How do you know if he’s the one?
Hint: the answer is NOT to take a 15-second TikTok challenge.
Relationship tests have sprung up across social media, promising a window into your future as a couple.
If your guy passes the test, then your relationship gets a vote of confidence.
If he doesn’t pass, there might be trouble ahead.
Like most trends on TikTok, the silliness is the point. No one is taking these tests too seriously.
At least, they shouldn’t be.
But these tests wouldn’t be so popular if they didn’t contain a grain of truth.
Let’s look at 5 TikTok relationship tests and find out what, if anything, we can learn from them.
1. The Husband Test #HusbandTest
The test:
“Accidentally” call your boyfriend your husband in front of a group of people and see how he reacts.
He passes if:
He smiles.
He fails if:
He looks disgusted.
Why it’s supposed to work:
This test is supposed to reveal how your boyfriend feels about the idea of being married to you.
At first glance, it looks like it might work. If he’s horrified at being accidentally called your husband, surely that must mean he has something against the idea of marrying you.
But this test is a dud.
Many guys respond with confusion. Others think it’s a joke, and their reaction indicates whether they think the joke is funny or not.
2. Orange Peel Theory #OrangePeelTheory
The test:
Ask your partner to do something small for you that you could easily do yourself, like peel an orange.
He passes if:
He does it happily.
He fails if:
He refuses or does it begrudgingly.
Why it’s supposed to work:
This test is supposed to reveal whether your guy will happily perform small acts of service.
If he won’t even peel an orange for you, the thinking goes, you won’t be able to rely on him for larger things.
But this test doesn’t definitively prove a man’s willingness to help you. He may hate peeling oranges. He might think it’s strange you’re asking him to do this.
Instead, pay attention to the overall pattern in your relationship.
Does he do little things for you that show he cares? Maybe he brings you coffee. Maybe he de-ices your windshield before work. These acts show his willingness to be of service.
3. The Bird Test #BirdTest
The test:
Point out a bird and see how your boyfriend responds.
He passes if:
He stops what he’s doing and looks where you’re pointing.
He fails if:
He ignores you.
Why it’s supposed to work:
This theory is supposed to reveal whether your partner will turn towards your bids for connection.
Think about all the times you interrupt your partner to show him something or ask a question. Dr. John Gottman calls those bids for connection. You’re asking your partner to pay attention to you.
Gottman found that happy couples respond by giving each other their attention about 80% of the time.
Unhappy couples pay attention to each other’s bids only 33% of the time.
Clearly, it’s no cause for alarm if your partner won’t pay attention to the bird you’re pointing at.
But if your partner rarely responds when you try to get his attention, that’s worth exploring.
4. The David Beckham Test #BeckhamChallenge
The test:
Start dancing in a random place, like the kitchen, and see how your boyfriend responds.
He passes if:
He joins in and starts dancing with you.
He fails if:
He rolls his eyes at you.
Why it’s supposed to work:
This test is supposed to reveal whether your partner can be playful with you.
It’s based on a moment in the Beckham docuseries on Netflix, in which soccer star David Beckham and his wife Victoria dance around each other.
Relationships thrive when couples make time for play and silliness. Spontaneously dancing is an invitation to play.
Of course, there are many forms of play. Maybe he won’t dance with you, but he’ll tickle you or tease you.
The results of this particular test are less important than the overall pattern of fun and spontaneity in your relationship.
5. The Tiny Portion Test #TinyPortion
The test:
At dinner, serve yourself a tiny portion of food. Serve your boyfriend a large portion. See how he responds.
He passes if:
He insists on sharing his food with you.
He fails if:
He eats his entire portion without sharing.
Why it’s supposed to work:
This test is supposed to reveal whether your boyfriend cares about fairness and equity in your relationship.
At first glance, the test seems to have merit. Does he notice when he gets more than you do? Does he try to rectify the imbalance?
But there are a number of reasons he may not comment. Maybe you normally eat less than him. Maybe he thinks you’re on a diet. Maybe he assumes you’re not hungry.
Again, the results of this particular test are less important than the overall pattern of fairness in your relationship. Does your boyfriend usually want things to be fair? If so, you’re good.
TikTok relationship challenges are fun, but they’re for entertainment purposes only.
If you feel the need to test your relationship, don’t turn to TikTok. Instead, talk to him about it. Communication is one relationship tip that never grows old.
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