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Hi Heidi,
Thanks for your answer and for the sharing. I had a quick look on the website you shared. I did like what I quickly read for now 😉 I’ll definitely have a closer and deeper look into it !
Have a good day 🙂
Emilie
Hi Kanya,
Thanks for your answer. I guess it’s the virtual world which is making people think that they could be unrespectful because they feel protected by this virtual things. It’s the same with people spreading bad words, harrassing, insulting online just because they feel stronger behind their screen. I feel pity for them, because I know they would never act like that in real life, they are weak.
But for the ghosting, I am also guilty of it sometime. It’s just that you start speaking with someone, and it just shut downs by itself sometime because there is no much interaction or thing to say. It’s not a lack of respect it’s just shutting down from both side, or that’s my own perception of it maybe…
And yes I try (and succeed a bit) to be more positive in the way I see things now, I am learning from every step I am making. It’s like it was a trial everytime of an hypothesis and it’s not working so next hypothesis to try lol.
Have a good day,
Emilie
Hi Heidi,
Thanks for your answer. I see yes, but even if I think it’s ok to feel hurt, I also feel that on this specific situation, I shouldn’t be hurt because of this kind of “rejection”. By that I mean, that everyone has his own taste and you can’t force it. And in that specific case, I prefer to choose not to feel hurt and let my heart drive. Ego might not be better but at least just on the self esteem point it’s better lol.
I guess it will depend on the situation but on this specific dating app and ghosting stuff…I prefer not to feel hurt and not staying in that state of mind if it’s the case.
And yes it is definitely good to see the growing part and the way I deal with situation change. As we say here “learning by doing” lol.Have a good day 🙂
Emilie
Hi both
Sorry for my pretty late reply but i had some issue to access the website…don’t know why it kept on asking me to login 😅😅 And at one point i just stopped trying to be honest…
Thanks for the video sharing and all your thoughts.
I guess i am getting stronger for sure and more aware of my intuition so it’s a good thing. But as you said, even if i listen to it i am not gonna rush directly into conclusion because of that 🙂
I perfectly understand what you saif about feeling hurt or not. I might have been hurt but i think my anger was more coming from my ego more than my heart. Don’t know how to explain but i didn’t really knew him, we didn’t really planned to meet so it’s not like i was attached to him. My ego part wasn’t happy because of this lack of respect. And also because i did thought « ok he is not totally my type physically but i am gonna try to overpass it » and just because i tried myself to see behind this plus the non respect got me upset. So yes it’s mainly ego hurt but at the same time i feel a bit stronger as i forget pretty quickly and move on. In the past i would have focus on this for so long and wonderint what i was doing wrong or not…now i am upset for a day (or less lol) and just thinking they didn’t deserve me or couldn’t handle me…which i find more positive for me ☺️
Have a great day
Emilie
Hi Heidi,
Thanks for sharing all this 🙂
I can’t access to the link you provided (maybe a member access is needed ?)
In fact when I am ghosted I am upset but more on “who do you think you are you asshole I worth so much more than you will ever have in your life” kind of thoughts lol so I guess it same as you shared I am getting stronger and stronger. At first I used to try to analyse and now I am just thinking what I wrote. I think as I felt it before it happens I am more feeling like I need to listen more what I “feel” (I knew deep inside the other one was a “fake” and that this one was taking distance. I felt it so I should have listen to myself lol).
The day it happens I am feeling like I want to stop everything and not paying attention to anyone anymore. But the day after I am like “fuck” I deserve to meet someone so keep yourself open to what is coming. My heart is ok, I mean I am not feeling really hurt as nothing really happen. It’s not the same as with the widow guy for exemple…don’t know if it’s really clear. But I am more and more taking step back on all these situation so I am not really investing myself enough to feel hurt and have my heart in pain.Hope it answers your question 🙂
Em
Hi Kanya
Hmm what do you mean by verry telling ?
And no i am not interestef by anyone lol that’s sad i know :/
My neighbors are old ladies only…i know all my friends and close circle…i don’t like story at work at all and they are too young (like 8 to 10 years younger than me). I am spending time with some of my male friend, we even discussed the single phase, and we are thinking it is getting more and more complicated to date. Society is becoming crazy…no more respect or courage…that’s a shared vision from my guy friends single or not…Have a good day
Em
Hi ladies,
Just to let you know, in the end I think nothing gonna happen anymore with this new guy. I’ve seen on Saturday that he removed me from the dating app and he didn’t sent any message since last Wednesday. Also I sent him out a message just to know if he was feeling better and all and he just ignored my text (while I know he read it). So I guess he wasn’t that courageous in the end as he isn’t even able to say that he won’t pursue with me. Nevermind…Even if he was ticking my checklist, physically he was a small guy and it’s not really what I liked. I was thinking that for once I could try to go over that, but in the end he choose for me that I shouldn’t lol
Have a great day 🙂
PS : the shy guy sent me out a message during the weekend aswell just to take some news. I answered but as usual nothing came up lol
Hi James
Thanks for your kind words i really apreciate. And of course i can only thanks heidi and kanya for their nice words all the time, they are really of a great help to open up and take time to analyse every situation and reaction.
Em
Hi Kanya,
Thanks much for your nice message 🙂
And yes for sure I’m trying to really check my own reaction and see how I can deal with them without taking any stupid action before really understand what’s my feelings are about and why. I shouldn’t assume anything as I don’t know what’s happening on his side. And he isn’t pushing me away, he is still nice, it’s just he is busy and sick so…I’ll see 🙂Have a good day,
Em
Hi Heidy,
Thanks for your message.
In fact it’s not like we are not talking at all, it’s more I am under the impression he is less talking. But in the meantime I think I feel that because before meeting we were talking on the app and I wasn’t seeing when he was connected or not. Now we are talking on WhatsApp because after we met I proposed to talk over the phone and not the app and he agreed. So I guess it was already like that before, it’s just that on wahtsapp you can see if people were connected or not.
Also yesterday was a complicated day, I had some vandalism on my parking so I was a bit frustrated, this and in addition this feeling he was less talking was too much lol
But we spoke yesterday, I even shared with him my parking issue, and he was sad for me. This morning I was better and he told me I had the good spirit and all. So I think it’s just me freaking out alone due to what happen earlier….
As I said I’ll just let things go and wait for him to feel better. As you said I don’t see the point for making that much effort for meeting me, agreed after that to share phone numbers and don’t follow through…
Especially because I know he is busy as he only have one day free per week due to his work and study, I shouldn’t feel like that 🙂Hahahaha 🙂 For me it’s ok to speak about his job. I have technical background so I can speak about anything. Of course I won’t go deep in the math things but I can understand what he does lol Also I don’t think he will go deep in his job for now, he told me he has a confidentiality agreement with the French army so…lol it helps not to have to talk too much about it 😉 lol
Have a good day
Em
Hi Heidi,
Nothing plan yet…i joked that i should pay him a drink for all the support he provided me while i was writing my big report and was a bit stress about it for work. But when i said that he told me about his bad cold…
I don’t know if it’s because of this or something else but he seems to be less present now. So i let things go…
I am trying not to think too much about it and take it as it comes…but i am a bit sad…maybe because of the pressure goinf down and all and now i was thinking i might have more time to give it a chance and i am not too sure anymore about what i thought was going well with him.
He is working on gps for plane both industry and sometime for the army. He is going back to school for mathematics and mecanics courses. It’s for his job.
And we are living like 8kms from each other so quite close by.Em
Hi Heidi,
He is fun, he can talk about anything and doesn’t seem to be a judging kind of person, he is ok to share personal things, which means for me that he is able to invest himself, he is doing sports and also meditation which is kind of align with my own activities, he loves to travel as I do, he is working and seems “brave” (lol) as he is going back to school in order to learn more and evolve in his work, he also has a nice job, he is a family guy, he seems serious in his relationship, he is attentive as far as I see, he seems to be a simple guy not a show off or too much attract by money and all…
That’s what I noticed from our discussion but of course it’s just the beginning so let see if I still think all this after 🙂Have a good day
Em
Hi Both,
I hope he will aswell 🙂
We discussed a lot so I know that he has checked a lot of things on my “Wishlist” lol and the fact that he surprised me was a plus for sure lol For now he apparently get a bad cold lol so don’t know when we will meet again…In fact it’s not that I had no expectations, it’s more that I wasn’t sure he will make any move. Because from the conversation we had, as I just said he was meeting a lot of my requirements lol
And I know for sure he wants a real relationship and want to settle and have kids in the future. It’s just that because of his studies he knows it’s not perfect timing, even if he really wished that. He is a serious guy, he is 34 as me but had 2 long relationship of of 10 years and of 6 years and he seems to know what he wants for once !
I’m still busy for sure but more on private life (pole dance, dance class, meeting friends and family) than on my work which is much more better lol
Have a great day,
Em
Hello Ladies,
I’m sorry it’s been a while since I sent you updates…I Was overloaded with work and it was a pretty hard period there !
Feeling better now and going back on track 🙂
On the love side … No more news from the “***hole” guy (I don’t remember the nickname we gave him lol) and the shy one neither…But as I said I was so busy that I didn’t pay attention to all of this. I was a bit discussing with a guy on an app, he was really supportive and nice. We discussed a lot and shared a lot but I was under the impression he didn’t wanted to meet. I mean he told me he spoke to some girl but never made the step to meet them in person so I was thinking he wouldn’t do it with me either…But I was wrong ! He knew I was really busy during weekdays, and on Saturday he surprised me by coming in my town while I was thinking he was in classes (he is going back to school on Friday and Saturday in addition of his current job). In the end he left his class earlier because he knew that Saturday evening I was going out for my birthday and he sent me message like “can you help me to figure out what I can bring to a friend” and I was like…”that’s not really precise why are you meeting her ? for which occasion ? Do you know her taste” and he answered “I don’t know much her taste it’s for a snack” and I was like “hmm what ? you’re a weird friend” lool and just after he sent me “have you seen how close we are right now” and you know I was coming back from my dance class so I was laying on my couch almost sleeping I didn’t took my shower and all…so I was like “what ? is he really close ? Oh shit but is he here to meet me ?” lool And he told me ok I am at this supermarket do you know it ?” and it was a supermarket at the entrance of my residence…lol so I took a quick shower I put some clothe on and went to meet him lool
He invited me to have a hot chocolate and we discussed during 2hours we had lot of fun and laugh…he is a really nice guy.
We are still talking since then he told me it was a nice “rendez-vous”. I joked with him letting him know that I was sleeping just before his message and all…lol It was a really fun way to meet and really not plan one ! but I had fun…Have a good day ladies !
Em
