This guy seems okay.
You’re not sure about him, but he’s nice enough. The conversation was good. If he asked you, you’d probably see him again.
But after you go home from your date, you check your phone…
Tomorrow … still nothing.
He doesn’t contact you again, and you shrug your shoulders. Oh well. You tried.
The First Date Dilemma
It’s easy to write off an average first date, but there’s still a sense of disappointment when a connection doesn’t go anywhere.
You’ve already invested a lot in this person. You took the time to message him, build a connection, maybe have a phone conversation.
Not to mention the effort it took to do your hair and makeup, pick the right outfit, psyche yourself up, and go out and meet the guy!
Wouldn’t it be nice if more first dates led somewhere? If you felt some sense of return on all the investment you made?
Then here’s a tip that might just help.
When a man goes out on a first date with a woman, he’s not necessarily expecting to meet the love of his life.
He’s looking for much the same things you are: a sense of connection, easy conversation, common interests, a spark of chemistry…
And one more thing.
It’s something you might not be giving him.
Something you don’t even realize he needs!
But without this one thing, he’s unlikely to ask for a second date.
What is it?
The Crucial Ingredient for a Second Date
It’s a psychological principle called reciprocal liking.
Simply put, a man will hesitate to make a move on you UNLESS he’s sure you won’t reject him.
So if he’s unsure whether you like him…
If he’s unsure whether you’d say yes if he asked you out again…
He probably won’t.
He’ll find someone he feels comfortable asking out a second time, even if she’s not quite the woman you are.
Men will jump through a lot of hoops to avoid rejection. They’ll test a woman they like to make sure she’s amenable to the idea of going out on a date before actually asking her.
Very few men have the confidence to go in cold and ask a woman out, without any idea whether she’s interested or not.
Shy guys have an especially tough time. A guy who doesn’t have an ounce of bad boy in his body may find it difficult to ask you out or kiss you without an obvious green light.
So if you want him to ask you out again, you’ve got to make sure you’re giving him that green light.
How do you do it?
When It’s Okay to Show Him You Like Him
Both men and women have been taught that it’s dangerous to show your interest too soon in the dating game.
If you let him know how much you like him, he won’t feel like he has to do any work. The thrill of the chase will be gone.
That’s an effective strategy if what you’re after is a super-confident player who can have any woman he wants…
But if he’s a really good, kind-hearted guy who’s not necessarily all that confident with women, any standoffishness will put him off.
Good guys don’t want to force themselves on a woman who’s not interested. The minute he thinks you’re not as interested in him as he is in you, he’ll let you go and find someone who likes him back.
If you suspect this guy isn’t completely confident, give him a helping hand.
(Shy guys are often awkward on a first date, so if you can make it to a second date—or a third—you’ll often find out how fun he is as he relaxes with you.)
Tell him how much you’re enjoying the date. Suggest something you could do if you decided to meet again. Don’t be afraid to kiss him goodbye if you feel like it. You don’t even have to wait for him to text you; you can text him after the date, just to say you had a nice time.
When he knows you like him—even if he’s not entirely sure you’re a match—he’s much more likely to ask you out again.
Showing a guy that you like him on a first date may feel uncomfortable at first. You may be so used to holding back that you feel exposed just by telling him you’re enjoying his company.
But this act of emotional generosity—allowing the warmth of your pleasure to shine through—can transform your dating life.
We like people who like us back. We hold back around people we aren’t sure of.
Give him that certainty, and you might just find yourself going on a lot more second dates!