dirty person, the disrespected person, the ugly person that he just hates and use me for his convenience.
You should kiss this jerk goodbye!!! You are better off without him. You, are not an ugly person, you have more self respect for yourself than he has in his little pinky. So, walk away like the beautiful person you are!!!