Some people just fascinate me.
Sometimes I’m not entirely sure why. But one of my goals is to live a truly interesting life. So when I meet someone who seems very interesting, I pay attention.
In trying to figure out what makes interesting people interesting. I’ve noticed a few things. I’m going to share four of them with you in this article. Consider this your guide to becoming a more interesting person.
But before we start, no one’s saying you’re not interesting enough right now. These are just some tips to make you more interesting. If you’re an introvert, these will also help you break out of your shell a bit.
- Interesting people share more.
Specifically, they tend to say the things the rest of us suppress. Things like: “Has that painting always been there?” Or, “I think Thursdays make me depressed.” Or even, “Is it just me, or does the boss tend to stare at Jenny more than the rest of us?”
The common element is that these comments shock others out of their routines. Admit it. These remarks are a lot more interesting than, “How are you?” or, “Just fine, thank you.”
Interesting people allow their curiosity and unique point of view to find its way to the surface while everyone else suppresses that stuff to try to fit in.
- Interesting people talk to others more.
As a result, they end up knowing more people. They also become repositories for all kinds of hilarious stories and inside information.
How do they do it?
Often, they just strike up random conversations with random people. I saw someone doing this at Starbucks recently. She started chatting with the person next to her at the condiment bar instead of stirring her coffee in silence. They were complete strangers, but soon they were exchanging stories and gathering information about each other.
You might feel like you simply can’t do that. Honestly, I’m not much of an extrovert, either. So if that’s your excuse, try the next tip.
- Interesting people try new things.
Sometimes it’s travel. Sometimes it’s volunteering at a soup kitchen or going to a soccer game. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it’s new to you.
New experiences naturally bring us into contact with new people. There will be questions to ask. Discoveries to make. And even if it doesn’t end up being your favorite new thing, you’ll still have new stories to tell. That means the next time you see a friend or when you show up to the office on Monday morning, you’ll be the person who had an interesting weekend!
- Interesting people invite more.
In other words, they don’t sit around waiting for someone else to invite them to a party, an event, a conversation, or anything else. Instead, if they want to do something, they do the inviting.
As a result, they often become the hub of activity. They are the ones hosting the party or convincing everyone to buy concert tickets for the same night. That puts them in the middle of the action. They are the instigators of interesting things.
Just to make sure you didn’t miss it before, I don’t offer these suggestions because you’re not interesting right now. You are! And if you’re an introvert, that’s totally okay.
But if you want to broaden your horizons, experiment with these tips. Following these suggestions will make it more likely that others will think of you and remark, “She’s such an interesting person!”
Always on your side,
James Bauer
I have a question about being a person that always is inviting others out. I want to do that! But since I’m the only childless, single person with no family around in my circle of friends, they’ll secretly think “ahh she’s lonely, needs people to hang out with” and take pity on me. I wouldn’t think that otherwise!! But sometimes I get the “I know you don’t have anyone” (not like that, but along those lines) when they invite me over for Christmas, etc. And I HATE being pitied for a life choice that has served me how I wanted it to!! But I really do like exploring new things and would love my friends to join me. How do I get over this fear of being pitied? Anything I could say to kind of squelch that “oh she’s lonely” thought process when I invite them?
That’s a great question. Hopefully, these thoughts will help.
Sometimes, we grow very self-conscious about one particular thing that is just a tiny aspect of who we are as a person. Because that one point of self awareness is a bit of a sore spot for us, we become sensitized to it and read into the thoughts, comments, and motivations of others, assuming that it’s a big deal to them as well.
Now, I’m not dismissing the fact that we live in a culture where being single is considered some sort of odd condition that needs to be remedied. So I don’t want you to feel that I am pretending like it doesn’t sometimes happen. However, I know that we all have this tendency to become hypersensitive about certain things. And that’s why I want you to start asking yourself a different question.
Instead of asking how you can prevent them from having thoughts about your singleness, ask a different question. Because the questions we ask ourselves determine much of the reality we experience in this life.
Maybe a new question is, “how can I live life to the fullest with my friends?” Do this with an acceptance that releases any need to control whether they have opinions about your single status or not.
This doesn’t fix the problem, it just fixes the focus of your thoughts. And oddly enough, that changes your experience of life. Because whatever we think about and focus on determines the reality we live with.
Always on your side,
James
I’ve been single for years and often either do things alone or am the catalyst that gets my friends and family to do more things. I am more of an adventurer/risk taker and instead of being the 3rd wheel, I have often found some are envious of us singles who are bold enough to take the initiative to do things. Rather than waiting on them to do the inviting during times that you may feel it’s more out of pity, take the lead and you may find that they wish they had your nerve and self-confidence! I eat alone, travel alone, etc. and I know many people who are too self-conscious to do that and have told me how brave I am and they wish they could do things like that, so despite your fears, they may be thinking quite the opposite. And it’s ok to tell them not to pity you. You are choosing to be single and are ok with that so accept it. Again, most people aren’t ok being single or standing on their own two feet, so rather than pity you, they may envy your strength!
Hi James loved the advice ,single parent in South Africa ,not so concerned with being called interesting as much as really wanting to have an interesting life on a shoe string budget …I have two teenage girls and just want them to have the best December holiday ever . Love your ideas
You are appreciated
My husband often says to me… I don’t understand how strangers tell you their life story? It’s great to talk to people that you do not know, and in doing so in a short and casual way, they gravitate towards you. It’s wonderful to get to know people even in a few minutes time, and you may never see them again
James,
Humbly I say… you’re right on!
Spot on! With these tips…
They ARE truth.
I know …bcuz I DO them.
Great affirmation.
Wonderfully, wildly & widely true.
YES! THINK ???? outside the routine box!;as you mentioned.
Did you know?… there are
Introverts, extroverts…& like me,
a third reference for this particular
subject, ambiverts?!… Look into
ambiverts, James, bcuz THAT
I found interesting too… & heard about ambiverts from a friend once upon a time … & could just tell instantly, “… Hey! That’s me!”
-????Great work, as always, James!
Blessings,
K~Mnyn????✨
Cool, I’ll look into that. I recently took a training course on an updated version of the Myers-Brigs type indicator and I think you would like what they’ve done. Instead of labeling you as an introvert or an extrovert, they break it down into different situations where you may have a mix of different traits showing. I wonder if that’s in line with the ambivert term you shared.
I love the sound , but sensible yet fun advice on your website, and did subscribe for a while and found the articles really helpful especially when dating the friend who became my husband in March 14th 2017.
Many many thanks
Caroline
Wow! Congratulations, Caroline!!!
Be someone who is enthusiastic about everything,and even in the quiet moments feel deeply,focus on all the possibilities, and look out for the interest of others,and be in the moment,and you will always have stories to tell!
Thank you. I have been struggling with life in the last twelve months so your article was a refreshing reminder of the woman I used to be. I always used to think of life as an adventure, therefore throwing myself into as many new experiences as I could and taking advantage of any opportunities that came my way. I have always (until recently) been like this. I think this, as well as my outgoing personality and positive nature made me a very interesting person to be around. I can relate to your article where I used to be the person everyone was chasing as they knew I’d be doing something interesting and fun, even if it just happened to be going to a playground or climbing a tree. My circle of friends at the time started calling me ‘rent a crowd’ as I was constantly invited to gatherings being told to bring my friends as they knew I would have a flock of other interesting, no trouble people in tow. I now have to work on waking up every day again feeling appreciative for all the good things I have in my life and grabbing life with both hands so I can get back to being that interesting person again.
James, thanks for your fresh incite and curiosity in trying to help people who struggle to feel like they belong or to feel like they are interesting. I work work with a girl who everyone finds interesting and refreshing. She doesn’t have as much responsibility as I do but she is great with talking to the patients and making them feel like family, I guess. I am more professional and want the patients to complete the physical therapy and I am very nice. I can sense people somewhat dislike me because there is a stark contrast between my interaction and hers. I feel inferior and unable to find the balance. I am trying to be myself and take into consideration all of your tips. Any other thoughts I am open to suggestion.
I would advise not to compare yourself so much to her. You are doing a good job too! Like James said here, not everyone is an extrovert, and being an extrovert myself I can say that, not everyone enjoys an extrovert either. Lol
Just try to be more aware of your own internal thoughts. Practice it as often as possible. Once you’re more mindful of your thoughts, if you feel the urge to, just say them aloud… you don’t need to direct them at any particular person either. I talk to myself constantly… many conversations with strangers have started that way actually haha! if you feel like your trying hard to find something funny or interesting to say it may come off as unauthentic to someone else. Even if it doesn’t, you may feel that way yourself and get embarrassed. So my advice is to practice being mindful of your thoughts every day and when you have a funny comment or an interesting thought say it aloud… just see what happens.
I am so happy, about all these relationship tips because it was very hard for me to, to have a long lasting relationship, but i would put the blame on myself because i didi not date the person long enough…to get to know them well before heading into a relationship, i am thank full for this training, so before i go into a other relationship i will know what to do.
James, that is great. On the contrary, with the trend of happenings in the world today, one can be interesting but in order not to attract the wrong people into one’s life, its better to pretend not to be interesting.
Thank u James,,these words really put a smile on my face…especially the part u mention, its better to pretend not to be interesting.