Long-term relationships are comfortable.
You’re used to each other. You’ve got your routine.
You no longer wake up every single morning thinking, “I’m so lucky!”
It’s a wonderful feeling when you can finally relax into a relationship. You can be real with one another. You can let down your guard. He’s already seen your worst side—and it hasn’t scared him away. 😉
But growing comfortable in a relationship comes at a cost.
You start to forget the delight and surprise you felt at having found one another. You take each other for granted.
Then his birthday rolls around—or your anniversary, or the holidays—and you have an opportunity to stop, take a breath, and remember how lucky you were to have met at all.
Imagine if things had gone differently! I’ve known couples who would never have met and fallen in love if it weren’t for a last-minute change in plans, or allowing themselves to get dragged to a party they didn’t want to go to, or having the courage to strike up a conversation with a stranger.
Relationships are built on moments like these. All it takes is one decision to pave the way for the love of a lifetime … or send you away from each other for good.
How can you let your guy know you haven’t forgotten how lucky you are?
How can you let him know he will always be your special guy?
For most women, their first thought is to splurge on something for him. Maybe you spring for tickets to the game, plan a party, or surprise him with his favorite dinner. You want to make a grand romantic gesture proving your love.
But research has found that occasional grand gestures aren’t what make us feel loved.
What makes us feel loved are the common, everyday ways our loved ones show us we matter.
Like snuggling up together. Being happy to see us. Saying, “I love you.”
Don’t wait for his birthday or the holidays to show your guy how much you care. Make him feel loved by doing the little things for him every day.
Here are 3 gifts you can give him today and every day to make him feel incredibly loved.
Gift #1: Smiley Eyes
How often do you look at your guy during the day?
How often do you SEE him?
You can live with someone and never really see him. You’re looking at him, but you’re not paying attention. You’re focused on other things.
When you were just getting to know each other, you couldn’t get enough of gazing into his eyes. There were mysteries in his eyes that you were determined to solve.
But now you know him inside and out. There aren’t any more mysteries in his eyes. When you see him, all you need is a glance. You look AT him but not INTO him.
Take a moment to give your guy the gift of your full attention. It feels wonderful for a man when the woman he loves looks at him with a smile full of warmth and pleasure. It feels amazing for him to know that his presence lights up her face.
So, when you connect at the end of a busy day, don’t just glance at him and say hi. Stop what you’re doing, look into his eyes, and smile. Send warmth and love from your eyes into his.
Gift #2: Touch Messages
You send your guy a lot of text messages, but do you send him any touch messages?
I’m not talking about digital touch messages, but rather than old-fashioned kind:
A physical touch that communicates how you feel.
Long-term couples lose that obsessive craving for each other’s touch over time. Kisses become perfunctory. They only initiate touch when they’re in the mood for intimacy.
But touch is a powerful form of communication. It expresses what words cannot.
You can use touch to communicate pride in your guy, gratitude, appreciation, empathy, reassurance, and concern. You can use touch to remind him you’re thinking about him, you’re enjoying his company, and you’re feeling connected with him.
Experiment with telling your guy how you feel using touch instead of your words. Let your hands carry your feelings from your body to his.
Gift #3: The Present
Busy lives are hard on romance.
You never have any time. You’re always rushing.
It’s tough to carve out time to be together, when you’ve got so many chores to do and all you want is to sit on the sofa and veg.
But you don’t even need half an hour. All it takes is a moment.
When you’re with him, stop for a second. Breathe. Forget about everything else going on. Forget about telling him that thing you needed to tell him. Just be right here, right now.
When you come into the present moment with your guy, time stands still. You’re not worrying about what needs to get done. You’re not listening to the ticker-tape of thoughts scrolling through your mind. You’re just there, with him.
When you’re there in the present moment, you might want to smile at him with your eyes. You might want to reach out and touch him. That moment is enough to remember your love. It’s enough to remind him why he’s so lucky to have met you … and why he wants his life with you to last forever.