I like simple ideas. Especially ones that unlock feelings of joy. Or thoughts that energize you.
Like this thought from Ashley Smith, for example:
“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
This quote is about looking for what’s good. When you look for beauty, you find beauty.
The problem is that it is more common for the human mind to dwell on problems.
Your mind is an excellent problem solver. Your mind tends to obsess about any problem that gets in the way. This can be quite useful unless there is no easy solution, in which case we experience a building feeling of stress as one unsolved problem builds on another.
The solution for boosting energy and happiness is simple.
Our minds can only focus on a very small number of things at once. The more often you purposefully focus your mind on the good things in life, the less mental space is left for your mind to dwell on problems.
The result? You feel happier and your energy level rises.
Happy and energetic women are attractive to men. But even if every man on earth disappeared tomorrow, you would benefit tremendously from the happiness and the higher energy regardless of how it may benefit your dating life.
Let me recap. Living life full of passion is fun. Guys dig it too. You get there by changing the focus of your thoughts. Which brings us to my final, and most important point…
The easiest way to control the focus of your thoughts for boosting energy and happiness is by asking yourself the right questions.
If you ask yourself, “Why am I alone again on Valentine’s Day?” your mind will go searching for the answer. It will roam through all kinds of negative thoughts about yourself, people who have hurt you, or unlucky circumstances that frustrate you.
If, on the other hand, you ask yourself questions like, “What have I really enjoyed this year that I should do again sometime soon?” Then your mind goes searching through memories of good times. Plus you start thinking about openings in your schedule when you could plug in something fun.
If you start each day by asking yourself, “What am I grateful for today?” you will feel more grateful and more alive all day long.
If you ask yourself, “What is one thing I feel proud about?” your mind will automatically respond by shifting your focus to possible answers to that question. You will experience a boost in self-esteem simply by calling to mind the things you have done well.
So here’s my question for you to ponder today. “How can I get in the habit of asking myself the right questions more often? What can I do to leave myself reminders to make this positive new habit a part of my daily life?”
Till next time,
A great technique is as soon as you wake up think of something that makes you really happy or content for 15 seconds. Feel it, see it in your minds eye. Then something else that feels great should tag onto the original thought. This is a great activity to do when thinking of your partner. Maybe he did something that annoyed you. Instead of dwelling on that start thinking of the special moments and look at your relationship through the lens of love. Fill yourself with love for your partner and you will have a better relationship 🙂 You can always discuss the issue that upsets you later from a place of love. It will be a less angry conversation
Thanks James, I am going to add the question “What am I grateful for today?” to my morning routine. I look forward to your blogs, I learned something each time I read them.
I love this, thank you, I so want to have faith in humanity again, how Have I forgotten reading Viktor Frankels book!. (It rode on the dash of my truck for over a year, and I too feel that I stumbled upon it because what I needed came to me, I just know it was meant to be~This moved me to tears, thank you thank you thank you~♡
it makes sense , and few minutes before I was questioning myself those other type of questions.Someone said -Sorrow is like old lady selling roses,you buy one and she ‘ll try to sell you the whole basket.
Thank you James. You have inspired me and I appreciate you for helping all of us women. I try to stay positive about things and my love life.
I never used to worry when my family meaning parents and sibling were alive or even my inlaws but everyone has passed away sooner than expected. Now I always think of what COULD happen know that there is no one I could go to for help. I have grown kids, a boyfriend they would help me if I was dying but not for other things that could happen so I am always stressed out. I have a business that has seen ups and downs. It’s better now but am paying back some loans and always worried about it. When my BF puts me down for looking at thing to complicated etc even though he has no idea about my business and what it entails and all the multi-tasking and just says “google it’ well I googe many things when I do research for my products and designs but I work a lot so there is only so much time to look into investments etc. When my confidence is down that type of attitude brings me down even more. I think we all need positive strokes not criticism and I am generally happy and upbeat friendly and smile a lot and am helpful to strangers and to anyone…i am hard on myself though. My parents were that way so I really don’t like to hear that sort of thing Some of it may be true but he never had to change jobs and he has lived in the house even after his wife left him it was very traumatic a zillion years ago and basically that was it. Never had to reinvent himself and she handled the kid stuff you know the hard stuff not just money when there are problems. I want to say it’s easy for you to say but I just get sad…I don’t like being sad or depressed it is not a good motivator. How can I keep my spirits up and go for it?
Hey Laura. I suggest you tell him the basics of what you just told us here in your comment. He needs to know how his comments impact your emotions and you deserve a man who will partner with you in keeping your spirits up. Ask him if he is interested and willing to learn something important about the way you internally react to things he says. Tell him you want to share it with him as a way of investing in your relationship with him. Thank him in advance for being willing to learn (before you begin explaining).
Thanks I will to do that. He has apologized which is a first so he is trying. Your reply means a lot to me.because it shows I deserve it .
I want to say thank you for sharing your inspired truths with us. You are a very special and rare man, and I so appreciate you. I have been receiving and enjoying your emails since Oct. 8, and this is the first time I have responded. This post of yours is especially opportune for me at this time in my life. I have so many major intertwined “life problems” going on, that it had all begun to drag me down…to change “me” and the positive person I have always been. It is so easy to focus on the negative in your life when you have a “season” of great challenges (problems…hmmm, or are they opportunities?), because they are constantly present and at the forefront of your conscious thoughts and daily efforts. That in turn, begins to change your subconscious thoughts (your “self-talk”) which changes your behavior and habits….sigh…and then you wake up one day and you don’t recognize yourself…or even like the person you see. It is especially difficult when they are of the type where you feel powerless, because the outcomes are largely beyond your control. I have felt hopeless and like my life had no more meaning…a very bad place to be.
I have always loved reading and writing (the library is one of my favorite places) and I found a book that was referenced in another book I was reading recently. If it is okay, I would like to mention them here, because they have helped me to change my perspective (which truly does shape personal “reality”) at a time when I was desperately looking for hope and purpose.
The first is “Aspire” by Kevin Hall…which led me to the second, “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Viktor Frankel. This is a book that I believe I was led to find at this “beyond difficult” time. This man’s words have brought me back to my Meaning and Purpose that I almost lost…and at its center is an essential word that you used…Gratitude. If a man in a concentration camp for 3 years can be grateful…then surely I can be too. I know that sometimes the “answers” we seek are within us, we just have to go deeper, through the middle of the pain and despair…and thru all the “stacks of the day’s problems” to find them again. My situation is not resolved…it is still just as big as ever…but my faith, my capacity to endure, to “step back”….and even to see Meaning in what had seemed to be randomness and chaos…is what has changed I am grateful for people (like you and these authors), who are put in our “path” to help point the way when we are lost and searching. Thank you for providing this forum and for giving me a way to affirm these things and to share them with others.
To you and your readers…have a blessed (and Meaningful) New Year!
Lisa, my name is Barbara. I don’t know you but you just became my best friend! Your commentary is so spot on we could be twins! You have just written the last decade of my life n I have recently had that same awakening but it’s instigator was God. Simply reaching the end of my rope and with nowhere else to go I tried fasting and prayers.. it’s a slow process and like you said the situation is not fixed but my attitude has changed and that makes the world of difference. This particular post is going to be especially good for me because it reinforces the direction I’m being led in at the moment so to agree with the consensus, THANKS JAMES! I don’t even know how you got in my inbox but God saw I would need you. Keep up the good work and it’s nice to know that we women have a (sensible) man in our corner. And Lisa, never give up honey, from half a world away you’ve got company and reinforcement. God bless.
Thank you James, you are always uplifting and inspiring. I treat each day as a gift and always try to see the best in everything. I find this helps perceived problems to seem insignificant compared to the bigger picture and am much happier as a result..
Thank you James. I find your write-ups so inspiring.
Thanks James. This is wonderful. Before I used to think negatively but since I discovered the power of positive thinking and believing in myself, my life has changed.
thank u James for this inspirational script, i always say to my husband that whenever there is a problem he should focus on the solution first before the cause.
Thanks James for your interesting topics. Although, this paragraph “The solution is simple. Our minds can only focus on a very small number of things at once. The more often you purposefully focus your mind on the good things in life, the less mental space is left for your mind to dwell on problems.” has me not agreeing too much. Therefore, I have a question:
What happens when problems pop up that need solving as soon as possible, and instead of focusing on the problem and possible solutions and actions, are you saying to ignore the problem and instead focus on positive happy things???? hmmm, sounds like procrastination or possibly avoiding anything negative, which I find is impossible.
You bring up a good point of clarification. The concepts here are for developing your mindset and purpose, which will give you strength in the long run. These methods are not for avoiding actual, existing problems where purposeful action could bring a beneficial result. As always, the kind of information you find here requires a measure of independent thinking to recognize the appropriate times for application.
We can enjoy our lives even in the most difficult times by setting our attitude and giving thanks in all things. Another way of looking at it is living in “non resistance” which uses less energy than resistance. Basically…going with the flow.
Smiles are contagious…even to our own spirit!
I enjoy every bit of your news letters. Thanks James
I felt like a new person after reading your tips I’m a happy woman I’m enjoying my life to the fullest potential now. I was asking myself lots of questions but now I have answers. Thank you James you like an angel that has been sent by God to me.
Thanks for the motivation James
hey thanks for inspiring us and encouraging us to live a happy and healthy life 🙂
James! nothing more truthfull than what you are saying I really enjoy reading your articles. keep on uplifiting the nation!
thank you James, i really love your stuff!
I love reading your scripts they are amazing and make me strong ..This article is so motivating its true when you have positive thots you always think right nad its always healthy.
James, I need your help. We met online 7 months ago and fell hard, we’ve talked of marriage because I won’t do it any other way. But he said to me will you respect me, I said yes of course. He then said will you honor me, of course. We have been trying to get together since the beginning. But after great lengths he realized we’d have to wait till January to make the trip. Financially it wasn’t possible. I called to say we need to get together sooner, but I was going to suggest me going to him which would be easier, he said again he couldn’t do it and before I could say anything my phone dropped the call. Three days later he texted.me.” When you hung up on me because you couldn’t get your way that says a lot” It’s been total silence for 6 weeks. He’s still on the dating site I see him on there every morning. I texted him tonight one from your programs. Only to find out it wouldn’t go through because he had blocked my number. Wow, does he hate me? I know to disrespect a man is major, but is this something that I can’t come back from in his mind? Will your magic work in this situation? Help me James. Do you still do counseling sessions? Thanks for any help to get my man back.
Thanks James, that is so true. I always deal with a negative thought by observing it, then i banish it and replace it with a positive one, so my mind goes from one happy event to another which leads me to being productive and totally happy.
Thank you for the article. please send more questions.