You’re getting ready to go out on a first date with a guy you met online.
What’s the single most important factor in determining whether you have chemistry?
- How much you have in common
- How well you flirt
- How you look
- How you smell
I’ll tell you the answer in just a minute, but first let’s look at the way most of us—men and women alike—get ready for a date.
If you want to make a great first impression, there’s one thing that’s absolutely crucial: cleanliness. Take a shower, wash your hair, brush your teeth. Get every trace of sweat and grunge off.
Then you want to pick the right outfit. Something that strikes just the right note.
Last but not least, top it all off with just the right scent. For men that’s cologne; for women, perfume, lotion, or powder.
You’re ready to go, confident you look and smell your best.
But what if that fail-proof routine actually sabotages your chemistry?
I know. It sounds CRAZY.
What could possibly be wrong about showing up to a date feeling clean, well-dressed, and smelling great?
The short answer is…
I’m not talking about those dubious pheromone sprays that show up in spammy ads in your inbox.
I’m talking about YOUR pheromones.
The ones you have by virtue of being a member of the animal kingdom.
Pheromones are simply scent signals. They’re found in almost every kind of animal, from squid to bees.
You have your own unique “scent signature.” It’s how your dog recognizes you. Mothers can even recognize their babies by scent alone.
This signature scent is one of your most appealing attributes.
You’ve probably heard about the sweaty t-shirt studies. On several occasions, researchers have asked women to sniff sweaty t-shirts and report whether they found the smell pleasant or appalling.
They found that women prefer the scent of men who are immunologically different from them.
Researchers speculate that this preference is built into our biology, helping us pick mates that have the best chance of producing genetically robust offspring.
So it’s not the case that there are certain pheromones that are universally attractive to the opposite sex. Rather, whether or not you find someone’s signature scent attractive is based on your own genetic makeup.
This idea caught fire in what’s known as pheromone parties.]
These are events at which participants bring a plain white t-shirt they’ve worn for several nights, sealed in a plastic bag.
Singles sniff the t-shirts and decide whether the smell of that person appeals to them or not. If they like the smell, they track down the wearer.
Now, you may never want to sniff a man’s sweaty t-shirt. But the moment you lean in for a kiss, you’re going to get a good whiff of how he smells.
If he’s covered up his natural scent with cologne, what you’ll end up smelling is artificial fragrance. You’ll have lost any chance at discovering your “animal attraction.”
The same goes for you.
Any fragrances you wear cover up your signature scent.
If you’ve just taken a shower with scented soap and washed your hair with scented shampoo and sprayed on perfume, he’s going to be met with a cloud of artificial fragrance … rather than the unique odor of your body chemistry.
If you’re like many women, you may prefer the odor of scented products to your own natural odor. You may even feel your own natural odor is kind of gross.
But that’s because you’re not a man.
There’s nothing wrong with the smell of a woman. Women smell great, even if they are a bit sweaty!
So how can you use this information to create irresistible chemical attraction the next time you go on a date?
I wouldn’t recommend showing up to a date wearing the same white t-shirt you’ve worn for several days. 😉
But there’s nothing wrong with showing up on a date wearing the same outfit you’ve been wearing all day, if you think it’s the right look.
See what happens if you forgo the artificial fragrances. Try out some unscented beauty products. Dare to smell like yourself.
Then sit close enough to him for him to get a whiff.
You can also use this information to do the sniff test on him. Forget about how he looks and how well he flirts for a moment. How does he smell? Does he smell familiar, comfortable, enticing?
A client once told me that there’s only one piece of dating advice her father ever gave her. “Make sure you like how they smell,” he said, “because you’re going to be stuck with that smell for the rest of your life!”
Given what we now know from the research, that’s advice that
is destined to become a classic!