James, I am blessed beyond distress! I have an entire army of armoured troops standing with me, and in front of me when the storms come. I’ve been with the same loving man for 51 years; we were married at 19 and 25. We’ve had some rough spots but never ANYTHING we can’t handle as a team…he’s “my person.” 

I do enjoy your group and posts. It has helped me further develop my marital relationship.

Love and blessings,

Martha 🌺

Dear James,

This is the first time I have replied to one of your outstanding emails.  Your insights and advice have literally saved my one-year relationship from going down in ruins as so many in my past have done.  I join the chorus of voices who praise your talents.  

I almost destroyed what I have by going through exactly what you describe in Destructive Abundance.  When he first called me, I was over-the-moon thrilled.  A month later when I accused him of not calling often enough, the self-sabotage began.

Learning about Anxious Attachment and your steady stream of coaching emails changed my expectations.  I took responsibility for my fears.  Now we are growing in love – healthy love.  Thank you for helping me.  By the way, we are both 80 years old, so old patterns can emerge no matter what age you are.  You don’t just grow out of old fears; you learn to take on the challenges of changing self – not your partner.

In closing, I sold my house today.  I was disappointed I didn’t get more money even though I made a large profit on the sale.  I expressed this to my partner and he encouraged me to be content with what transpired and feel free now to enjoy our future together.  Amazing what a change in perspective can do!

Always appreciative,

Linda

Hi James,

I purchased your course yesterday and got to module 6 last night. Just from the introduction video I could see what I had done to make a male friend (whom I would like to be more than a friend) pull away from me. How I had switched off his hero instinct by being too independent and not allowing him to win with me. Situations where he was almost pleading to let him help me and I didn’t let him.

I sent him a message last night using some of the things you’d mentioned, just telling him I really appreciated him and everything he’s done for me, and that I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.. in whatever capacity he chooses that to be.

I am amazed at the increase in frequency of messages and replies from him, maybe it’s not too broken to fix.. you have given me hope and that’s something that’s been very short in my life over the last few years. I’m going to continue the course later when I finish work.. a lot of these things I did automatically when he and I became friends but I allowed my emotions and insecurities to change that.

I’m looking forward to learning more but just wanted to tell you what’s happened so far. Your little section where you explain depression has also helped me hugely, by not allowing myself hope I have been making my depression so much worse!! You changed that yesterday.. thank you.

Many thanks,

Lorna