If love disappears in a fight, does that mean you’re not right for each other?
Even if you’re deeply in love with someone, when a fight breaks out it can feel like you’ve become mortal enemies.
On top of the anger and frustration you feel, fear takes hold. Where did all those good feelings go?
Love didn’t go anywhere. It’s just temporarily over-shadowed by the conflicting emotions of the immediate situation.
That’s the nature of fights. They’re intense.
Even when conflict erupts over something small or silly, it can feel like it’s the end of the world. Both of you focus almost exclusively on whatever you’re fighting about.
This is totally normal.
The same thing happens when you allocate all of your focus to anything else. When you’re hard at work, that doesn’t mean your family and friends no longer matter or cease to exist.
Still, you may go hours without thinking of them because you’re zeroed in on the task at hand. It’s purely a matter of focus.
Likewise, fights tend to bring our fears, insecurities and even past pain to the surface. Those are some powerful feelings. Powerful enough that virtually all of your attention locks on them.
Of course you still love him and he still loves you. That reality doesn’t evaporate just because there’s conflict. But you may not feel it in the middle of a fight.
The key thing to remember is that love is much more than a feeling. It’s something far deeper.
What’s more, it’s not something outside of you that you have to chase after. It’s something inside of you that you nurture.
Don’t freak out when the feeling of love seem to disappear in the middle of an argument. Instead, try to focus on resolution.
Keep in mind, this will be hard because you’ll want to focus on those feelings of anger, fear and pain. Acknowledge them, share them, and then push past them to find some common ground.
When the conflict ends, remember that love is an active choice. It’s something that starts inside of you.
There is no need to fret over those times when you don’t feel love. Every committed relationship goes through that. Worrying about it will only distract you from the joy you might otherwise feel.
Instead, focus on choosing love. After all, the ability we have to generate love with those we care about is powerful. Harness that power as often as you can.
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Learn the #1 Hidden Reason Men Fall In Love (He’ll Thank You For This)