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Thanks for your encouragement, Heidi! Yes, life is never dull and a sense of humor is a necessity! I had a metal on metal hip replacement and it poisoned me and did permanent damage to the muscles that hold my hip in place. So I have revisions to keep me walking. And I hope we get to make love too! LOL
Also, I almost forgot to tell you, the “Sweat Licker” is coming to Grand Opening and playing in the open mic music contest. He has a half hour slot in the morning and was going to stay several hours to join in the festivities. I finally told him he could come play, he’s an excellent jazz guitarist, but please not to stay all day as it would make me feel uncomfortable if he just hangs around for hours. He was, of course, offended, but I felt like he was almost stalking me to try and win me back. My business partner is going to field it while he plays to make sure he stays appropriate, lol!
Heidi,
BTW, because of my newest demeanor, I’ve had guys swamp my doorstep helping me around the house, talking to me about anything and everything, hitting on me at the Boogie, finding me cigarettes there when I ran out, and I’m just smiling and enjoying the attention without giving anything weird back since I’m “attached” to my guy. It’s kinda fun to have all the attention by just “Being” and smiling and laughing. What fun is that! At one point I asked one of the security guys at the concert if he had a cigarette, but he was out. Pretty soon he wanders around the crowd, and comes up to me with a cigarette in his hand and gives it to me with a sweet smile. He looked like a hardass biker dude. I just smiled and thanked him. The tattoo artist talked to me for quite a little while. I almost got a tattoo on the spot but it’s going to take awhile to put my design together and put it on. It’s an intricate design. Otherwise, I could’ve gotten it right there! So excited about that too!! Life is good, and fun, and exciting until Wednesday surgery.Heidi,
Here’s the latest update! I ended up going to the (Motorcycle) Boogie with another friend and had a blast! Nothing too wild and crazy, just a good time. My guy was going to go with his buddies and wanted to go on his own.This was the big event he wanted so badly to go to and now he may not be able to due to other circumstances. So we’ll see what happens the rest of the weekend! I have our store Grand Opening Saturday (tomorrow) and am busy getting that ready! So with my upcoming hip revision surgery (#5), I texted him yesterday and went out on a limb. I told him we were always open and honest and I had a favor to ask. Then I asked if he would make love to me before the surgery. He asked when surgery is I told him, and I let it be. We’ll see what he does, LOL! I have no idea, but am guessing he’ll go for it! Otherwise it’s going to be awhile. I guess I’ll find out out if I overstepped my bounds or not! I doubt it will have any negative repercussions but will keep you posted.Hi Heidi,
Thanks for asking. I waited to answer until I had a better feel for everything. It’s going amazingly well with my new guy. We still spend time together, have been establishing boundaries, and enjoying each others company. We’ve talked about where we are, are taking it slow and easy, but are exclusive. Not quite ready for a “full blown” relationship but having a great time getting to know each other. It’s really fun to be in a slow, easy relationship where we just explore and talk about anything and everything, including where we are with each other. We finally, last weekend, had some big talks about all of this and came out on the same page. I’ve been very free about letting him do his own thing, even with his buddies. Told him as long as there’s no cheating going on I don’t really care what he does to let his hair down and enjoy time with his friends. I think I surprised him, but I also told him, after our discussion, that I trust him. Neither of us are cheaters, nor do we put up with it. Good to clarify that! I’ve taken a “back seat” role and let him pursue me for the most part, but I also am clear on the fact that I want to be with him, then I back up and wait, and he always comes through. I think it’s important to let him be who he is and get the same in return. Neither of us are interested in marriage, and I think that surprised him when I said that. My reason is financial, his is personal past reasons. As far as I’m concerned, if we keep going in this direction, we will be in a nice comfy relationship for a very long time. I’m patient with his holding back and just give him space when he needs it. Then we always have good time together. When we have time apart and then come together, always at his invitation, it’s like he’s hungry to be with me. He’s well worth the wait and is letting me in a little at a time. He did tell me he can’t believe he’s let me in this much. I simply thanked him! We’re in our eighth week and it’s exciting to have such a wonderful man in my life after all I’ve put up with in the pat. All I can say is, “It’s good!”Thank you, Heidi, it’s been a long journey and there are so many other stories like mine out there. My goal is to share that part of my life openly and honestly so that someone else begins to open up and know there IS life out of the deep abyss. I’ve bonded with people from 20 – 70+ by just opening the conversation a little wider. And the light I’m finally seeing is well worth the wait, and even the pain, because the joy is so much more now. And I’m loving every minute of it!
I’m just happy to be where I am right now, lol. That guy was very sweet but very different, and yes, lots of rejection. He was in awe that I gave him my time. But we move on.
I am amazingly happy and at peace with my life for the first time in a long time. Though it’s only been about a year and a half since my divorce, the separation even while we were married was a long and painful one. Here’s the rest of my story quickly. I fell into a really bad place and tried to kill myself. I’m so glad I failed at that one last thing! So, I divorced and decided never to fall into such misery again. I began my pursuit of peace and true happiness. Joy! It’s taken awhile to get there, nothing comes instantly, but I am finally in a new home, new location, and living my dreams. I’m a musician and artist and am pursuing my music career both on and off stage, and next month opening a shop showcasing my jewelry and my business partner’s arts as well. Such a fantastic and exciting time! And I have no fears about any of it. To add my new guy to the mix? That’s the sweet icing on the cake!Life is good, well, better than good, and I’m reaping the benefits of many hours of hard work, deep introspection, figuring out what I want and how to get there and actually doing it all!
BTW, on our first date we rolled my motorcycle, lol. No major injuries but a true bonding experience. Can’t wait to get my bike out of the shop and go riding tandem!
Then he asked if I would have sex with him “just once.” What did I do? Handled it with class, said, “No thank you,” and blocked him from everything! A friend of mine was actually asked if she would pee in a funnel up his a** ! I asked around and no one has ever heard of that one! Good luck to all the men and women looking for a normal, real relationship 🤗
We are growing slowly and getting used to each other. Trust is building and we often just sit in silence. We talk and tell silly stories. We laugh. A lot! Every now and then one of us will thank the other for acceptance, total acceptance, for who we are. Both of us have been hurt, but we don’t dwell on it. The little conversations about those things pop up in simple conversation. I told him I was an open book and he could ask me anything. He answered, “I want to find out a little at a time. “ So we sit and watch TV, clean the pool, work in the garage building his man cave, and dreaming of the things we can do together.
I’ve been very patient to let him come out of his shell. He was buried deep inside it. Slowly I’ve watched and waited, knowing he’s worth the wait, and another little chink in the shell comes off. He does it effortlessly. One evening he played Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters,” a song of growing trust. Just quietly played it for me. I caught the significance and just sat back and enjoyed.He thanked me for accepting him for who he is. I smiled and said the same. I thanked him for his honesty. Told him I’d been deceived so many times and appreciated his openness and trust with me. He smiled his quirky little smile.
We’ve both been around the bush a few times, both been hurt, but see something in each other that we like and are opening up to the beautiful trust that comes with an open honest relationship.
What I see in him is a wonderful man who’s been buried deep and now wants to begin a loving relationship with me. He literally waited 7 years for me. Not been with anyone else for all that time, and now we’ve chosen each other. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the biblical concept of the Year of the Jubilee, but it’s the seventh year after fasting and the time to celebrate. I find it significant that I’ve walked into his life at this particular time. The Year of the Jubilee has begun! And it’s open, honest, and comfortable as well as SUPER FUN! We have our serious moments but this best part is we live out loud and laugh till we cry!
Hi Kanya,
Thanks for the encouragement! I quit online dating after the guy licked sweat off my forehead. True story! I met a wonderful man who fits my personality and quirks perfectly at the local convenience store where he used to work. We hang out together,talk, laugh, enjoy relaxing time together almost every day. We’ve been together nonstop for a month now, and are growing into knowing each other. Not a red flag in sight and we’re open and honest. I’m not making this into a fantasy. We’ve just really hit it off.So we’re off to a good start, enjoying our time together and working on growing into a solid relationship.Heidi,
My life has shifted exponentially since I was on here.First, here’s my list for potential long-term dating:
1. Must sense a connection from the get-go.
2. Must NOT lick the sweat off my forehead and tell me it tastes good!
3. If I tell him I don’t want to date because I found another or for any reason, accept it and move on! Don’t ask if you can have sex with me “just once”!!!
4. Please don’t ask me to pee in a funnel up your wahoo!
5. Integrity and honesty is an absolute must. No room for slackers!
6. An open heart and willingness to talk and share about just about anything.
7. Emotional openness.
8. Attractive to me.
9. Excellent sense of humor.
10. Must accept and like me for who I am and not try to change me. I will do the same for you!
11. Available to spend real time together.
12. Good lover.
13. No lies or covering up things.
14. Faithful in our relationship.
15. Again, Faithful in our relationship!
16. I will be myself with all my personality quirks and we will work out our own dance with your quirks, too.
19. Must be able to talk openly and share our spirituality. I don’t expect our believes to match perfectly, but it matters!
20. As long as we get along and enjoy each other’s company, we’re good to go!Heidi,
I’m still curious why you think my cancer guy would want to date?Also an update: nI finally sent him a text, after no word for DAYS, which simply said, “I’m sorry things didn’t work out for us. You’re a really great man and I wish you all the best.”
He has yet to acknowledge it which I find interesting. Even if I were totally not interested, I would at least answer something like that! Oh well, cancer or no, he’s shown me who he truly is, and I’ve moved on. It gave me closure at least.
I amk so enjoying my new guy. He’s fun and has much depth and we’re giving it a shot! More on that later.
I’m also making a list of “Have to’s” and “Absolutely NOT (would rather die a slow death than put up with!)” and will share it when it’s done. Trust me, it will be entertaining!
James,
to continue as I’m thinking about it, we want someone we can connect with, trust implicitly, potential long term, possible marriage material, commitment, NO CHEATING, time together, and can’t wait for it to unfold.Hi James,
Thanks for chiming in. I’m much more into defining what I want in a relationship now. But I will keep an eye on that! I’m with someone now who is insisting we define and share what each of us wants in a relationship. Refreshing to say the least! We’re talking about every aspect of relationship, what it means, what our desires are and at the same time keeping it light. I’ve told him and we both agree, that we should go slow and easy, share each others lives, and see what the future brings. Lots of chemistry going on, but we both want a lasting relationship down the road.
