But first, a quick head’s up. You already know this stuff. Maybe you’ve connected it to dating before, and maybe you haven’t. Either way, I’m sure there’s nothing here that’ll be new to you.
Just think of this as a helpful reminder. Kind of like going back to the basics.
In the world of self-help, we all have a tendency to pay a lot of attention to what’s new. The newest book. The newest TED talk. The newest research study.
That stuff is cool. But if you only have a little bit of time, you’d be better off focusing on stuff that’s old.
I’m talking about tried-and-true self-help concepts. Books that have stood the test of time. Basic self-care routines that lower stress. Ideas that have proven to be among the most powerful foundations for a life well lived.
These ideas are not as exciting as new stuff. But most of the new stuff will fade into the background before long. And only a few of those new ideas will stand the test of time, proving to be some of the best concepts for enhancing your life.
So here’s the point…
If you’re interested in fiery passion and overall fulfillment (I know you are!), then it’s important to go back to the basics from time to time. When you get the core parts of your life in order, then you’re really set up for dating success.
Before we get to the good stuff, I want to make something clear. A lot of my articles include tips. This one does not. This one includes reminders.
There’s nothing below you don’t already know. I would be insulting your intelligence if I implied otherwise. In fact, this really is BASIC stuff.
But my experience—with clients and with my own life—is that sometimes we need reminders. That said, let’s talk about three important parts of your life.
First up, exercise. It’s not just good for physical health. It does wonders for you mentally and emotionally, too. One specific benefit is lower stress.
Stress can devastate romance. In fact, a 2015 study showed a clear link between high levels of stress and declines in romance.
And then, of course, there are other obvious benefits. When you’re in better shape, you’re more self-assured. You look and act like the best version of yourself. That added confidence is something guys definitely notice.
Similarly, what you eat is also a big deal. And, like exercise, a good diet can actually lower stress levels.
A lot of people, both men and women, use food for comfort. Instead of dealing with what’s going on in the rest of their lives (like their relationships), they eat to cope. All that does is provide false comfort.
Consider the words of therapist Allison Kahner: “The fulfillment of our needs, not our wants, is what makes us happy.” Develop dietary habits that meet your needs, and resist the temptation to let your diet slip for the sake of comfort.
Finally, you need good sleep. How much? That differs for everyone. The average is 7-9 hours.
But just as important as the amount is the quality. It’s good to cultivate a routine. Try to go to bed at about the same time every night and get up at about the same time every morning.
Oh, and don’t skimp on pampering yourself when it comes to things like linens and pillows. Sure, the good stuff costs more. But it’s hard to overstate the value of a quality mattress, a supportive pillow and nice, soft sheets.
One more thing. Good sleep also lowers stress. In fact, couples who don’t get enough rest are statistically more likely to fight.
Exercise, diet and sleep are essential components for self-care. When you have those areas of your life locked down, you’ll be more effective in every other arena—including dating.
If you want to give your love life a substantial boost, make sure you’re on top of this stuff. These may not be the sexiest topics in the world, but they’re a big part of creating the kind of passionate romance you’re after.
P.S. Since you’ve been on my subscriber list for a while, let me take a moment to remind you to review one of the “basics” of my own advice.
While my emails bring up a lot of interesting topics, it may be worth going back and listening to the audio version of His Secret Obsession again if it’s been a while since you went through the course.