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UV done well thus far in regard to holding back texts etc. If u can bear it, let him contact u next as sent the last message, although if his message was chatty and ur reply was one words he may feel u gave him the cold shoulder! Maybe if u think that could be the case, a little text tomorrow with something light like maybe a funny instance involving u that would make him smile- make something up if needed, like ‘ happy Tuesday! Having just stumbled off the curb practically into oncoming traffic, I figure the day can only get better!’ Then see if he responds. If he doesn’t- there’s ur answer and u have maintained ur dignity, then u leave it totally. If he responds take it from there x
Hi. Have u heard anything more from him? If u were the last to text, I would leave him to contact u. Its hard! But he may have pulled back as if u have been texting every night, that is pretty full on if u haven’t met yet, even if u r old acquaintances! Let him slow down if he wants, keep it light if he,contacts u, like its no biggy, and slow down responding when he does text- texting can move things forward so quickly! Too much so in my opinion – getting into conversations u wouldn’t get into in normal dating!
He very likely does love u, and that is different to being in love with u. What r u trying in regard to the lessons on here?
Hi- I think janines advice is spit on in regard to having time alone and finding out what makes u happy. Sounds like your relationship was pretty intense and not in a good way – fighting and fears etc….when I’ve been in that type of relationship, u don’t realise how quickly the worst outweighs the good….and u find yourself fighting for something that was toxic, because you feel out of control due your emotional reactions at that stage in the relationship. Maybe this is what he is trying to avoid having again?
Hi- I wonder if u need to check this out more in regard to where he is at? Sounds like u r aware ur attraction for him maybe about your working relationship …. Is he with someone? In chit chat I wonder if you might put something in to see if he bites- something like ‘i cant be too worn out today as I have a date tonight! Haven’t been on one for ages!’ And just see what his reaction is? What his interest in it is? Maybe throw in fishing for advise whilst making him feel good, like ‘so come on then- its been a while for me! What,goes through a guys head? U must get plenty of offers!’ Etc
Umm. This doesn’t sound like the relationship will alter to me, from what you have relayed…..what does he think about your statement regarding withdrawing from his life should he date?
Hi. How many years? Wow! That is some staying power! Do you think it likely he is going to gamble your obvious amazing friendship for something different with you? What are you doing to get yourself out there with other guys? When was your last relationship? How is he when u date guys?
Totally ego driven and wanting to gauge your response- like he’s stating to you ‘see, I’m attractive to women’- self statement to make himself feel good- self affirming and self validating, possibly because he is feeling insecure too, who knows. Whatever the reason, I would respond with a little flattery- ‘well I cant blame her- you’re a gorgeous fella!’ Etc. If it becomes a running theme however, you may need to take a,different tact- let us,know!x
Sweetheart it is really hard reading your posts because this is a man who will never treat you the way you need! You will not rid yourself of these awful feelings this ‘relationship’ is stirring unless you get rid of him! He is being very cruel not finishing this with you, he is,enjoying your attention and begging behaviours, which is horrid of him. You have to try and claw back some dignity here, don’t contact him again!x
You have done nothing wrong at,all. Some men are simply bags of crap, this is one of them. I would encourage you to look at soothing yourself here, writing is,a great way- write all the amazing qualities you have, write about what you deserve- that can be very different to how you feel at the time- then focus on that
Hi,
Firstly I would say you haven’t ‘messed up’, you have shown your feelings in a very emotional way, men can find this difficult but rather than believe you have messed up, I would say you had an intense emotional outpour which his reaction seems to be to be pulling away, with you unable to understand why and he offering no explanation.
My best advice here if you can bear it, is do nothing for a while. I know that is ridiculously hard, but at this point if you approach him with growing emotional reactions he will continue to pull back. If you can’t bear to do nothing at all, then try and keep what u say or text etc warm and matter of fact. For example, you may consider something like ‘hi, I am finding this,difficult and you probably know that from my reactions. That’s for me to deal with though, my responsibility. I know you have a lot on your plate right now, and its important you have the space you need, and I would like you to know I am here for you’. Then leave it. Really leave it if you can! You would have taken back the emotional outpouring to you, bot left it with him, shown consideration of hin with this plus acknowledged by using the word important and him together That you see it as such. If he continues to back off, it likely has reached its end sad as that sounds. The most important message here is :how you have handled it isn’t working! Stop doing it! X
