It’s no secret. Confidence helps in the world of dating and romance.
If you feel confident about how you look, you will be more playful, relaxed, and attractive. If you feel confident about your value as a human being, you will bring warmth and genuine presence to your interactions with men.
What if you have low self-confidence about your appearance or your personal value? Does it help to repeat affirmations like, “I am radiant and beautiful?”
The short answer is no. That’s the conclusion of a research study where the typical version of affirmations was put to the test.
If you do not already feel beautiful, saying you do just brings your focus to something that decreases your confidence.
But here’s the good news.
If you use affirmations to focus your mind on things you actually believe to be true, your confidence will go up!
If you affirm things you already like about yourself, you can bolster your confidence. Affirmations are an easy way to focus on things that make you feel more confident.
It all comes down to where your focus goes. Your conscious attention is like a flashlight shining into a dark room cluttered with lots of stuff.
The beam of the flashlight can only light up a few things at a time. By choosing which things to focus on (using affirmations to focus the beam) you can change your emotional state.
For example, if you don’t feel beautiful compared to other women, saying you beautiful makes you feel like a liar trying to pretend to be something you don’t really believe you are.
But if you are funny and you know it, an affirmation like, “Anyone can enjoy my company because I will make them laugh,” is a good affirmation.
Reminding yourself of your qualities just before you walk into a social environment can reconnect your thoughts with your positive qualities, thereby generating more confidence and a feeling of self-worth that will help you attract the right guys and say no to the wrong ones.