[Rebecca A]

hi. These men are so utterly self absorbed and useless in this area! I’m in the same situation right now….The move forward to you once more, then when u connect with them and they feel secured by what you relay, they be kept off once more to have their ‘space’ they so desperately harp on about. …They give a little so you feel better, then don’t sustain it once they have assurance you are going to be there come what may.

We are then left feeling anxious and preoccupied, looking at our phones, re reading texts….seeing if there’s hidden meaning etc….when what we really need to do is put our phones away, make lists of things we are going to focus on that day and do so! Get ourselves to a place where we can rationally think: If I feel like this, then he does too irrespective of whether I am hearing from him. I am not going to assume.
let me know if u hear from him x

[Rebecca A]

hi- any up date? just seem this and it was a while ago…

[Rebecca A]

There is a lot more within the text then the colour of my eyes chrissy, that was asked due to the other impression I have gotten lately. …

[Rebecca A]

Chrissy- you make some very good points there ….

[Rebecca A]

hi Jane. To be honest, there transpires several other things that leave me feeling unhappy and not valued. I think this guy is pretty self centred and selfish- I did some voluntary work this weekend abroad, told him I felt apprehensive about it etc and he didn’t ask why or anything; just text back ‘ull be awesome’ lazy arse answer, we continue to have difficulty over the past few weeks, I had a health issue and he text ‘thinking of u’…. Been together eight month’s- I have a very different way of loving someone, and this leaves me feeling so disappointment and unappreciated- can’t See any milage in it further now. All over bar the shouting. …

[Rebecca A]

hi. If you’ve text and rung, and he’s on tindr I think You maybe are done? If you can bear it, don’t contact him again now. you’ve done it, he’s choosing not to call or text back….you will kick yourself if you keep doing it and he isn’t reciprocation. ….The ball is in his court here so let him play it as he likes.

[Rebecca A]

Thanks Naomi. I personally think it’s too much- I haven’t met her even. In any case, oddly enough I ended up agreeing and she has subsequently relayed there is no way she is going as I’m going to be there which she ‘would find too odd”.

[Rebecca A]

Hi. Oh dear, yep you moved too quickly with the sleeping together thing I think here!
The thing is it sounds like you have been on a website, possibly for the first time? And this has come out of it? If that is the case, although your feelings are strong, get back on the website yourself and flirt/enjoy some fun! Your feelings for him are strong, but in my opinion this is only because of the quickness it developed- meeting once and texting etc all happens so quickly these days with this type dating- I don’t think your feelings are real and you will get over them fairly quickly if you go on a few more dates for fun and are more careful and reserved. If this guy comes back then keep him at a distance, and make him work a little

[Rebecca A]

All i can say here is what a friend of mine did. She literally said she wouldn’t wait around for him to decide if he wanted her or not, said she loved him and nothing had changed for her, and she is hurting badly, but she doesn’t own him and he needs to make his own mind up. Then she gave him space. They continued to struggle for a bit, not mu have contact and none initiated by her, and she was careful not to text back too quickly if he contacted her etc. They are now moving towards getting back to where they were.
I get that you might be anxious that if you give him space he’ll get used to being without you, but he won’t stay with you if he doesn’t want to by the sounds of it and if he wants to be with you, he will miss you and you will know it

[Rebecca A]

Just to update you Mae, after agreeing to be part of the trip, he only then told his ex wife I would be going. By l accounts she has now said no to the plan as she hadnt realised I was going, even said to him will he and I still be together then! Said going with me would be too weird! I don’t know what to make of this as he put it to me she would support him with this cos of the kids, if that,was the case me going wouldn’t have made any odds !

[Rebecca A]

Hi. Thanks so much for reply- fantastic advice. We have had a lot of discussion following on from my post, and he has been very honest in regard to wanting me with him alone for the amazing experience of new York together- we live in the UK, and having me and his kids there when he is running. As I won’t know his kids well and and there will be thousands of people, he is very anxious about this. He adnmits he’s being selfish, but also discussed this is a very unique situation, he doesn’t do’ family holidays’ etc and understands why I feel so do. Given this, on this occasion I have agreed to his request. We will see….

[Rebecca A]

Hi. You don’t say how long this has gone on for – r were talking days or weeks?

[Rebecca A]

Hi- when I start a new relationship I never text first. He’ll text u, don’t worry! He knows ur there! Men don’t forget, let him wonder about u…..dont come across like ur checking in or checking how he’s feeling about u…he’ll cone to u

[Rebecca A]

Hi- don’t text again now hun. He still may text back- but leave it I possible and see if he gets back to u x

[Rebecca A]

Have u heard anything more?

[Author]

Posts