How would it feel to you if a man said…
“I didn’t know what true love was until I met you.”
“You are absolutely perfect to me.”
“I can’t live without you.”
“You are my dream come true.”
It would feel wonderful, wouldn’t it?
It would feel like a fairytale, or a scene from a romantic movie.
Now flip your roles. Imagine that you are the one saying those things to him.
Do you think he’ll respond the same way?
Will those words of romance sink into his heart and make him love you even more?
For some men, the answer is yes.
For other men, the answer is no.
Some men might even find those words so off-putting that they’ll pull away. They’ll close down. They may even break off the relationship.
What could be so wrong with expressing your heart in such a beautiful way?
To understand the answer to that question, you have to understand something about men…
Love is Serious Business
A lot of men take a practical approach to love.
They recognize that loving someone includes obligations, expectations, and responsibilities.
Although they understand the importance of romance to women, it’s not their thing.
For them love is action. It’s what you do, not flowery words.
Dig even deeper, though…
And you may find that the romantic things that sound so beautiful to you mean something different to him.
When he hears you say, “You are absolutely perfect to me,” “I can’t live without you,” or, “You are my dream come true,” he hears his worst fears confirmed.
1. You’ve set him high on a pedestal that he’s SURE to fall from.
Most guys know they’re not perfect.
They know they have flaws. They know there are many things they’re not good at.
So when his girlfriend tells him that he’s her perfect man, or he’s her dream come true, all HE can think of is:
“How long will it be until I disappoint her?”
He knows that he’s not the perfect person she thinks he is.
He’s just an ordinary guy who does his best. One day, he’s guaranteed to mess up and fall off that pedestal she put him on.
2. You’re making him responsible for your happiness.
Back in 1996, female audiences swooned when they heard Jerry Maguire, played by Tom Cruise, say to his wife, “You complete me.”
What could be more romantic than hearing your partner say they cannot live without you?
But for some men, their heart sinks when they hear those words. It feels like a trap.
They hear their girlfriend saying that her entire life now depends on this relationship continuing.
It’s too much pressure. No one should have to carry the burden of someone’s happiness on their shoulders.
3. You’re caught up in the fantasy, not the reality.
Those classic Disney movies have a lot to answer for.
They taught generations of women to wait for their prince to come, with the promise of a happily-ever-after.
In real life, meeting a dreamy man isn’t a sign that happily-ever-after is right around the bend.
A lot can go wrong. You can love someone but not be able to make the practical part work.
That’s why it’s so reassuring to some guys when their relationship stays grounded in reality, rather than getting carried away by romance.
They know that their partner is prepared for difficult times, has thought through any complications, and is committing with full knowledge that things may not work out.
So what can you say to him instead?
You can tease him. “You drive me crazy… and I love every minute.”
You can tell him how you feel when you’re with him. “When I’m with you, I feel so safe and protected. When I’m with you, I feel like I can be myself and let down my guard. When I’m with you, everything is just more fun.”
You can tell him what you appreciate about him. “Getting a text from you always makes me smile. Thanks for thinking of me during the day.” “You crack me up—how did I get so lucky to find a guy with such an awesome sense of humor?”
You can make sure he knows he’s the only one in your heart. “You’re the only one in my life I want to do this with.” “Right now, I just want to be with you and no one else.”