You met this guy, and you REALLY like him.
You can’t help telling your friends all about him…
Dreaming about him while you’re supposed to be focusing at work…
Wondering when he’s going to call.
The only reason you’ve gone back on the online dating app is to see if you’ve got any messages from him.
You’re not interested in anyone else anymore. You’re still getting messaged on the app, but you don’t ever read them. There’s only one guy you want to hear from, and that’s Mr. Dreamy!
If this were a romantic movie, you’d bump into him one morning walking down the street and discover he’s the brother of a close friend. Hijinks would ensue, and you’d end up in each other’s arms with fireworks exploding in the distance.
But back in the real world…
You’re still glancing at your phone, waiting to see a message from him.
What is he waiting for? You know he felt the spark, too!
Maybe he doesn’t want to scare you off by messaging you back too soon?
So you try to be patient, and you wait and you wait…
Wanting to contact him, not wanting to seem too eager, trying to use your (nonexistent) telepathic powers to get him to hurry up and message you.
WHY is this taking so long?
Why hasn’t he messaged yet???
Hold on just a moment…
This is when some classic dating advice could come in useful.
It’s Classic for a Reason
There’s one piece of dating advice that has stood the test of time.
In fact, online dating has made it more effective than ever.
What is it?
Don’t stop dating other people until you’ve agreed to become exclusive.
As tempting as it is to give your heart away as soon as you’ve met a wonderful guy, don’t pledge your heart to him UNTIL he’s asked you to be his.
No matter how much you like him, don’t save every night of the week for him unless he’s saving every night of the week for you.
This advice often goes against our natural instincts.
When you meet someone you adore, that’s it. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t feel the same way about you. You can’t even think about anyone else.
But if you want to give this fledgling romance the best chance of succeeding, continue to meet and date other people.
Not only will it take your mind off him, but it will boost his desire for you with the help of three attraction principles:
These attraction principles increase his craving for you and make it much more likely he’ll ask for that second date ASAP!
Online dating has made dating harder in one respect.
Singles tend to think they’ll never run out of options, making it less likely they’ll settle down with any one person.
But at the same time online dating offers a valuable gift:
A sense of urgency.
If a guy meets you through online dating, then he knows you’re chatting with other men. He knows that you could go off the market at any moment. The longer he waits, the more likely it is that you’ll meet someone else.
That gives him a sense of urgency that can work in your favor.
Mention to him that you’re enjoying the online dating process and meeting new people. He’ll understand that he’s not the only one you’re seeing. If he doesn’t want you to slip through his fingers, he’d better nail down that second date.
Another advantage to using online dating apps is that you can usually see when he’s online, and he can see when you’re online, too.
If he’s thinking about pursuing your connection, then seeing that you’re online reminds him that he’d better make a move soon.
Even though you haven’t made any promises to each other, he knows that you’re talking to other guys, and that may give him a twinge of jealousy.
Even though he knows you’re not together, a small part of him wants you to only talk to HIM. He doesn’t want to share you with anyone else.
But the only way that can happen is if he makes a move, and he knows it.
My clients tell me that it’s one of the most frustrating things about men:
If a man knows that you’re waiting for him, he’ll let you wait.
If he knows you’ll always be available, regardless of whether he messages you today or next week, he won’t get around to it until next week.
He sees you as a sure bet, so he puts his own priorities over you.
But if you aren’t always available, because you’ve got an active dating life, then he has to reassess his priorities.
You don’t put him first. You have to work him into your schedule.
And that makes him uncertain as to where he comes in YOUR priority list.
That uncertainty is good for men. It forces them to get clear on how much they want you in their life, and what they’re willing to do to make it happen.
So don’t close down your online dating app just because you met a guy you really like.
Keep dating other people until he makes it clear he wants you to be together.
That may very well just give him the push he needs to make you his #1 priority!