I have learnt from James that a man values respect above all else; even sex. My hubby withdrew from me for very long, sex died and he started an affair with a woman 10 years younger than me. I ignored him; I had to learn that love cannot withstand indifference for long. At least the affair stopped when I started paying attention to his needs (really listening to him without interrupting and filling in his conversation). I learnt that sometimes just listening actively is enough without even saying a word. I learnt to put my needs first, giving him space without insisting that I know wherever he went (stopped being needy)! Started having my own time and paying attention to myself. I started asking for a date and not waiting to be taken out and even if he does not want to I would spend time with my friends and let him know. Now I understand why my hubby has pulled away from me and how to get him back, how to put the spice back. I have learnt that I can help him to communicate from his heart and talk more. We went away for 5 days and we talked for hour and the sex was the most fantastic in over 6 years! We continue to talk and complement each other, stress level has come down, he is more vibrant. Happy Jane