Men are scared.

And they think the only people who can understand are other men.

If women knew how they really felt about dating, they’d never get another date.

A woman being pursued doesn’t want to know that her charming love interest is secretly filled with doubts, unsure she likes him, and hesitant to make the next move.

She wants a confident and fearless suitor who can sweep her off her feet.

So guys try to live up to what they think is expected of them.

They act as if nothing bothers them.

But you can tell something is off.

Something about his behavior is confusing.

Chances are, he’s acting out of fear. He’s trying to keep himself from getting hurt but messing everything up in the process.

That’s why I think it’s so important that you understand what men are afraid of in dating.

Even if you’d never lie to him or leave him, his heart is urging caution.

He know how badly love can hurt. He wants to stay safe, so he holds part of himself back.

Do you know what unspoken fears lie in your guy’s heart?

Here are 8 of men’s deepest, darkest fears…

Fear #1: Getting His Heart Broken

Men’s biggest dating fear by far is getting their heart broken.

Most men have been in love before. They know how it goes.

There are only two possible outcomes: either by some miracle it works out and they end up married… or they break up. And the good money is on a breakup.

If someone’s going to end up hurt at the end of this, why try at all?

Fear #2: She Loses Interest

Many men have been in relationships where their partner abruptly broke things off.

It’s one thing if they knew the reason.

What really hurt was not knowing why she broke it off.

So they try to think of possible explanations.

Maybe she was never all that into him in the first place. Maybe she came to like him less and less the more she got to know him. Maybe she realized he wasn’t all that great and she could do better.

These self-doubts make it hard for men to put themselves back out there.

Fear #3: It Wasn’t Love

Some men worry that their relationship was a farce.

She was only with him for superficial reasons. She didn’t actually like him for who he was. She just liked the benefits of having a boyfriend.

These men want to know their partner’s feelings are real.

Fear #4: Can’t Find Anyone

Three in four American singles find it hard to meet anyone to date.^[1]

It’s hard to approach people. It’s even harder to find someone who wants what you want and meets your expectations.

But men also have a secret fear:

They fear they’re not attractive.

We tend to think that women are the ones who worry about their appearance. But many men despair of ever finding a woman who thinks they’re worth wanting.

They can meet plenty of women who think they’re nice people. That’s not what they want.

They want to be desired. They want to be seen as someone special and worth loving.

Fear #5: Not Worth Her Time

Low self-esteem is a huge handicap for guys.

They feel that confidence is even more important for them than for women. Without confidence, a guy doesn’t have a hope. He’s got to believe in himself enough to make a move.

But some men struggle with feeling worthless. They can’t understand why a woman would want to be in a relationship with them.

Fear #6: Can’t Jump The Gap

“The Gap” is that difficult transition from dating to becoming official.

Jumping the Gap tends to be the man’s responsibility. It’s his job to ask her if she’d like to be his girlfriend.

Many guys are terrified of having that conversation.

What if they wreck it because they didn’t read the situation right?How soon is too soon? What if she only wanted something casual?

Fear #7: He Loses Interest

The “Fade” is when those raw, intensely passionate feelings fade to boredom.

Men worry about the Fade for reasons you might not expect. Many men want to stay in love forever. They want to know that their feelings will stay strong if they get married.

But things change. People change.

What if they stop feeling attracted to their partner, or realize they’re no longer compatible, only to find themselves stuck in a marriage they can’t get out of?

Fear #8: Trusting Someone He Shouldn’t Have Trusted

This is one of the most difficult fears men have.

They don’t want to be cheated on. They don’t want to be lied to. They don’t want to be manipulated and used.

They don’t want their vulnerabilities used against them. They don’t want to open up to someone and let them in, only to end up hurt and betrayed.

And I bet there’s part of you that can empathize.

We’re all scared at times in love.

But those fears don’t have to hold us back.

The best thing you can do is talk about it. Create a safe space where you can talk about the very real fear that your relationship won’t work out.

It won’t hurt your relationship to admit you’re both afraid. It may just bring you closer than ever.

[1] https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/08/20/key-takeaways-on-americans-views-of-and-experiences-with-dating-and-relationships/