James Bauer’s Texting Tip of the Week
You step out of the shower. It’s two hours before a date.
Things are new and going well. You feel excited and nervous.
But as fog clears the mirror, you look at your face. Hmm. Not quite symmetrical. Brown hair sticks to your forehead. Plus, his exes’ are all blondes. What if you bleached it…?
Not so fast!
Instead of worrying about what you don’t have or trying to change yourself…
Find your qualities that glow. Say what you like about yourself.
“I have expressive eyes. I have a warm smile!”
Does it sound cheesy? Maybe.
But “self-compassion” isn’t just something for yoga class. It can actually boost your conversation skills.
How? The key to flowing conversation is reciprocity. When one person shares a story or opinion, so does the other.
But self-doubt wilts your desire to volunteer anything personal. You stop reciprocating.
Which makes him feel like he’s prying an oyster.
Practicing self-compassion stops this pattern. And even if the effect on your dating life is small, the impact on your quality of life can be very positive even with the tiny effort involved.