It makes you want to tear your hair out.
You have no CLUE whether he wants a future with you.
Sure, you have fun together. Sure, you see each other regularly. Sure, you have an emotional connection.
But it’s not enough.
Because he hasn’t said a word about what it all means.
You don’t know if he’s just enjoying himself or secretly planning your future together.
He hasn’t asked you to move in. He hasn’t said he can’t live without you. And his feelings about marriage are ambivalent, to say the least.
You don’t want to waste time with someone who’s just playing around.
You want to be with someone who’s as emotionally invested in you as you are in them.
So is this guy the real deal?
Even though he’s said NOTHING about his true feelings, can you assume he’s committed to you and only you?
These 5 signs will help you find out.
Sign #1. He Remembers
If you’re just passing through, he’s not going to set aside a lot of space in his brain for you.
He won’t remember the names of your parents. He won’t remember the town where you grew up. He won’t remember who all your friends are.
A man who thinks he might have a future with you will want to remember those things.
He might meet your parents someday, after all. He wants to impress your friends, and he can’t do that if he forgets who they are.
So pay attention to how much he remembers about the little details of your life.
Sign #2. He Thinks about How You Feel
If a man just wants to have fun, all he cares about is whether HE is having a good time.
His priority is himself. He fits you in where you’re convenient.
He says or does things that are insensitive. He claims it’s not his fault if you get upset.
What he really wants is a girlfriend without any feelings. That way, they can just have fun, and he doesn’t get burdened with anything difficult.
A man who wants a future with you isn’t like that.
He cares about you. He thinks about how something will make you feel before he does it. He accepts the fact that your lives are linked. What he says and does has an impact on you. If it hurts you, he wants to make it right.
Sign #3. He Comes Over When You’re Sick
When you’re in the early days of dating someone, you don’t want him to see you sick.
Your nose is running, you’ve been in bed all day, and you don’t feel your best. Plus, you might be contagious, and you don’t want to get anyone else sick.
It’s a really vulnerable space to be in.
Which is why it feels so good when a man just doesn’t care.
He wants to look after you. He wants to be the knight in shining armor who swoops in with cold medicine and chicken soup.
He doesn’t care if he gets your germs. He doesn’t care if you haven’t brushed your hair or put on makeup.
He just cares about helping you feel better.
That’s a man who’s already falling for you.
Sign #4. He Doesn’t Run Away When You’re Upset
For some guys, a woman’s tears are a red flag.
They can’t get away fast enough. They promise to call later, hoping she’ll have herself back together by then.
They don’t want to deal with the messiness of emotions. That’s girl stuff.
But a man who’s secretly committed to you feels differently.
Sure, maybe he doesn’t like tears any more than the next guy, but he’s willing to overcome his discomfort so that he can be there for you.
He doesn’t want you to go find someone else’s shoulder to cry on. He wants to be the one you come to when you’re sad.
So he pushes himself to listen, to understand, and to be what you need in that moment.
That’s the sign of a good man.
Sign #5. He Assumes You’ll Spend Holidays Together
Holidays are tricky for a new couple.
There might be gifts required. There may be family involved. Which means deciding how you’ll introduce one another, and facing the once-over by overprotective parents.
It’s all too much for a man who doesn’t have much interest in a future with you. He doesn’t want you to “get the wrong idea.”
So if a holiday is coming up, and he hasn’t discussed it with you, and he’s mentioned he has other plans, that’s a sign he’s not invested in your relationship yet.
A man who wants a future with you will want to get started right away.
Holidays are an opportunity to start building memories. He’d be lonely if you weren’t there with him. You’re the best part of his life. Why would he exclude you?
If your guy is demonstrating most of these signs, then don’t worry so much about the fact that you haven’t talked formally about the future. He’s showing through his actions what he’s unable to put into words. He’s committed, and your future is bright.