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Hi. I have to say in my opinion, the big question here isn’t is he gay…. It’s why have you held out hope for ten years here? And why if he is gay or not do you think this will alter your predicament? He has no intentions towards you sister….sorry to say, but it looks like you are holding out hope for ever more, hence why if he is gay it is so crushing, as it brings this hope and fantasy to an end.
In this time, hows your love life been hun?Oh dear this sounds messy…..sounds like you have gotten used to the company, without an actual relationship, living together etc…..and now you don’t have anyone and he’s actively looking- you are jealous? What you need to consider is this:
Is this about what you are used to, or something you want to passionately pursue? Are you physically attracted to him? So you want him to be your man? If the answers aren’t yes, you need to get yourself out there and find someone else- like he’s doing.Hi…..please please don’t stay in this toxic relationship! No he will not change, he is nice to you on occasions and then reverts back to a total arsehole- he does not meet your needs and from what you are describing he will not change, doesn’t see he should and will absolutely be incapable of it. Families break up- its how you manage it that is important – you are the example to your children of how a marriage or significant relationship should be…..do you want them to learn this is the life they should look for when older? Because they will learn it from you and him. Cut loose!
Not great!his ex is sniffing round and we,are in a LDR. He tells he isn’t interested, but since we split and got back together he is clearly telling me we r starting again and building it slowly, and I noticed last night he was on fb messenger as active till three in the morning…..i had very little contact through the evening- only when I initiated it to say goodnight.
Hi there. If u have set three months and he’s aware of this, leave it as it is- but be aware he may date and meet someone else in the meantime. If you get the chase to keep him drawn to you, do so, then give him some opportunities to bring the date forward, not u.
Thank you so much. I didn’t text and he text me food morning wishing me a good day. Then I didn’t text and he text ‘i love you’ which he hasn’t text die a while. We then had some lovely texts fitted a while today so it certainly worked x
To what end? I don’t understand what game you are playing here or how it can work out for you.
Sounds to me like he’s a total arse who isn’t happy in his marriage and is looking for anyone. You seem to really enjoy his attention….but know you cant do anything about it.
I don’t know what the point in ‘torturing’ him by looking nice will achieve….it seems you want his attention back onto you, were you cant do anything more with it now than before.Oh my my word. This can only end badly alright! What’s the end plan here? Affair? Long term relationship that ends both your marriage’s? These are your only choices is you start something with him…..irrespective of your current situation. Your choices are only these two I’m afraid
Yep Ellen is right. I feel your first message was about having a game plan in regard to coming out on top – what did you mean if you are looking at this just as conversation? My assumption was you want more when he’s ready?
Ok, so maybe I’m way off here…but honestly, from what u have said he says; hr isn’t ready, doesn’t want a relationship, doesn’t want it with you etc etc and you sound absolutely like you would eagerly have a relationship with him. This isn’t an even playing field. Your feels and heart are very much at risk here sister, while he has his cake and eats it. You like him more than he reciprocates, and you would put your heart at risk for your relationship with him- he clearly won’t.
The most you can hope for is he rubs his eyes one day and sees your worth and falls for you.
If you can bear it, I’d date others and find someone elseHi. What I would say the first thing that’s jumped into my head- don’t be the stepping stone that helps him end a relationship and end up being the transition woman- and you don’t end up with Him …. Instead he ended up with the next girl who isn’t part of this now
God’s truth never guides me. I think living in the now is an amazing thing to master- well done, that isn’t easy- but absolutely worth while- I haven’t master it yet.
I understand what you are saying about starting again etc- my point was really around the original question, which discussed a man having a relationship with some whilst relaying being unsure if he wanted back into his marriage- long term relationship.
All the best to your attempt though, stay positive and focused
Guys, I really think it’s as simple as this: if they date other women, they are not investing in their relationship with you any more. how could they be? they are easing themselves out of being with you in a way that doesn’t hurt them or affects them the least. you have been replaced, but they l I keep you contacting them still as it massages their ego and means they don’t have to feel any hurt or missing that might occur for them….This is all about them! not you!
What kind of person dates someone else then tells their long term love he’s gonna keep doing it, yet lead the lover to believe there still may be a chance? A selfish lower! that’s who! stop fooling yourself- their aim is to make it as easy on their heart as possible. I think I understand why someone would go out with someone else at the split of a relationship- looking for an ego boost, maybe hoping to forget the person they have split from etc…..However, it should become clear really quickly to them that they still are caught up and in love with the person they have split with- to continue to see the new person is called moving on I’m afraid! and they are being selfish with dangling their ex like this.Well it depends on how strong you are feeling! If you feel in a strong place right now, you could play it cool and say something like ‘hiya! hey, I’ll leave it in your hands. sleep well’ etc keeping it light, friendly and not laying on guilt or expectation, plus short to show him u aren’t gonna indulge in long texts and convos as u tried that and he backed off x
What a twat he is! its so hard’ women really do put their all into a relationship, and hurt hard when something like this happens. I’m really sorry this has happened and u r hurting badly right now….It will get better, u know this.
I honestly think the best way to be with blokes is to hold them at arms length! when u r not emotionally invested they chase like mad!
