James Bauer’s Texting Tip of the Week
“I can’t stop reading [book]. What have you been reading lately?”
He’ll appreciate your willingness to have an intelligent conversation, and he’ll get a window into your interests.
Home > Relationship Texts > Give him a glimpse into your interests with this tip.
I can’t get him to be interested in me again. He doesn’t laugh or smile with me anymore, every time I try talking or ask him a question it seems that I hit a nerve he starts an argument. I don’t know him anymore. I feel his interest is with someone else after we have been together 4 years. I love him truly and I’m faithful to him. What do I do?
I can sense your pain and confusion, and I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. It’s tough when the person we love seems to be drifting away. Here are some principles we might want to consider as you consider your options and next steps:
First, remember that emotions run the show. When we are grumpy, it impacts the way we hear things and it impacts how we react.
Second principle: Emotional tone shifts gradually, not suddenly. If you’re grumpy, a joke will fall flat. But if a conversation starts with venting, then gradually shifts toward neutral, and then a funny thought makes him chuckle, and then you ask if he wants anything special for dinner, he’s more likely to respond with a bit less attitude and a bit more gratitude.
Remember, everyone has their ups and downs. It’s possible he’s going through a tough time himself and not fully admitting it to himself or to you. And every relationship has its ups and downs too. So don’t panic.
Instead, focus on meeting him where he’s at, giving him tiny opportunities to open up (without any pressure or intensity of focus on it).
And later, if you feel he’s ready (as in, his emotional tone is right for it), we can discuss other options like asking him for help. Remember, guys don’t like conversations that seem to imply they are failing at being a good partner. But we do like it when someone asks us for help, even if it’s help with brining back some playfulness to the relationship.
Hopefully some of my thoughts above spark ideas as you consider the various options you have and then choose the smallest next step you can focus on first.
Always on your side,
James
I don’t use any social media, how do I make him regret losing me ?
Hi La
Don’t have any contact with him for awhile just when start missing you he will call to check to see if you are okay, but if he had someone else before y’all break up he may not call you until they start having problems and you wouldn’t want him back than because it’ll be just a chick on the side for awhile. I hope everything works out for you.