[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya

Thanks for your answer and kind advice. I think you are right i am a bit confused and yes i thought aswell that i should be honest with him. I like the tone of your suggestion and i would probably send it to him. I am just waitin thinking i should wait a little as he didn’t reply to my last message 2 days ago so i wanted to give him some time…
I’ll see during the weekend i guess to send it.
Thanks again
Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi
Don’t really know how to put it in words but i have the feeling that i felt kind of « fear » as things got pretty intense quickly between us. Which i know made me acting weird and like i wasn’t interested in him, while going on vacation and just lived my life without really getting myself « invest » in discussing with him and all. I know it could be part of the « chasing game » but i also know that he doesn’t like it much as we discussed about the fact that he doesn’t really like the fact that the guy should take first move everytime according to « society standard ». I also know he has been pretty busy while changing job and i kind of took it personally at one point making myself even more distant. So all these for me create misunderstanding about what i felt what i wanted and all…while i sent the « manipulative » kind of message i just wanted to reactivate his curiosity and show him a little bit of interest but i am not sure it was the right one and right way to do it. I didn’t reply to his question about what i meant but sent out another message reminding him how it was when we met and what i felt at this point…but i stupidely erased it after as i was thinking it was a nonsense message which wasn’t clear at all (as per me) and i also thought he didn’t read it…but he did…and he said it wasn’t nice to erase messages, which was a pretty nice one thought and well writed and that he just didn’t got time to answer it yet as he was working. I felt stupid :/ i replied to him that i was thinking it was not understandable and that was why i erased it but if he understood it it was pretty cool but i guess he won’t reply to this.
I guess i should have been honest about my thought about him and shared my « fear » but at the same time i don’t think it’s the right time to…

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

To be really honest…i don’t know…I felt this connection with him and the fact he was so nice while we met and even after by being a bit attentive at first and then he gave me advice by analyzing what i liked and we both had the same taste…i have the feeling that there could be something. i Don’t know why i keep on thinking about him and that things just get mixed up between us…because of some misunderstanding.

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya
Thanks for your answer. Yes sometime it’s good to exchange with the opposite sex but at same time i feel sometime even more confused than i was before 😅😅
For the party yes it might work we discussed about it with single girl friend of mine but the thing is that we both concluded that we don’t have that much single friend at first and that if these guys friends of ours were single and interesting to date we would probably be Ith them🤣🤣
So…let see lol
Appart from that i have decided to get my power and self confidence back regarding J. Asi don’t find him pretty clear about what he wants or not (i read that he was kind of « orbiting me »). Sent him out a message a « spellbound » one i read in some of the course i got online. Telling him that : « You know, you better stay away from me before things get too intense. I’ve been told that I’m like a cigarette, I might be pleasurable in the short term but could cause a lot of damage over time ». I wasn’t really waiting any answer from him to be honest, i thought it wouldn’t work as for me you can really see it’s a manipulating kind of messages that is just there to create a reaction…but he did answer pretty quickly by the way asking what was the meaning of that…as i wasn’t prepared to an answer i didn’t answered him and was just thinking that it could be a good way to make him just think more about me and his behavior…
Your thought about it ? I was just thinking to say « it’s hard to explain by messages, but look, you are a nice guy, and you are fun, but i think you and i it can’t work. I am too hard to handle and you are too nice for someone like me » (it’s another spellbound quote but not sure it’s the right one to use to make him come back…)
Have a good day 🙂
Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi
Thanks for the message 🙂
Not sure he managed to release all the tension…still filling a lot of pain :/

For the guy who needs to be Ith me i guess i need a confident guy but not only lol i have guys chasing me that i am not interested in at all ( i know them already and i am not attracted to them at all both physically and mentally…).

Yesterday i was at a birthday party and one of my friend was pushing hard to make me go out with a common friends we have ( i even been roomate with the guy 10 years ago) but same, i am not attracted at all. By the way i am not even sure my ex roomate ever wanted to go out with me and that our common friend is just playing. And of course during these party they all came to me asking me if i was seeing someone and blablabla and i had this discussion with another guy friend of mine who happen to be single aswell and we were exchanging about our experiences. I especially said that i didn’t understood J’s attitude (it was one exemple i gave) and he told me that it was reminding him kind of his own behavior that it was hard for them to really said no i don’t want to see you anymore but still keeping little connection. I told him it wasn’t nice for us (girl) and that they should be more honest. Lol
At the end for this discussion we were just both agreed that it was a generation issue. The fact that we had access to so many people was in fact kind of avoiding to create real connection With someone or that as soon as something wasn’t looking good we were just jumping out without trying to dig more. I told him that i was finding this society a bit sad…and he agreed aswell lol poor us !! 😅😅
But it was a really interesting discussion for both of us as we exchange the women and men point of view 😜

[Emilie S]

Hi both
Just to let you know i have seen my osteopath today so he worked on my tailbone. He said that i had a lot of tension so let see…it was a really painning session 😅😅
But i couldn’t keep myself smiling and laughing…🤣🤣

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya
Thanks much, i will have a look to the book you suggested. But as i am not an english native i hope i will understand everything lol
Regarding the way i meet man…in fact i don’t meet that much. As told in my previous messages, i am not going out that much as my friends are for most of them in couple and with kids so when we meet it’s at their place and for gym i am going to my teacher’s place so for the moment it’s more or less on dating app. But i am not that much into it as i don’t have that much time to spend on it …I have the feeling i am not really in a « looking for someone » period, it’s just the frustration i get when i finally met one and we seem not to be on the same level even if they said they do at first…i don’t know if i am really clear 😅😅
Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya

Wow that’s amazing ☺️☺️ Thanks for sharing. Of course there will always be a way of having kids ! It was just to share the « feel bad part » i have when people remind me i am single. That’s the only part where i am not really able to control my feeling…

Emilie

[Emilie S]

The feeling bad part is more because i know i want kids because i love kids…and everytime they are reminding me that i am single, it gets me back to the fact i can’t have kids alone. (I mean i could with science but that’s not what i want lol)
I know i still have time by the way but it’s just that i didn’t wanted to have them too late as i know it’s harder as you have less energy whé you get older.
But otherwise i am happy in my life, i have a job i love, i do activities i love, i take time for me, for vacation,i have family friends and i have health (except when i fall on my tailbone lol)
Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

I understand what you say and i am doing it in fact. I even so do it that i don’t have much free time to « meet guys » from online app. I find it exhausted aswell and not spending much time on them. Or during some period when i really don’t have anything else to do and thinkin « ok why not give it a try » but honestly i found it’s a lack of time most of the time 😅😅

And the problem with seeing people around married and with kids isn’t this part it’s more the way they look at you or keep asking so where are you on this ? Have you met someone and blabla. Even if i am not really the kind of person concerned by what people think of me (i am who i am lol) sometime it’s pretty pressuring me and i can’t help myself of feeling « bad ».

Most of the time i am ok the way i am and with the fact i am single 🙂
It’s just when i finally decide to meet someone, and i have the feeling we could get to know each other or i feel a « connection » i am frustrated when it doesn’t lead anywhere. But i know i am able to forget quickly as soon as i deal with my ego lol

Nevermind i am working on myself and on the positivity and energy i have (i do have a lot) but i sometime have the feeling that people are just taking my energy to feel better and let me with nothing…

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi
Thanks for your kind words.

In fact i know what you say but sometime it’s pretty hard to see everyone around having relation and being the only one alone.

I am even tired of looking to someone and « seeking » but i know that if i don’t « look » i am not meeting that much new people…I am almost always meeting the same people and as my friends are all in couple with babies when we meet it’s most of the time at someone’s place so no chance to meet anyone new. Even for my activities it’s not in a club it’s at my pole teacher’s place…
So it’s quite complicated to imagine that someone will show up sometime without me looking for it …
Thanks
Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya
In fact while discussing they all say they are interested in dating but at the end i don’t know…Maybe something is wrong with me. Sometime i am wondering if it’s because i don’t show them enough interest as i am thinkin i shouldn’t show it or they will pull away… and that’s what happen at the end…or i am unconsciously showing too much interest and they are obviously pulling away…

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi ladies
Hope you are doing good
I am finally back from Venise where i jad a blast. It was really a great trip and it’s an amazing and beautiful city 🥰🥰
During my stay there i had some quick news about J liking my Venise’s pics and sending some quick comments about them. I also discussed quickly with him while back home about the netflix advice he gave to me. I told him i liked the show and that he had good taste and he replied he knew i would like it. I replied he would now be my adviser and i also said that now that i was back from all my holidays and that my tailbone seems to be better we could meet again if he wanted (no answer yet since yesterday…). It seems he is not interested anymore…but let see…
I also had some news from P which is currently on holidays and coming back during the weekend. Don’t know when we will meet as we didn’t discussed about it yet and i don’t want to be the one to ask again.
And i also got some news from the cousin, who is feeling a bit better but still suffer a bit feom his injury. He seems to play again a little with me. As he was « mean » to me i remind him that he was still owning me a hot chocolate. He replied that due to the nice weather better take a cold beverage. But…he didn’t really invite me after that.
Even if i am doing good and that i am quite happy and positive these days i have a feeling that i am apparently not able to find someone or so…😅😅😅
Emilie

[Emilie S]

Just a quick update as J replied to my message since i wrote here. So he told me he was doing good and so happy he finally quitted officially his previous job and that the new one was currently pretty intense. He asked how i was…so…don’t know he might have put himself in silent as i didn’t reply to him after he declined my invite and because he was busy in his new job…let see.
I just replied to him i was pretty busy aswell and shared my thought about the sitcom i started to whatch with him and finish by my own. I also told him i would watch something else he suggested me. I guess regarding this particular topic we do have the same taste….
Let see

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

In fact i do like J and wanted to know him more (i still want but i guess i was refreining myself about thinking too much about him. Also i didn’t wanted to show him too much my interest and maybe it had the total contrary effect of what i wanted and i pushed him away…I sent him a message how he was and asked if he was now fulltime in his new job. But not sure it was really the kind of message that would show him i want to see him again or my interest and that will bring him back…Will see what happen now…

For P i like our talk but as i never met him and as i had the impression i was the one who wàted to meet him more i don’t really know yet what i think about him.

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