Everything is going great.
You’re talking. You’re laughing. You’re having fun.
Then you say something—you can’t even remember what now—and you can immediately tell it was the wrong thing.
His face becomes expressionless. He doesn’t reply. His energy chills.
No matter how hard you try to rescue the conversation, it’s over. He’s shut down.
When he says goodbye with a curt voice, you know he won’t be calling again.
What Just Happened?
It’s impossible to watch every word that comes out of your mouth.
It’s not fun, either.
You want to be with someone you can relax with.
You don’t want to worry that he’ll take offense at an innocent comment.
Yet how many times has a man got upset over something innocent you said?
You didn’t mean anything by it. You didn’t mean to make him feel bad.
But he chose to take it the wrong way…
And it made everything incredibly uncomfortable.
How can you avoid letting a promising relationship fall apart because of a misunderstanding?
It’s impossible to avoid miscommunication entirely. You never know how someone will react to what you say.
But understanding male psychology can help you be aware of the 3 main pitfalls.
What He’s Looking For
When you’re talking together, your date is reading between the lines.
He’s looking for evidence that your relationship has potential… or not.
Once you understand what he’s looking for, you can see why certain comments make him react the way he does.
Some comments make him feel like you’re not on the same wavelength.
Other comments make him feel like the two of you are perfectly in tune.
He’s looking for 3 crucial pieces of information. If all these boxes are checked, then you’re a strong candidate for winning his heart.
- He wants to impress you.
- He wants to be the best guy you’ve ever been with.
- He wants both of you to be happy.
If you can communicate all three, then he knows it might be the beginning of something beautiful.
Reading Between the Lines
But when you say something that makes him feel like he doesn’t measure up…
Or he’s let you down…
Or he can’t compete with the other guys you’ve been with…
He takes it to mean that you’re not a good fit.
He doesn’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t think the world of him. He doesn’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t think he’s the greatest. He doesn’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t enjoying being with him.
And it’s not just men who think that way. Don’t you also want a partner who thinks you’re amazing?
So make sure to give him a green light by showing him that you love being with him, you respect and admire him, and he’s one of the greatest guys you’ve ever met.
And avoid saying these 3 things…
3 Things You Should Never Say to Him
#1. Never compare him unfavorably to others.
Maybe he’s just told you that he plays guitar, and you launch into a story about an ex of yours that invited you to all his gigs. Immediately, he feels like less of a man than your ex—even though you didn’t mean it that way at all.
Try to be in the moment together. It’s just you and him, and no one else matters.
#2. Never imply he’s not enough.
It’s natural to want to point out when someone you’re talking to gets their facts wrong.
It’s natural to want to show someone where they aren’t doing it right or how they could do better.
But sometimes a man can feel as if you’re criticizing him rather than correcting him.
He feels as if you’re making HIM “wrong.”
As you build greater trust in one another, he’ll be less sensitive to critical comments. He knows you. He knows you’re just trying to be supportive and encouraging.
But until then, be gentle with one another.
#3. Never imply you’re disappointed in him.
A man feels like a hero when he puts a smile on the face of the woman he loves.
When he’s met with a frown instead, it hits him in the gut.
He knows when he hasn’t met your expectations.
He knows when you’re just pretending you like what he did.
Not everything your guy will do for you will delight you. But you can always appreciate the intention behind it.
When you show him that he can make you happy, and he’s a great guy, and you’re impressed by who he is and what he’s made of his life, then you’re telling him what he’s hoping to hear:
This is a match made in heaven.