[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

😀

I’ve not been there yet it’s in July 😉 I’ll definitely let you know my thoughts about NYC 😉

I’m feeling good about it right now. Just taking time for me, I also decided to avoid judgmental people so like that I definitely feel comfortable 🙂

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hello Kanya,

Thanks for your answer 🙂

I can understand your feelings about resting ! It’s good sometime and really needed for your body and mind aswell I can definitely feel it 😉

At Same time I am not totally “resting” but just taking time for other activities, I spend a lot of time reading these days so yes I’ll read your suggestion. (I might have already read it but not at the right period so it’s good to have some refreshment !)

I’ll let you know once it’s done 🙂

Cheers

Em

[Emilie S]

Hello ladies,

Just noticed it’s been a while I didn’t came here and wrote some updates 🙂

In fact nothing really changed on the relationship side, no new meeting, lots of come back from past guys but not feeling to discuss with them lol

I’m doing pretty good apart from that, I had a lot of work lately that I really loved and I went for weekend in south of France to see my grandpa, I also try to recover from my leg injury which was in fact my back which was totally blocked…I am getting better now but I am still resting and not doing sport that much which is complicated for me…Instead I am going out, reading, sleeping lol which is still a good thing ! 😀

Cheers !

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Haha yes Heidi for sure it’s not meant to stay all day long static…
But feel goods at the same time it’s just that it’s too much rest for me 😅😅
For the upper body yes i am planning to work on it but i went to my pole class this past 2 days and ir felt really good even if i had to adapt my training to avoid move on the leg 🙈🙈 my poor teacher lol but she is really flexible and kind she did adapt the lesson for me 😇😇
For the core it’s complicated because most of the time you contract also the legs or butt and it’s paining for me right now same for balance…i am just patient and i (almost) leave my body and give it time to heal😊

For NY don’t know yet if i will have the same feeling as in Hk as the road seems atleast bigger so you have more spaces even with skyscrapers but i definitely wanted to go there ! I am a bit afraid of the height so i hope i will manage this fear and be able to enjoy rooftop events and all 😅
That’s a big challenge for me lol
I am really excited about this journey can’t wait to be there it’s coming fast !!
I have to plan my trip there so it’s good that i need to rest i have time to do so 😁😁

Emilie

PS : my exboyfriend (the one i stayed with during 4 years and was a narcissist) sent me a loooong message today…didn’t get the point about it (as he has a girlfriend it’s not because he wants me back which wouldn’t have happen)…he was thanking me for everything i did for him and that thanks to me he is now free of all toxine he was taking and that he was enjoying life he was wondering how i was and he wrote about how great and precious i am and that i deserve to be happy and blablabla …that if i wanted he will always be a friend to me…

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

Thanks for your message 🙂

And yes I think I would love it but same time, I am afraid of feeling oppressed by the skyscrapers. I was having this feeling while in Hong Kong lol

I am staying at “Made hotel” don’t know exactly where it is my office is on Broadway but something around number 900.

Ans yes it’s good to rest a little 🙂 but same time I am feeling more tired than when I do sports lol

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi

Haha not sure that it’s related to my butt bone. I just stretched my leg too much during that class. I have never been that flexible on this part of my body…and my foot flipped on the pole more than what my body could handle lol
It’s ok I am feeling better and still resting my leg for few days 🙂 Even if it’s hard for me not to do any sports, I guess my body needed it more than I thought !
Yes it was fun and good to stay on the couch but same time I would have enjoyed to go out a little…Atleast weather was bad so I wasn’t that frustrated lol
Yes I am coming to NYC for 9 days ! I’ve never been there it will be my first time, I am super excited 😀
I am mainly coming for works but I am staying the weekend after to get some extra time to visit (of course I’ll do some visit after working hours !).

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hello Heidi,

Thanks for your message 🙂

I’m doing good and better !

Not much story to tell as I got myself injured (muscle elongation in my leg) last week during one of my pole classe so… I’m not going out much as I need my leg to rest in order to recover -_-“. Pretty hard for me not to do anything…Spent my weekend on my coach watching Movies and sitcom lol

Just planned my business trip to NYC in July 😀 so happy about it !

Have a good day

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Thanks for your explanation. I got it 🙂

I am working on it so let see !

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

Thanks for your answer. My grandma is a bit stubborn and you can’t really discuss with her lol
I mean you can share but she will always give her own point of view which should be yours aswell…She always have this kind of comments on every aspect of life (about weight, home, …), she “knows better” and every time we discuss about a subject with different point of view we go to argue and there is no point…I try not to take it personally as she is like this with everyone and as my mom said “she is like that you can’t change her at this age” but sometime it’s just frustrating…

About your last question, no idea, it’s easy to fake you are happy in your life and relationship…People are wearing masks all the time. And I guess that’s what I mean when I am saying I want “deep connection”, I just want someone with his qualities and default but who is honest about them and with whom I can be honest about mine (I am with myself once again about all this).

Emilie

[Emilie S]

I am not too sure about what you are saying…

I don’t need a guy to help me get the deep connection with myself…i need a guy with whom i can have this type of connection otherwise i am not feelingg like having a relationship with guys if i don’t have this… meaning i prefer to be alone without that. It’s just that i find it frustrating to be judge because i am single and feel people think it’s my fault if i am single because of some obscure reason. It’s mainly coming from my grandma but which keep on asking me or wanting me to be with someone and have child and all. Of course i want that but not with anybody which isn’t meant for me or don’t meet my expectation.
About this guy of course i am sad he wasn’t ready to invest himself in a real relationship but i have no control on this so i accepted it and i left him. It was just nice to be able to be myself 100% without being judge. Which doesn’t mean i am not myself while single. So i don’t really know what you mean on the part of me which isn’t connected with myself.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

When i say guys it’s more when they ask if i am single or not and they say that maybe i prefere to be alone and blablabla…

It’s already hard enough to be alone and not find someone to share my life with without being reminded of it all the time…

Guys in general don’t mean anything, i just want to find one with the deep connection and all my others criteria. That’s it.
Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

Thanks for the reply.

I was thinking i should be eloquent and really expressed my feelings and let the emotion go.

I am with my family during the weekend so it helps. But i know that whenever someone is asking me about guys and relationship i feel like crying.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Thanks for the message.

Yes I did it…And yes I still have tears coming up sometime. I have mixed up feelings about feeling released from something I was holding and same time I feel kind of sad and same time proud of me…So it’s coming up and down when I think of him and up when I don’t.

I wrote this to him :
“I took the time to think lately, you are someone I appreciate for the exchanges we had, the laughter, the affection, the sex … Thank you for all that, and also to have accepted me as I am without judging me (or at least without giving the impression). I also thank you for being honest with me on the fact that you do not feel able to go beyond the sex side, it is a quality that I appreciate from you. And it’s my turn to be honest, I want to build a real relationship or at least try with someone who shares this desire. So I think for me it’s better that we stop seeing each other as long as there is this wall on your side.”

He replied :
“I perfectly understand your point don’t worry.You are really a good person, intelligent and mature. You deserve to meet someone who considers you as such.”

And that was it. I was thinking that I should stop just telling him I wasn’t available, because in the end he would feel frustrated, I would feel the same and we would have gone on a path to argue for nothing. So better to end it on a good point. I just would have prefered to do it in person but in the meantime I would have just cry all the things out of me so would maybe not be the best solution…lol

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi again,

He finally came back to me today asking again to meet, I said I wasn’t available…And in the end I told him I couldn’t meet him anymore because he wasn’t meeting my expectation…I’ve finally found the courage to tell him…

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hello Heidi,

I get what you mean about the 2 drivers and it does make sense. I guess the fight between the 2 of them is just still a bit hard and painful even if it’s getting more and more clear that the adult should take the lead.

For the tears, I don’t have words to put on them, it’s just coming and leaving without real explanation or not logical one I can figure out right now.

I call it “weakness” because I found it easy to speak or express emotion behind a message or a phone. You don’t really “face” the person and the reaction. But you might be right that it’s not true, it’s just the way I see things.

I also guess you are right about the fact that I have difficulties to let thing go. Even if I could do it without saying it but just by disappearing, which is quite easier…But it would mean I am not facing the truth and not taking the courage to really cut ties.

In the meantime, I am thinking that there is no much ties between the both of us as we don’t have a real relationship so I don’t owe him this, it’s not like if I would release him from me. I just owe it to myself to cut my own patterns and go on with my life and send the message to the universe.

Emilie

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