If you were dating a guy, and he NEVER complimented you on how you looked…
You’d think something was wrong!
How hard is it to say, “You look nice”?
A compliment lets you know he’s attracted to you. It shows he’s paying attention.
When you turn on the radio and hear a song by a male artist about how beautiful he finds the woman he loves, it makes you feel good.
Love means seeing the beauty in another person.
But the next time you listen to the radio, try this:
See if you can spot a female artist singing about how gorgeous she finds the man she loves.
Those songs are out there…
They’re just a LOT harder to spot.
Men don’t get as many compliments as women.
Which is why complimenting him has outsized impact on how good he feels.
Why Don’t Men Get Complimented?
Researchers have studied the reasons women get complimented more than men.
One study found that men gave twice as many compliments to women than women gave to men.
Another study found that, of all the compliments it tracked, women received 75% of the compliments while men only received 25%.
(The same study found that men hardly ever give each other compliments, counting for just 9% of compliments exchanged.)
There are good reasons for this.
Although women tend to give a lot of compliments in general, they direct many of those compliments to other women.
Women feel more comfortable complimenting other women, because they know other women will take their compliment for what it’s worth.
They also know that women put a lot of care into their appearance and appreciate it when someone notices!
However, if a woman compliments a man on his appearance, she runs the risk of him interpreting the compliment as a sign of romantic interest.
But what if you WANT him to take it as a sign of romantic interest?
Then you’re in luck!
Compliments send men a clear signal that you’ve got chemistry.
Why Compliments Matter So Much to Him
There’s one feeling men crave so deeply that they’ll have relationships with women they don’t even like that much, just to get it.
It’s the feeling of being desired.
Feeling desired makes him feel affirmed as a man.
Being desired by a woman makes him feel on top of the world. Even if everything else in his life has gone wrong, he’s a superhero in his woman’s eyes.
When he catches you checking him out, looking at him approvingly, giving him a sly smile, nodding your head, he feels like he’s suddenly morphed into a hunk with bulging muscles and six-pack abs.
Even if that’s not what he sees in the mirror, he glimpses himself as you see him. And he likes what you’re seeing.
Some men can’t understand why women find them attractive. They’ve been taught that their body doesn’t fit the masculine ideal.
Men today struggle with body image issues, thanks to the media obsession with tall, lean, muscular male bodies. Bodies that don’t match that ideal—short bodies, overweight bodies, underweight bodies—aren’t hero-material.
Your guy may never tell you he doesn’t like his body.
He may never talk about body image or wish out loud that he were taller or more muscular.
But that doesn’t mean those concerns don’t lurk somewhere deep inside him.
Your compliments remind him that his body is good enough. His body is desirable. His body is more than capable of turning on the woman he loves.
The Secret to Superpowered Compliments
So make a habit of boosting your guy’s body image.
Whether he’s doing yard work and sweating through his shirt, or whether he’s dressed up for an evening out with you, make a point of checking him out in a noticeable way and saying, “Honey, you look good.”
Superpower your compliments by pairing them with nonverbal body language.
When he greets you after a trip to the gym, stand back, look him up and down, and check out his muscles. You don’t even have a say a thing. Just look into his eyes, raise an eyebrow, or give him a wink.
If he gets dressed up in a suit for a work engagement, take a moment to stand in the doorway and watch him straighten his tie. Keep standing there long after he’s noticed you.
He loves it when you watch him, with that look on your face that says you’re thinking about what might happen later.
Just as you feel good when he compliments you, so he feels amazing when you compliment him. He may not get many compliments, so be the one who always notices him. One approving glance from you can make him feel like a hero.