how to find your inner strengthMae West said, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Are you doing it right? Are you spending your time, effort and energy on the things that are really worthwhile? Or are you holding back?

Don’t hold back. Spend all your life pursuing (all out) the things you believe to be worthy of your life.

The core message I want to communicate to anyone who looks to me for guidance is a simple one. Live your life to the fullest. Spend every moment you can pursuing what matters most.

It’s definitely one of those “easier said than done” type messages. There are always good reasons to hold back. Things like holding down a job, obligations to friends and family, and even the daily race just to tick off everything on your to-do list.

All of that stuff takes up time and energy. Sure, it’s noble to live life to the fullest, but many of us feel we simply don’t have the luxury of making that a reality.

The thing is, I believe in you. I believe if you look deeply within yourself, you will find there are things you believe in that are worthy of your time, energy, and full pursuit… even in the face of hardship.

Of course, the biggest reason we hold back is even more basic. We’re afraid of failure.

I’m with you on that one. I’ve spent my share of time dragging around the “Yeah, but what if I fail?” excuse. I call it an excuse because, in the end, the only failure is not trying.

But what I want you to know is that I believe in you. And you are most inspiring when you go after the things that give your life meaning and purpose.

I’m confident that if you look deep within yourself you’ll find there are things you truly want out of life, even if some of them are hard to go after. In fact, you’ll likely discover that the things you want to pursue are the very things that make you feel most alive…the things that energize and motivate you.

I want you to invest in those things, and here’s how.

I’m a dating coach. My guess is that a relationship is one of the things you’d like to pursue. But, like all of the things that matter most in life, there’s risk in going after the relationship you want. It feels a bit like a gamble. You’re sitting there, clutching your cards, worried that maybe you’ll lose if you play your hand.

But there’s a scarier possible outcome. What if you get to the end of the game only to discover that you played it too safe? What if you never play your cards? You may not lose, but you definitely won’t win.

Yes, it’s a gamble, and it can certainly be scary. But anything really worth having involves risk.

how to find your inner strengthFind your hidden strength. (Tip: You usually find it right after expending every ounce of courage you have). It’s there in all of us. If you tap into that strength, you can go after the things you really want, even when there are dozens of reasons why it might be hard.

Personally, I don’t think you should ever allow fear to keep you from going after what you want, including the kind of relationship you want. I believe you should pursue that with all your heart.

I also believe there’s a balance you can strike. You don’t have to go “all in” the first time you’re dealt a hand. Instead, there are things you can do to protect yourself and minimize some of that risk.

So here’s a perfect blend. Go for everything you want in a relationship. Don’t be afraid to really go after the man who’s going to make you the happiest! And at the same time, practice excellent boundaries and get serious about looking inside yourself to make sure you’re not carrying around junk that’s going to attract harmful people into your life.

Once you’ve established clear boundaries for what is cool and what isn’t cool, go after what you want. Don’t hold back.

Life is full of risks and rewards. You can’t claim the rewards without taking some of the risks. Even if you’ve had bad dating experiences in the past, don’t be afraid to take chances. Don’t hold back.

After all, you only live once. Do it right. Live the life that reflects your deepest values.

Always on your side,

James

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