As you can probably imagine, I spend a fair amount of time absorbing the ideas and methods of other dating coaches. Some of their ideas are helpful, some I just flat-out disagree with.
Generally speaking, I agree with the concept of putting your best foot forward and doing everything in your power to maximize your attraction factors. However, I disagree with the idea of focusing most of your attention on those issues.
Here’s why. When you focus too much on yourself, you kill the most beautiful part of your presence.
When I use the term “presence” I am referring to the experience of the other person. I am referring to the experience a man has of being in your presence.
I cannot over emphasize the importance of that special “click” that causes a person to have the sudden feeling that someone else is special. That “click” is far less likely to happen when your mind is preoccupied with putting your best foot forward.
Here’s what I recommend instead. Focus on the other person while maintaining full conscious awareness of the present moment as it unfolds one second at a time.
Next, add this special little ingredient. Look at the man you are interacting with and think the thought, “Let me love you.” This last little addition will change you in a special sort of way.
It will cause your eyes to become softer and warmer. It will cause your presence to deepen. It will draw your focus onto him in a way that is enchanting and nonthreatening. He will sense it, and it will make a significant impact on his experience of interacting with you.
This method works as well with a stranger you just met as it does with a man you are trying to bring back into your life. Of course, this is only the tip of the iceberg. You can take this concept much deeper with the specific instructions I offer in my complete guide to being irresistible, called What Men Secretly Want.
I hope you find this concept useful and apply it in your life. You have nothing to lose, so why not work with it and try to make it your own secret method? No one will even know you are doing it!
Have a great day!
James
Thank you James for all your help. Your tips indeed are very helpful and bring joy to my eyes. Worth trying and worth using them.
I think that is a very good suggestion !
I WILL try this. Weve been living together over 9 yrs yrs, but i know now there have been multiple infidelities. Its a mess right now, but ill try this
Hi James, I have been doing affirmations for about 4 years now and I also practice this concept often. I think something a little different… I am lovable, loving and loved, and I love you. I never ever get angry anymore, even when I’m verbally attacked which happens very rarely. I had a fender bender in a parking lot and the woman said it was the nicest experience she has ever had during an accident. So I am happy you put this post out there and I am a testament to its validity.
Love your advice,
Pamleann
Thanks for sharing this Pamleann so that I can try it!
Great tip! So simple, yet I would never have thought of it! I can’t wait to try this. The power of positive thinking…
Thank you
Thank YOU for loving US!
I like this, but I am hesitant to let him in as he’s already told me he isn’t good at long term relationships.
It’s probably worthwhile finding out what he believes to be the primary reasons he has not done well with long-term relationships in the past.
Thank you for this
Again, amazing. Thank you for these simple yet huge tips you keep sharing.
I think it is wonderful advice. I’ll try it with my boyfriend, we’ve been together for 4 years but he still doesn’t know if he wants to marry me… Thank you for your valuable tips!
James, it is awesome. Faithful reader. All these tips are changing my life. Keep it coming. Love you.
James, thank you.
And, it is pertinent in relating to everyone in my life as well as my special partner of 40 years, renewing our relationship as we journey through our lives together.
I guess I really don’t worry about best foot forward lot , as I like just being me , but sounds interesting ,, thanks
Thanks Mr , James
I will try it , I guess my fiancee is a little distant ( physically because he is over seas & emotionally , he did not call much & do not send emails as much as he used to be ) I hope this will work ,
If you can , please give me other tips I can use ? This will be extremely generous of you .
thanks for your great advice .
Actually thats a great concept if I use that even in the business with clients. It would be the more authentic you instead being to official…that doesnt mean I want to “love you” but more emphaty, understanding, let me serve you better…
attention getter, mirror effect
Great one James, love this 🙂