[Emilie S]

Yes he does…I was like “what the fuck” lool the weird part was that I thought about him this morning wondering if he was ok (yeah I am too nice lol) never mind now I know he is alive loool

Hmm I guess by no pain I was not clear. I agree that pain and hurt and even the fear to lose the one you love is in the balance all the time. By pain I was more thinking like even if you feel pain you’ll find the solution to obstacle, and moreover the strength to overpass it.
Not sure it’s clearer ?

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

LOL I received you answer 3 times 😉 I guess I am really on the right track !!!!

I didn’t really took time to think deeply about it but I guess the most important is that it’s natural and that even if there is obstacle it should be solved easily as if solution would appear by themselves…don’t know if it’s clear lol
There should be no pain !

Just for the “fun” the guy who ghosted me just liked a new pic I uploaded today itself on my profile…I answered by making fun of him like thank you, revenant guy. But of course as he is really brave he didn’t answer lool

Have a good day

Em

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Thanks for your message 🙂 I guess that’s why it’s so complicated for me to be in a relationship lol Being a kick-ass lady seems to frightened a bit guys…lol

Hmm for your question about “what love will feel like when you find that person matches you”…It’s a complicated topic. Not sure I’ll have the answer for that…But I would say that when you find that person you’ll know it from the start inside your body, like a warm feeling from the inside. Something you can’t control and everything would go smoothly, naturally…It doesn’t mean that there won’t be any obstacles but at least you will want to “fight for it” and know how to proceed. I am not too sure it really answers the question…I’ll have a deeper thought about it while not at work lol

Have a good day

Em

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

Thanks much for your message 🙂
It took me some time to be able to end both the relationship because as we say “you know what you lose you don’t know what you’ll get”. But…in the end I choose what is best for me and not what “could be”.

I am single since end of 2016.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

The first one I was pretty “young” it was between 22 and 26. In between I spent 2 years in India where I was living and when I came back, I was just seeing that he was too lazy for me, he didn’t shared much and he wasn’t projecting himself much in the future, just living the day (which could be good but he wasn’t having any fixed job so no real income and all…)

The second one I was 27 to 31, he was kind of a dreamer person and he was the one pretty manipulative. I guess he sold me dream at first and after 3 years I saw that same we were not having the same life approach. He wanted to have kids (I do aswell as you know) but without having a fixed work aswell (he tried to start his own business during 3 years but never made it) but still wanted to have a kid and I was telling him that I wouldn’t have one without being sure I could provide everything to him meaning we needed enough income to live and all. He didn’t liked much to travel and I love that, he didn’t like much to party and I like that, he didn’t had much friend so he couldn’t do anything without me around and I need to have some space some time…so I guess it came time to time. After 3 years I think It was clear for me that we couldn’t end up together but it took me a lot of time to be able to break up with him because he was always asking for new chance, he was playing with me on this…

Em

[Emilie S]

Hi

I’ve been in serious relationship twice where I stayed 4 years with the guy both time and was at first feeling like it would be “for life” we were even living together…But in the end both time I ended up seeing that we were too different in our approach of life and goals. I felt in love…but maybe it wasn’t ? lol

Em

[Emilie S]

Hahaha I’m not that young anymore I can definitely feel it …I’m not going so often that late to home…Usually now I’m gone by 1 am or 2 am lol

And for the ghosting guy it might be that or something else I don’t know. But I can’t imagine how they do that while on a relationship (I mean we were speaking almost every evening during so many hours…). Sometime it’s just because it’s fake profile, by that I mean they put pics of a good looking guy and in the end they can’t make to the date because that’s not them…but nevermind I don’t care anymore. I am too busy to stay on this lol

I don’t know for the shy guy. He is acting as a friend so I do the same. As we are not meeting I don’t really have to say anything for now. If at one point I meet someone (or atleast I feel like starting dating again) I let him know. I know it looks a bit like “I am avoiding the discussion” but it’s just I’m ok to share advice on movies or books lol.

Have a good day,

Em

[Emilie S]

Haha it wasn’t only the alcohol part it’s also because I came back home around 5 am and I was already out the day before and had to get up early so…lack of sleep was the worst part of my Sunday…also it was raining all day so not feeling like doing anything lol

And for the ghosting guy I am still a bit upset for sure about his behaviour but I’m not thinking much as I said I was not expecting any answer from him. Of course for once I definitely would have prefere to be wrong, but as one of my friend is saying…I’m always right :/ lol

For the shy guy he just sent me another message telling me he went for another movie we talked about before so…not sure it’s consistency or what. I’ll close with him aswell it’s just that I am not upset after him so it’s harder lool

Em

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Not much update to be honest 🙂
Party was really fun even if I eventually drink too much alcohol thanks to my colleague lol we had a good night but the Sunday was soooo hard after partying all night lol
We met people there quickly but mainly girls lol

I didn’t heard from him back since my last message, but I wasn’t expecting that he would reappear, It would have mean he was brave lol

I guess I should close with the shy guy swell, but didn’t do it yet. I guess yesterday evening he was about to ask me out for a movie but I told him I already saw the movie he was talking about.

I’ll check yes for sortfiraparis but I have so many stuff planned already that I don’t really have time for that right now. Will see later on once I’ll be in a calmer period 🙂

Cheers

Em

[Emilie S]

Let see 🙂
I am meeting at my friend’s place to jave wine and then we go out. Seems it’s a new classy club like a rooftop on « champs Elysees ». Not where i am going out usually so let see lol
We have something similar as meetup called « sortiraparis » i will see but i tried once and wasn’t really convinced
I sent him out my last message telling him that “apparently geminy or cancer are more indecisive than the libra. Good weekend “(because he asked me for my astrological sign and told me that)
I won’t have answer but i feel like i am the one closing it and not him

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

No news so far (it’s 4pm) but ill let you know tomorrow if something happen but most probably not.
I don’t know why he puts that much effort and also why he proposed to meet to ended up like this. I guess he prefers virtual things or just need attention…who knows…as i told one of my friend, i would have accept a cancellation for any reason atleast he would have show some respect and bravery but this…i can’t accept except if he had an accident or something really bad that avoid him just to answer.
And the worst part is that i am pretty sure he will show up in few days apologizing or even not and act like nothing happened. He might proposed another date and ghost again (if i was nice or stupid enough to talk to him again).

For the shy guy..:no comment i would say lol

And i don’t think we have meetup but we might have something similar but i think you have to pay to be part of the group or app or whatever it is. I might check for it but not right now i am too tired to invest time even on this.

The friends i might go out with tonight are single females colleagues of mine. One is Canadian and same age and she is facing same issue with dating. She quitted aswell lol

Weird society we are living in…

Nevermind ill keep you posted 🙂

[Emilie S]

Hi both,

In the end i think there won’t be any date tonight as it seems he ghosted me. Not sure but as i call him yesterday evening before going out to check if 8pm would be ok for tonight and i didn’t get any answer since (and it’s almost 3pm here) i am thinking i won’t meet.
So i plan something else with my friends and in case he comes back on last minutes i’ll just let him know that for me it was cancelled. Not gonna wait after him.

The other guy sent me a message again asking me how the week was and he told me he was doing babysitting tonight…i don’t really understand the purpose…Nevermind i think i am done again with the dating things. It’s too tiring for nothing lol

Have a good day

Em

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

Thanks for your answer 🙂

Yes I guess that thinking about “numbers” is quite pressuring me lol I prefer things to go naturally than having to think ok it’s been that much months or that much number of dates.

I guess that what is important for me is to be align with him about our vision of life, future, values. I want to feel a real connection, by that I mean what we already have a little about being able to speak about everything, have fun on everything, feel respected and see a real investment on both side to move forward. I also need to ensure that he can handle me lol I know I could be a “pain in the ass” when I don’t have what I want or the way I want…lol but I need someone who can put his word into action…So I’ll see more the act than the “beautiful speech”.

Hope it’s clear…

Em

• This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Emilie S.

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

I get what you mean and understand it perfectly. But I’m not sure I’ll be myself able to handle it. I know that the physical part can interact in a negative way on the feelings and all, but same point, I’ve been for 4 years with a guy with whom the sex was really not good. And I know I couldn’t have stay longer, in the end, it’s for me also a part of the communication, because if you are not able to satisfy your partner it means you are not “listening” to him or might be too focus on yourself and your own pleasure which could also show that you are selfish and all…So I totally understand that you need to get to know each other before going for sex, but I also do have the feeling that it helps to figure out some stuffs that could be easily hide while just talking or hanging out…Don’t know if it’s clear, and I might be totally wrong…But that’s just a thought.

Em

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya

Thanks for your answer. Yes things are getting interesting but let see. It’s just feeling good after the “too shy guy” experience.
I got the point for the 3 months but see, for this shy guy, after a month and half without anything I was just feeling like it wasn’t a good fit for me…So 3 months is a bit too long. I am more thinking in number of dates than in an amount of time. Don’t know if it’s clear. But it really depends of the frequency of the date. I mean if you are seeing someone twice a week at least, 3 months is so much numbers of dates, I know I couldn’t even myself handle to wait that much. I need the physical part to check if it’s good fit or not…

Have you even had the experience of someone coming on strong just to then go away strong? << not too sure of what it means :s

Do you mean that he is pushing hard on me and then just disappear ? I would say that I experienced yes, but I never spend that much time over the phone, (I don’t like phone call usually to be honest…I never know what to say or what to talk about, but it’s pretty easy with him we do have good fun and joke a lot about each other. It’s quite easy talk for once) it was mainly by messaging so it’s a bit different, you can’t hear the ton of the voice and all…

Emilie

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