The longer you have to wait, the more anxious you feel. Is he snubbing you? Did he take your last message the wrong way? Is he losing interest? What does it mean?
The truth is, most of the time it doesn’t mean anything.
There’s this great video called “I Forgot My Phone.” It depicts a young woman in all kinds of social situations. The other people she’s with, her friends and even her boyfriend, are constantly on their phones. She stands out because she’s the only one who doesn’t have an electronic device in hand. She’s more focused on the things going on around her than updating her social networks.
What about you? Are you one of those people who treats your smartphone like an appendage? If so, I can understand why it would freak you out when he doesn’t reply quickly. Your phone is always with you. If you don’t reply immediately, there’s a reason.
But I want you to consider two things.
First, not everyone carries their smartphone around with them 24/7. Maybe he’s the kind of guy who leaves his phone on his dresser or desk and doesn’t notice a new notification until hours later. He may not be ignoring or avoiding you at all. It’s entirely possible that he’s just busy living life in the real world instead of keeping himself tethered to the digital world.
And if you think about it, isn’t that a good thing? Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who’s more invested in being present when he’s with you than updating his Facebook status?
Ultimately, that indicates balance in his life.
Here’s the second thing to think about. When relationships are developing, they’re both exciting and scary. It’s totally normal to get a little nervous when you’re waiting for him to reply to a text message. But if you allow yourself to stay in panic mode until he responds, that’s bad.
As a dating relationship coach, I can tell you panic puts you in a dangerous state of mind. It sets you up for being short, irritable and self-conscious. It’s not at all conducive to you being your most attractive self.
So the next time you find yourself waiting for a response from him don’t just sit around worrying. Instead, use it as a reminder to get out there and live your life. Put your phone down. Engage in meaningful conversation with a friend. Take a walk. Tackle a project you’ve been putting off. Do something.
Waiting for a response is never fun, but you can turn that downtime into a positive thing. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Recognize it as information about who he is. That knowledge may come in handy the next time you get a text alert while looking deeply into his eyes.