[Coach Spyce]

Hi Jadene,

I’m so glad to hear that he stepped up and has taken responsibility for his words and actions! Sounds like he has the ability to be mature and rational, which I’m sure is a breath of fresh air. Nice to feel like you’re with someone who will own who they are like an actual adult, and not keep making excuses.

I really am proud of you for making the decision to not be around him when he drinks. That is a really smart way to take care of yourself in the situation. Of course the best situation would be if he wasn’t planning on drinking, but since you can’t really change anyone or stop them from dealing with their pain in the way that they see fit and are ready to, you did exactly what you could best do. Of course take one day at a time, but also be aware. I say this because he does seem to be an alcoholic, and that is something that eventually may come between you. Has he ever spoken about stopping, or getting help to stop?

In terms of kids and marriage, having a plan of marriage two years down the road seems like a sound plan, and I would try to stick to that if I were you. I know that you are feeling very happy to be loved, and with someone who is choosing you, but you do still need time to get to know him better. Know how often these binges happen, and how long they last, and what may happen when he’s on a bender. I know that this relationship feels really good to you, and I don’t want to dampen or take that away from you, but I do want to point out that he will need to eventually get a handle on his alcoholism if you are to have a marriage and family. I’m sure you don’t want a part time husband and father.

Hopefully at some point he will be ready to deal with his trauma in a more constructive way, but I think you need to see when that comes, and how it all transpires. You have only known him a few months, and you still don’t really know him as well as you may feel like you do. So just be careful.

But in the meantime, I’m so happy for you that you’re feeling loved and satisfied. I’m glad to hear that you’re figuring out how best to navigate in this new relationship,and you’ve come across a partner who is willing to do the work with you! I have high hopes that he will make more positive changes in his life, and you will too.

Wishing you the best always,
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Jadene,

I’m sorry to scare you, but as you know, I do always need to speak the truth, in the gentlest way possible of course. I want you to happy and safe overall, always my first and most important objective.

Before we dissect the specific of what he’s saying anddping, I do want to address your concerns, and specifically this one:

I don’t want him to be another relationship I must end because the person has dangerous or damaging personal issues (which reduces my world to one in which no sane, viable partner exists).

If this person has dangerous or damaging personal issues, it’s not your fault, your responsibility, and it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with who you deserve, what you’re always going to get, or who the world is made up of. There ARE emotionally mature men and if this man turns out to not be one of them, at the end of day you have to know that it’s because he wasn’t sane or viable partner, not because one doesn’t exist. There very well are quite a few that exists, but you will have to walk away from the ones who are not that, as soon as you realize that. Not an easy task.

So in terms of Dustin…a lot of it sounds manipulative, and a lot of it sounds very immature, and someone who is not used to having to communicate deeply with their partner. Sounds like he hasn’t had the smartest partners before, and seems that he is intimidated by you and of your strength and skill, and therefore defensive. Because you are just asking him things to communicate deeper, and maybe he feels like he doesn’t really have the best answer, or the right answer, or any answer at all. So he feels foolish, and not up your standards. So he figures he will just burn it all down. This part is likely pretty unconscious.

The part where I think he’s falling back into manipulative communication patterns, is with the whole thing about “I want to sleep in my bed and I know you’ll say no to coming along”. Why say that? How do you say yes OR no after that?
And to freak out on you for not being comfortable and wanting to go home. So you should have to suffer if you really love him? That’s the message he’s giving.

It seems like the entire concept of sleepovers have just become a form of manipulation, and there as a test to see who will give in, and who cares more, and who is more caring and who is less manipulative. It doesn’t sound like a healthy development…

Despite all of this, I know that you want to make this relationship work thus far, and he has been open to talking about the miscommunication, as well as coming to realizations and admitting when he’s wrong. These things can be huge for people so we do have to give him credit there. I do understand you wanting to play this out for now and see where it goes. See what kind of changes you both can make, and if they feel like good positive changes where you’re growing together. Those are the ones that you need and will keep you together if you can actualize them.

Hopefully you can make time to talk together in the near future in a relaxed state of love, harmony, and connectedness, where you can see each other as allies, not threats.

I’m here rooting for your success, in whatever way that manifests 🙂
Keep me posted!

xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Marilynn,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story!Figuring out how to start he conversation can sometimes be the hardest part. We are glad that you have reached out to us so we can help you come up with a good plan of attack 🙂

Since you mention that you’re both retired, I am assuming that neither of you are particularly young. I say this for a few reasons, with the utmost respect.
At 20 & 31, or maybe even at 30 & 41, a 11 year age difference can feel, but after a certain point, I don’t see where it makes much difference at all. So I’m wondering how that feels significant for you.

Another thought is, why do you think that you would “scare him off”? Do you know anything about his previous relationships? Is he divorced, widowed, or has he been a bachelor his entire life? Is there a reason to assume that he wouldn’t be receptive to a nice woman such as yourself wanting to spend time with him? Sounds like a compliment to me!

Regardless, I don’t see how you could be “creepy” by asking him out as that typically refers to lecherous older men with MUCH younger women, so my vote would be YES! Why not see if he wants to have coffee?

I like to go with a causal approach. That puts less pressure on both of you. If you approach it as more of a friendly thing, then it takes out some of the awkwardness of a romantic rejection, or expectation. That can come in time, but better to get to know the person a bit anyway before you decide that you yourself want to go there.

How often do you see him? I’d recommend that the next time that you run into him, you casually say something like, “I’ve been wanting to try out this coffee spot away from the building, would you be interested in going? I’d love company”. Most people when asked in a friendly way will more likely say yes; because if they like you, they figure this is a way to spend time with you; and even if they don’t have romantic feelings towards you, no one wants to be that rude person!
If he says no, don’t worry too much about it.There could be a million reasons why he said that, and likely none of them are really about you.
Treat him the way you would a friend, and he will likely be more receptive if he is someone who is easily scared off for some reason.

Let us know how it goes!
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Jadene,

Thanks for sharing. I’m glad that you are feeling happy for the most part in the relationship. It sounds like the main issue is the communication, or rather the triggers that come along with it.

The only real issue that I see in this, is that communication is a 2 way street, and it can’t be all about you trying to find the exact right thing to say that won’t trigger or set him off. That’s not fair to you, or anyone, and is just setting you both up for a losing battle.

You said I do not know if it is me or him, but it seems like his default is defense mode from past relationships.
Bingo! Absolutely. It sounds like he has issues that stem from his “nice guy attitude” and lack of personal boundaries. Because he’s not able to stand up for himself in a way that feels good and works, he winds up giving in, and then feels frustrated by having to do things that he said he would for people when he didn’t really want to in the first place. So then when someone is asking him something, he reacts as is they are nagging him, because he didn’t want to do the thing but wasn’t able to be upfront with them to begin with. Does this sound accurate to you?

You said, I could use your guidance on how to talk to him so he knows I trust and appreciate him, instead of suspect I am critical or unsatisfied

This is difficult as what you’re doing is walking on eggshells trying to not piss someone off because of their own triggers and insecurities. Is he aware that he is doing this and reacting this way? Because if he’s not, it’s really going to be a long and painful road trying to get him to recognize what he’s doing. But if he’s open to looking at his triggers and being willing to do the deep work to change these patterns, then he is very lucky to have found a partner like you who is willing to do the deep work with him.

However, this is why I’ve been urging you from the beginning to stick to your boundaries and what you know to be true, and to express this to him while you were still in the honeymoon phase and he was still trying to win and woo you. Now he might feel like he has you roped in, and your emotions are super attached as well and now you are willing to do whatever it takes to keep him, even if he’s not going to truly be able to step up to the plate and be the partner that you need.

This is my concern. Can he truly communicate clearly and maturely, or is he going to blame you every time he gets triggered by something you say? Or will he have the wherewithal to recognize and acknowledge his part in what’s going on and be willing to work on his own stuff to be a better communicator, stronger man, and more engaged partner? His reactions are not your responsibility to manage, and you certainly should not be trying to stifle yourself in order to make him not get upset. That is a recipe for disaster.

So is he willing to look within? That’s the real question here that’s the most important in my mind.

xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Jadene,

How are you doing? I’m so sorry to hear about the anxious feelings that you were having! Anxiety is definitely a tricky beast and tough to navigate. It plays tricks with us, convincing us to turn our minds to the absolute worst case scenario.
Especially when that is a part of our wounding, it can be really difficult to fight off those feelings that the person has one foot out the door. And how dreadful to not be able to connect because of bad reception! Of course your mind must have been going in a million directions.

I know you are an experienced deep thinker, and you’ve expressed that you’ve have developed some tools over the years to help with anxiety. It sounds like the clairaudience can be helpful in that regard? Or does it mostly tell you things that you don’t want to hear?

Having feelings of anxiety about the relationship is all perfectly natural tho. You have to remember that even though you’ve connected deeply, you are still very new to each other. You don’t really know how he’s going to be in all different situations. You have to really get to know each other’s communication styles, and especially your conflict styles and how you react when stressed. Our other illustrious coach Heidi always talks about the real proof is how someone treats you when they aren’t at their best and it’s true. And it takes time to get to know someone well enough to be able to have those experiences with them.

I hope that he is someone that you can communicate well with, but you will just have to see what happens as it goes. While it’s always good for you to look at yourself and be wanting to grow more as a person (as i know you do) it is important to feel that you’re an equal part of the relationship and that your needs and wants matter just as much as theirs.

On his side, remember that he also just met you, and no matter how much he wants you to be in his daily life, he has quite a bit going on himself. And he just got out of prison and back to where he’s from. The job (what is it exactly?), his stepfather/family, housing I presume (is he living with you?), how he’s going to build a castle on your land, lol!

My reason for saying this is that if he’s not able to let you know that he cares about you as often as you’d like, it might just be because the boy is busy. And honey, that is a good thing! At least it sounds like he’s motivated to make up for lost time and make things happen. It doesn’t have to mean that you’re not a priority, it just means that you will have to be ok with sharing his time…with himself.

One thing that hurts many relationships is when there is doubt from one party that the other doesn’t want to be with them, or doesnt like them as much, just because of how well or much they are fitting the other person into their life. But it can be hard to bring a new love into your life. Love is a very overwhelming, all encompassing thing. Sometimes people get so overwhelmed by it that they just run away. But it feels really good…So most people at least try to make it work as long as they can!

Where I’ve seen relationships work the best though, is when both parties are living their lives, and just living their lives together. They are not worried about if it’s going to be something or where it’s going immediately, they are meeting someone and getting to know them. They are not marrying them after one week. They are hanging out because it feels good and eventually you realize that you just can’t live without the person. But that takes time to get to. So in the meantime, while you’re getting there, you just have to trust in the process.

I know it’s difficult there to make friends there and people can be so easy to get offended, especially on the internet! I wouldn’t be shocked if Becky and her friends are insanely jealous because of your relationship with Dustin and that’s why she dropped you. People are so weird.

I’m sure you have your people though! I know it’s been difficult to find, but my hope, my wish, and my VISION is for you to find your tribe soon. If you can keep having healthy boundaries, they will definitely come.

So how did things wind up playing out? Was it as bad as you imagined? What’s happening now???

xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Emily,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story! We are glad that you are here and we look forward to helping you unpack this situation, and hopefully be able to help you get some “spice” back in your life with your partner!

To be honest, this is a very common issue that many couples have so you are certainly not alone. I’m not sure how old you are, but often it can be hormonal, and our libidos naturally decrease as we age. You’ve mentioned that you’ve tried all kinds of things to increase your drive, so maybe looking at your hormone levels could be a good idea. I am not a doctor, but I definitely know that a lack of certain hormones in our bodies can make us feel lazy and uninterested in sex, as well as just lacking in energy. Most of the time it can be helped by diet, exercise, and there are also medications that help if it happens to be a thyroid or adrenal issue. This isn’t something widely explored in the western medicine sphere tho, so often you have to look to alternative supplements to give you that little pep. A quick google search should give you some ideas in that realm. Or is any of this ground that you’ve already covered?

However, I am wondering if it goes beyond that. How did you learn about sex? How was sexual activity talked about in your family, or modeled in your parents’ relationship? What were your early sexual experiences like? What do you like about sex? What do you dislike? There might be a reason outside of just being tired, busy, or “having a low drive”. And furthermore, what has your sex life been like with him? Was it different in the beginning? Has it changed?

It’s natural that he is pulling away now as he fears rejection every time that he approaches you, so he doesn’t even want to try anymore. This is not something that you should feel bad about as no one should ever feel pressure to have sex in a relationship, but it sounds like something that you want to change. Or is it? Do you truly want to have more sex or do you want to do whatever it takes to keep him? Because those are two very different situations going on, and we want to make sure that we are addressing the real crux of the scenario.

Looking forward to hearing more,
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Heidi,

Thanks for responding to Michele and welcome to the forum! I’m sorry to hear about the lack of sexual intimacy in your relationship. That can really be difficult.

Just to let you know how the forum works…you are welcome to write to other members and comment on their posts, but in order to keep things easy to navigate, we only respond with coaching to the original poster of each thread. So if you’d like for us to offer some coaching support, please start your own thread and either I or the other coach Heidi (yes there are a few here!) will respond to you there.

Glad you are here,
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Jadene,

Sounds like you’re making some positive steps for your own self-care, that will help you moving forward regardless of what relationship you are in. Good job on acknowledging your anxiety without losing yourself in it and making choices based on it. That shows some real growth and you should be very proud of yourself!

In terms of the 40% comment, how did you take that? Is 40% high or low? I like that it’s honest, and he’s not just telling you that everything is hunky-dory when its not. Because it does take time to get to know and trust someone, so if you’re at 40% already then perhaps that can be a positive. It doesn’t sound like you were at 80% but you did something to cause him to mistrust you and now you’re at 40%. It sounds like 40% is pretty good for him, given where you are at in the relationship. How trusting would you say that you are of him at this point?

I totally understand about being a strong woman, and wanting a strong man to be able to not only equal us, but sometimes be able to do even better. In my coaching career, I’ve specialized in working with strong and independent women as I am one myself, and I understand the unique dichotomy that exists for us. Sometimes people will say, “oh you just have to lean into your feminine”, which is ok, fine, whatever; but isn’t really the answer for a strong woman. Because most of us have taken on being the ones to take care of everything out of necessity, we don’t feel comfortable just letting go and trusting that someone else is going to pick up the slack. We need a very specific man for that, and they can feel hard to find. So we test them, push them away, or even worse; choose men that are obviously incapable of being the strong men that we need them to be, and then we can have a self-fulfilling prophecy of no man will ever be able to give me what I need. It’s a vicious cycle!

It sounds like Dustin is self aware, or at least working towards that, as well as being open with his emotions. That’s a great thing! As long as each person is willing to openly discuss their needs and wants and take responsibility for their side of things, you can have a successful and healthy relationship. And I am glad to hear that you are looking to make positive changes for you and your own self worth, regardless of where things go with Dustin, but also using his support as a way to further your growth.

I am really happy for you and I hope this positive attitude and outcome continues!

Keep me posted,
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Jadene,

How have things been going? I’m so sorry to hear that the conversation didn’t go well. It can really be about timing in these situations, and not something off the cuff, or too close to when the situation is occurring. So like for example; if he’s snoring all night after you went to sleep unfulfilled from him having erection problems, the next morning may be a tough time to discuss, as you’re likely both feeling bad.But also sometimes people can have a difficult time if you are being romantic and then something like this comes up. So usually the best time is when you’re not doing anything special, but you can just say, “hey, I want to chat with you about some ways I’ve been thinking that we can grow together. Are you up for a chat? And if not now, when do you want to do so?” You are expressing your needs but also giving him the space to assert his own boundaries, at a time where you are generally feeling good, but you haven’t set up some special time to make it happen. It does sound like you might have tried that style of communication, but maybe the timing was just tense at that moment, and you can find another time when things are feeling more light.
Do you think something like that would work? Either way, kudos to you for trying, and you are NOT wrong!

I’m sorry that it’s giving you anxiety about ruining the relationship, but I hope that you can continue to believe in your deserving of a kind and compassionate relationship, and your commitment to your own self care. There’s no reason that you should have to shove these feelings down for fear of losing him, that’s exactly what we are talking about with setting boundaries. It can feel bad to express them and like maybe it’s better to just let it go, and it’ll be ok, etc etc. But it’s not ok, and it will just get worse. Relationships need clear communication to grow and stay healthy. You have to be able to communicate with each other in order to make it work. That’s what love is all about. Being willing to put aside your triggers and believe in the fact that the other person loves and cares about you, and see any conversation as an opportunity for growth, not as an attack. If you are able to communicate in that way, you can have a healthy relationship. But it takes two and both parties have to be committed to that level of things. It’s not totally one person’s responsibility to say something in a way the other person wants to hear all the time. Both parties have to be responsible to sweep up their own side of the street.

That being said, if a relationship has 2 committed parties willing to do the work and treat each other kindly, then I think you’re on to something. When that’s not the case, then yes, it typically can be something that is toxic or abusive and should be ended. I totally understand that as humans we all make compromises, mistakes, etc, and nothing is totally black and white. As a coach, I can see that if you do a, b, and c, likely d & e will come after that. A person can do with that what they will. And even knowing that D & E are on their way, doesn’t necessarily stop us from working our way thru the entire alphabet with someone because life is full of unexpected change and being a human is messy. SO really all we can do is put our best foot forward every day. But if we want things to change, we have to do things differently. The best relationships happen when people are willing to communicate openly and honestly, and come from a place of love and commitment for the other, and really stand up for themselves and the relationship. You can still have a relationship without that, but whether or not it will make you happy is another story.

I know that you are an intelligent and intriguing woman who has had a rough life and doesn’t value herself as much as she should or could because of it. But I just want you to know that I fully support you in being deliriously happy, joyful, and loved. However that happens, I am 100% behind. And if you have to go thru a swamp of BS to get to it, I’ll be there in the trenches with you!

Let me know how things are going!
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Rhonda,

I totally understand how easy it can be to jump to a conclusion about someone and their behaviour, especially if you’ve seen hints of a certain behaviour and you’re suspect of how they might be. I’ve felt like this often myself, as I am the kind of person who excels at reaching out, and it seems that not many people do. So it can be very difficult to give people the benefit of the doubt. However, I’m glad to hear that ultimately Debbie came through and you were able to go out and have a nice time together.
How did the two of you meet?

You definitely have a much more active life there than anywhere else I’ve heard you talk about. I hope that you will hear back about a job too, BUT I also hope that even if something isn’t immediately forthcoming, you will still leave where you are and go back home anyway and look for something from there. As we’ve discussed, you will not be destitute if you go for a few months without work, and maybe even downsizing to a less stressful job in your hometown could be the best thing for you. You’ve worked so hard your entire life, and mostly to make other people happy. Now is a good time to think about what makes you happy. As long as you can get by and live a lifestyle that you’re comfortable with, why not just be happy instead of busy?

Sounds like the best plan to me!
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Jadene,

To be fair, I’m not sure if my second response was as good as the first as I was more tired the second time, but oh well, such is life!

Yes, it can be difficult to deal with someone snoring, but as you’ve said, it may be indicative of something deeper. The erectile dysfunction can also be affected by lifestyle, and also age. I’m no sure how old he is, but perhaps that’s a factor. But certainly stress really plays a part in all of it. Sounds like he is stressed in general with many moving parts, trying to get his life re-established after time in prison. He is blessed to have someone caring and capable as you to help him, but just make sure that your needs are being taken care of as well.

I know that it can be scary as unfortunately you’ve had bad experiences in the past of people not being up to the task of being a real true person with you, but I’d encourage you to not let the past inform the present, because it really doesn’t have to. You can make this your standards now, and you can not be willing to live any other way. If you are able to do that, you just might get what you need. Like I said, talking about these things now is better than letting them hang in limbo and then bringing them up later once a boundary is crossed that the other person didn’t know about.

I hear that you are concerned with HOW to say it too, and unintentionally saying i the wrong way. Unintentional is the key word here. I surmise that in the past, you’ve put off saying something that you know you need to say, and then something happens that upsets you, and then you say the thing in a detrimental way that comes out sideways. That’s like what happened with Jeremy. And whether or not the situation with him had merit, it still was an example of just this.

That’s why I keep saying to talk about these things in a good place, not wait until there’s an issue that needs to be discussed. Clear communication is a gift, an opportunity. It doesn’t need to be seen as “oh there’s something wrong”. Clear communication is like food to a healthy relationship. And any living thing needs sustenance in order to survive and thrive. That’s why I really suggest having as many clear conversations as you can with him early on about what you BOTH need. I assure you that he’s never been with a woman who wants to know what his deep needs and desires are. If you can let him know that these things are important to you, I promise that he will be grateful and feel that much more open to you.

Let me know how it goes!
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Jadene,

So I had typed up a response to this and then it disappeared! It’s been frustrating for both of us with losing responses here, not sure why that keeps happening! Anyway, I guess I’ll just have to type it out again.

I’m glad to hear that you were able to have some good conversations with Dustin about the unhealthy dynamic with his stepfather. Of course it’s always tough to make changes when setting a boundary can impact your living situation, or other things that you are receiving. It can feel dicey to stick up for yourself because it can often upset and offend people and then end in some kind of loss, whether it be stability, friendship, or love. But it is important for people to be able to set healthy boundaries, and in the end it hopefully winds up being better for all.

I understand that you feel more comfortable with him building on your land, but I’d like to know more about how that will look. So he will just build a structure for himself to live in, and then if things don’t work out he will just gift it to you? Or you will buy him out? I know that right now things feel perfect and like they always will be, and who knows, maybe they will, but it would be good for you both to at least write something up that spells out exactly the terms of everything just in case things ever do go south. This is for both of your protections.

While it’s great that Dustin is setting boundaries with others in his life, he does sound like a pleaser type person, and so you have to be careful to ensure that he is being fully honest with you. Not that he’s lying, but sometimes people can hid he truth because as we discussed, they are afraid to say what they really feel and risk losing things that they want. This is why I will continue to encourage you to have these deeper conversations now while you’re still new and shiny to each other, before you have resentments that have arisen. If you can create a culture of clear and compassionate communication early on, it will be that much easier to stay true to that course once you’ve gotten more comfortable with each other, and more difficult things do arise. That’s life, nothing is perfect, as you know. But if you’re committed to talking through what gets in he way, and you establish that as your modus operandi, it makes it that much easier to stick to it.

Thoughts?

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Christina,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story! It sounds like there is a lot going on under the surface so we are glad that you came here for some perspective. There are quite a few things that you’ve mentioned that are a bit concerning, so let’s unpack a little and see what we can figure out.

Starting from the top:

Your friends are skeptical
Why is that? What have your friends observed about your relationship that they don’t like?

You spend a lot of time together in the bar/under the influence
Alcohol severely impairs clear communication and can lead to all kinds of mishaps. He works in a bar and also heavily drinks. It sounds like you are not a big drinker. Do you see this as a potential incompatibility?

He is in the midst of a divorce
Whenever someone is in the process of divorce, especially when there are children involved and it’s messy, there is reason for concern. Is this person ready to start a new life with someone? Have they grown and learned from their last relationship? Do they still have many loose ends to wrap up? Have they done any inner work?

This guy is a first for me
You listed the way that he is a first, but I can’t tell if those things are positive or negative, but I’m guessing it’s more on the latter than the former.

So that brings me to my next question…what do you like about this guy? What do you enjoy most about being with him?

To be fair, it doesn’t matter whether or not his friends like you, the same way that it doesn’t really matter if your friends like him. But it does matter how he talks with his friend about you and most importantly how he treats you. I’m just not getting a clear picture of this guy, so if you could give us some more info as to how your relationships is in general, it would help!

But I will say, LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! If your instincts are telling you that you need space right now, that’s more than fine, and you don’t have to speak with him until you’re ready. If he doesn’t respect that, that’s another concern we can bring to the table.

Look forward to hearing more,
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi dear Rhonda,

I just wanted to message you and say how sorry I am for the loss of your father. I know that while you’ve said that you really weren’t happy in your childhood in general, your father was still the closer parent to you. No matter what the nature of our relationship is with parents and family, it’s still an emotional and difficult thing when those that brought us here are gone from this world.

I’m so glad that you had the opportunity to go see him when he was coherent and aware, and that you were able to have that special time with him. I hope you don’t beat yourself up too badly about not being there at the very end. It doesn’t sound like it would have done anyone any good to have had you go through all of what you would have had to go through to go back at that time. Much better for all how it all played out.

You’re a wonderful caring person, and the olive branch that you keep extending to your sister is beautiful. I really hope that she takes you up on it one of these days, for her sake more than hers. You have a lot of love to give, and she would be lucky to receive some of that. Maybe with your parents being gone, her load will feel lightened.

I just LOVE hearing of how much fun you have when you’re home! Like I’ve said before, I’m going to dance a jig for you when you’re finally there for good. You’re like Dorothy…”there’s no place like home”…one of these days all of that heel clicking will finally be in your favor.

Have a wonderful New Year, and all of my best wishes,
xoxo
Spyce

[Coach Spyce]

Hi Leah!

I responded to you in the other thread. Looking forward to continuing the conversation!

xoxo
Spyce

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