[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Haha you might less love what I’m gonna tell you…But I had to cancel my pole class not because I wanted to meet him but because I my leg injury is back and I had too much pain during my Tuesday class so I told my trainer I needed to rest a bit. I wasn’t comfortable doing pole at all and even afraid of making things worse. But I didn’t cancel because of him but really for my legs. I even went to see a doctor yesterday morning so I have some check-up to do.

I told him pretty late in the evening (around 11pm) that in the end I wasn’t going to the pole class the next due to this injury (he was aware about it because I told him when we were at our ski weekend – he even said I needed to see a second doctor if the first one didn’t find anything because my pain was weird lol) so if he was still available it was ok. He directly said ok 🙂 So we went for dinner yesterday evening and he gave me my plaids but forgot my cheese (I left cheese from the mountain at his place forgot to take them and he wanted to meet yesterday to give it back to me and he forgot lol).

We didn’t spoke about Valentine’s Day, because we spoke about his teeth (so he broke it because he took a backlash with his fist because the drill slipped – not too sure about this translation lol) , his house, my flat (I am gonna change some windows and shutter at my place) and my mom’s house (she is also building her house and face issues with it). So lots of stuff around building loool and then we also discuss about fireman life when he joined and all, and also his next exams to come in 2/3 weeks. So I know we won’t meet much during these next week as he will have to work.

We are meeting again this Saturday, so I’m gonna send him a reminder about my cheese lol we are planning to go for a movie (we wanted yesterday evening but the timing wasn’t good) and dinner. In the end I was thinking just to bake him chocolate/vanilla biscuit, same I gave him for Christmas and he loved them, for Valentine. But I’ll see if I have time to bake lol no pressure 😀 and I’ll see to talk about Valentine during the Saturday evening.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

It is great in fact not to be driven by sex…but at the same time a bit more would be nice aswell lool
He is really an affectionate type of guy. He loves to have contact with me always lol
Everytime we were going to bed, for a nap or night sleep he is taking my legs between his (to ensure I’m not running away maybe ? loool)
Or he puts his arm under my head even if I’m pretty sure it might be paining after sometime to have my head like that but still he keeps it 🙂
So yes it’s really great and it feels so good 😀

For the teeth I don’t know, he will explain it when we will meet…In fact he already broke this teeth while he was young so it was a “fake one” that got broken again…But yes he fixed it during all Friday day…

And yes “only” 3 months 🙂
I guess we found a good flow yes. Yesterday he was so nice, he went to ikea and looked for the plaid I requested so he even took the time to take picture of all the plaids he saw to ensure he was buying the one I wanted lool

Today he asked me if we could plan movie tomorrow night but I told him I had my pole dance class so suggested Thursday or Friday and he told me he has family diner on Thursday and he is working Friday night (guard shift for him) so he directly proposed to meet Saturday.
I now know we are not celebrating Valentine’s Day but that’s better like that lol I don’t like it much as I said and I wouldn’t have know if I needed to buy a present or do something…which is better !

So yes no rushing, just enjoying when we can and not upset time when we can’t 🙂

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

Sorry for not answering earlier…I didn’t get the alert about your reply ! And I was thinking it was “weird” that you didn’t checked and answered as you were dying to know what would happen looool I can definitely picturing you as a girlie interviewer for all details lol

Yes it was really a great weekend and we were pretty aligned and everything was simple and going smoothly !

For the ski we were pretty much the same level, he is just going faster than me because not afraid at all (but he felt twice and I didn’t loool). Otherwise it was really great and we enjoyed to ski together, every time we were on the chair lift we were just hugging and kissing loool and same at the balneo he was always hugging me and playing with me kissing agreeing on taking picture even if he doesn’t like much himself on pics lol
In fact for the sexe it’s pretty weird we only had actual sex once. It was really great for sure but only once lol. Maybe the fact we were at my grandma’s place was a bit blocking… I “requested” the sex before or after a nap I don’t remember, of course he jumped on it directly but he wasn’t that much after sex itself during the weekend. He/we just spent his/our time hugging, kissing, caressing, cuddling. So in the end it was nice to be just like that and not have actual sex.

We didn’t had a chance to meet during the weekend because while working on his house he broke one of his teeth so spend sometime fixing it and then he had a friend just coming over the weekend from Canada so he met him and then he worked a bit on his house but no issue with that we were still in touch and joking by message and he sent me pics of his newly installed kitchen 🙂
Today he even went to ikea and I asked him if he could buy something for me, (at first I asked and then say no myself as I didn’t wanted him to loose time for this small thing and he insisted to do it lol). His parents are back from holidays, during our weekend he got to know that they had a scooter accident to both his mom and dad were a bit injured (nothing major fortunately).

Yesterday was our official 3 months first kiss (of course I remember and he probably don’t lol he isn’t good with date). Friday is Valentine’s Day, I’m not too much in this as it’s commercial, so I don’t know if we are gonna meet on this day or not and I am pretty sure he won’t buy present lol

Let see, will keep you posted 🙂

Have a good day

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

Sorry for the pretty late reply but I had a pretty busy end of week and then headed up to the ski and no real network there…lol

For my friend, it’s more like she didn’t say anything, thinking he would see by himself that his behaviour wasn’t appropriate but of course he didn’t…And he did it multiple time and once she finally told him it was too late to change anything…But this guy was unrespectfull..

So I guess you are dying to hear about my weekend… 😉 lol
It was GREAT. Except the weather lool we were so unlucky for that…but we spent great time together, it was really good to have time for us, to discuss, to laugh, to rest, to go to the “spa”, to ski…
In fact I went to his parent place on Friday evening to sleep there (his parent are still on holidays lol), and we left Saturday morning for the mountain, he drove all the way. We decided that he would pay for the gasoline and I would pay for the toll (it was more or less the same price). We finally reached the mountain and went directly for food shopping, it was pretty fun, like an old couple, making joke, thinking about what to eat and all (and he paid everything…)…and then finally home ! He loved the flat (my grandma’s flat). But we reached under the rain…We cooked together, had short drink to celebrate the weekend lol.
Sunday was all day rainy day, so we slept a bit late in the morning, then headed up to ski shop to rent for the next day that was supposed to be better, and in the end, we ended up at the SPA after a nap in the afternoon, then we visited a little a city center (under the rain) and we took picture together (first time we did). Then I invited him to a nice restaurant I knew. He wasn’t happy that I paid and asked me why so just told me because I wanted to. Hard to make him accept it lol
Monday, even if it was raining, we went to ski it was a nice day except the rain lol and we took picture together once again. We again cooked together in the evening and had short drink. We checked the weather for next days and saw that Tuesday would be snowing day…And Wednesday sunny day. We were supposed to come back on Tuesday evening after ski day. But as it was supposed to snow I suggested that we postponed our return to Wednesday evening and he agreed on it. So Tuesday was again rest and SPA day lol we again took pictures together. Again short drink and cooking dinner together.
Wednesday was the most beautiful day, sunny day, blue sky, amazing ski day !!! We took a lot of pictures together once again lol. We enjoyed a lot, we had great time skiing and finally we went back home after skiing during the day. He drove again for the entire road…And I slept at his parent’s place once again.
I ended up managing to split all the cost 50/50 (except the restaurant I wanted to offer). He wasn’t really happy about this but he finally agreed. He told me he had a great weekend and especially Tuesday with the weather.
We really had lot of fun during the weekend, he was teasing me and I was doing the same, we also took the time to discuss about our ex, so I finally asked him why it didn’t worked. For the girl he stayed with during 10 years, he told me she left him for another guy…and the last one he stayed with during a year, he told me that since the beginning some stuff were odd and he knew it wouldn’t worked but stayed because he still liked her as a person. But she was living with her ex and it took her more than 6 months to move out from their shared flat and then she kept on going back there to get stuff back…So in the end they broke up. We also spoke about his friends so I have a better view of his friendship. We also spoke about how he was seeing the “split” while living with someone and he gave me exemple of his friends or his own with his ex.
So in the end, it’s a positive weekend. We learn more about each other, we were align on everything (except maybe the 50/50 split lol), we had great time, fun, so we build boundaries. Tomorrow it will be exactly 3 months we met. But for this I know he won’t remember, he isn’t good with date lol
Also I know he is pretty busy with his house (as we stayed 1 day more in the mountain without any regrets from both side), so I don’t know when we will meet next time. Also his parents are gonna come back on Monday.

So let see 🙂

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya

Thanks for your message 🙂

I’m definitely gonna keep it up ! It feels so good that I would really be stupid if I was stepping back from this 🙂

Haha cool for Babel ! I can’t stop laughing when I am seeing the advertising on tv because of my sister boyfriend and his problem with the work pineapple in English 🙂 that’s family joke…but this app shows that anyone can learn lol
For the French accent it’s not really a problem, we are not well known for our capacity to learn other language neither the accent lol haha chocolate croissant in French is “pain au chocolat” (except in south of France they call it “chocolatine”) so it should be literally called “chocolate bread” see…French and their complexity because in the end, it’s a pastry not bread…crazy us !!

Thanks also for the acknowledgement, I guess also seeing one of my friend going through this situation just few weeks before I did helped me to react directly and do what I told her to (and she didn’t by the way and it kept on getting bad, she ended up quitting the guy).
For me and mister fireman it works well and for me it’s a good sign that we want to build something and we are not stopping everything every time we face a “disappointment”. We had a great day yesterday and had once again lot of fun and once again eat too much…loool
We are both really happy to go to the ski this weekend, hope we will have some sun, because for now they are announcing a bad weather…

Have a good day,

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Thanks 🙂
I guess the fact I lived for 2 years in India and did small part of my studies in England and in UCI (not for long) helped…Also I am working in English almost all day long, my boss in American so I need to speak English 🙂
I think the best way to learn French is to come in France and practice !! Also I don’t know if this app exist in US but in France there is one called “Babel” (or Babbel I don’t remember exactly) and it seems to help people learn another language quite easily.
Or you can try to watch movie or sitcom in French with English subtitle or French one (it forces you to learn more lol) maybe movie you already know in order to understand better …It helped me aswell for English 🙂

And thanks much again for your help and feedbacks 🙂

Emilie

[Emilie S]

I think it’s a mix of many things, in 2019 I have decided to focus more on myself, learn to really listen to myself, my feelings, try to understand my way of behave, think, react. So I guess yes the work I did with my coach have open my eyes on some stuff and were a first steps, also the discussion I had with you here and the article I read about the behaviour I could have earlier. So yes I think it’s all of this which lead to my change of pattern…

Looool he isn’t married yes it’s definitely a “typo” but in fact it’s mainly a bad translation from French as in French it’s literally the wife of his best friend. and I wanted to say his best friend’s wife…but I did a small mix lol

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

I think I answered just before you sent your message but I guess I answered anyway 🙂
The thing I am doing differently is at least I express my feeling for once and I am not making myself available at all cost…
So it might be what we call “being the price” ? And that’s maybe what is also helping with him to have this kind of balance in between the 2 of us.

Thanks for your message.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Yes I guess that he is trying to align when I am not available…This morning I asked what is the plan for tomorrow evening and he answered that he was sorry but he totally forgot that he had his wife’s best friend birthday tomorrow night so he couldn’t make it (which upseted me a little if I am honest lol). But he directly propose to book Sunday afternoon and go for a movie, dinner in the evening and sleeping at his place if I could. I answered that I couldn’t for the night as I have my dog and he was like oh yeah…so he said ok let’s meet for lunch and I was like yeah it doesn’t change a thing lunch or dinner and he was like “no but both” lol
I guess he figured out I was “upset” so he tried to find a compromise lool
I like the fact I didn’t had to say anything and that he proposed something else directly and all. He remembered what happened last time he cancelled last minute loool

So the change in me is that I think I am not as eager as I was before to date or be in a relationship with someone at any cost lol so my state of mind and actions change accordingly with that. I also guess that his behaviour and respect is helping a lot 🙂
I am more confident and peace about this lol

Thanks for your help by the way, you help me a lot by pointing my crazy past behaviour lool

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hello Heidi,

Yes 2 months 🙂 in fact we will almost be at 3 months while we will be at the ski weekend. And yes so far so good. I was thinking about it this morning, how “easy” it was since the beginning, without pressure – especially on my side lol, as I could have be exactly what you were saying at the end of your email about wanting to see him more and more just because it was feeling good and all. But for once no, I let the things come at their own pace and it feels really good.
I also like that I can manage not to see him sometime for 2 weeks because we didn’t plan our weekends accordingly or because I am out of town or he is, or he is busy with exam…and I am not going crazy or making stupid assumption or story about it.
I also liked that I was able not to force myself last Friday evening as I came back late and was too tired to drive and he understood it.
Same when we met this Sunday, he thought I would stay overnight with him but I didn’t plan it and I drove back home, he wanted me to stay badly but I didn’t gave up and came back home lol but everything went well and he wasn’t mad at me or so, we
we are just even more more eager to meet this Friday and spend the night and evening together…And we are definitely happy to be together during 4 full days 😀 So yes I hope it will goes well as well lool

But yes, it’s definitely refreshing after everything that happened last year…

Have a good day,

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Yes that’s a lot and yes I am the only child of my parents 🙂
No none of them met my guy yet they are not even aware…I’m not sharing much on this until I know where I’m going…I guess I’ll speak about him after our ski weekend if everything is going fine. For now, we are only meeting for a day, evening, night…so I need to see if we can handle each other for few days in a row lol
I don’t think he told his parent either…
I just came back from Malta yesterday evening, we were supposed to meet but my flight got delayed and I came back too late, and I had to go to my grandma’s place get my car and dog back so we postponed to Sunday evening as he already had a dinner planned tonight and I was busy today going to see my other grandma at the hospital…
I do love that he is handy for sure, and that’s definitely sexy lol also he knows to cook even if he liked me to cook lol
And yes he doesn’t seem easy to handle but I guess they found a way of communicating and handling that as a family…I’m sure his sisters help him to have a good relationship with female, also have a good behaviour.
For his job yes, at first when we spoke and he told me that he was fireman I almost back off due to that and then he explained he wasn’t going on fire so I was happy about that.
For the ski yes it’s first time, it’s been only 2 months we are dating lol so I don’t know when we would have been able to go earlier 😉 for the ski he seems to have a good level and I am skiing since I’m a kid so I guess we can both manage. I’ll see if we have same ability or not lol but we had to postpone our weekend to next to next week as he has something that came up for next week and can’t move it at work.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hello,

Yes there must have been some reason for such a change about Paris Fireman and the other one but I didn’t check too much lol
For my superhero yes you understood correctly, he is not going for fires in the city except if it’s really a huge one (like the one in Notre Dame). Also, in case there would be an terrorist attack like the ones in Paris few years ago, he is called aswell. Otherwise he is in charge of all the Fireman barrackment and also building where all Fireman servers are (for emergency phone call and all). So he is in charge of maintaining every system and building. So it goes for electricity, water, air conditioning, building itself…

Yeah apparently they seem all close from each other. For his mom, I’m not too sure, he told me she is a depressed kind of person so it’s hard to handle. She is doing some drama…But apparently he managed to take a bit of distance with that but younger he had some struggle with her, that’s why also I told you he was defending his sister (when they were dating guy, his mom was a pain in the ass with them). So I guess he is closer to his dad than his mom yes.

I have good relationship with both my parents, but it hasn’t been always the case. My parents got divorced when I was 5 (I think I told you this already) and I felt guilty about it. When I was young I was still close with both of them, and as a teenager I was a bit bored of my father, especially because I didn’t like my stepmother at that time, and my brothers and sisters were younger and my stepmother was always putting them first and I had the feeling my dad wasn’t really defending me…And at the same time he was too protective (more when I wanted to go out or so not in front of my stepmother) like if I was a little girl (even after my 20th…). But after my grandpa (my father’s dad) passed away, we became closer and now we are really closer also when he got divorced with my stepmother lol it was a relief for me (and for him). With my mom I never had any issue discussing with her, we are close but not “friend” kind of mom/girl relationship. We do speak and all but she is still my mom lol. For my brothers and sisters (I have 5 stepbrothers and sisters in fact). 1 sister and 1 brother on my mom side and 2 sisters and 1 brother on my dad side. At first when we were younger it was complicated because I am really older than them so when I was a teenager they were small kid making lots of noise and all lol but now we are also closer because the age differences isn’t present as it used to be.

I see what you mean for past relationship. I’ll see next time we meet if we discuss about it. It’s just that if it comes in the discussion that’s ok, but I’m not gonna bring that up I think. We already discussed a little about my ex because I did some work in my flat (in fact I broke everything and build it up back myself). And I just said that I used to live with him and he helped me a little but not much because he didn’t knew how to do it and didn’t liked it either. (That’s what I like from my super hero he is manual type of guy !!). Same he already mentioned sometime his ex-girlfriend while speaking about a travel or a night he felt asleep in a train and she was upset after him and all.
But apart from that we didn’t really discussed about the why we broke up and why it didn’t work.

We didn’t manage to meet this weekend…we assumed that we were free, but of course not on the same day :/ so we will meet next week, because I’m off to Malta all the week for my company kick-off. And next to next week, we are going to ski together for 4 days 🙂

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Yes lol it fit perfectly well 🙂

I don’t know if it really make sense… Because classical type of Military they have a job until their retirement. “Paris Fireman” are contracted Military so they are not under the same rules and can be fired at some point if they don’t go up in rank.
And the other fireman they are civil servants of the community (French state) so they have their job until their retirement. IT has been decided in 1811 that Paris Fireman (and one other city in France “Marseille”) would remain military and not the other ones…
As usual French stupid rules lool
And for his rank, I think the rank itself won’t change much for his specific job as he is already a security multiple sites director. As far as he told me he likes his job and the rank he needs to reach is just not to be fired and higher salary but it won’t change his current role. It’s just a “title”.

For your question about relationship and the past…I don’t really know why I don’t like to speak about it…Maybe because I don’t want to live in the past so I don’t want to look back and just see the present and future. I understand that it’s good to know it to know what still needs to be heal or have healed and grew but I don’t know…I’ll see if I have a chance to speak about it with him again.

For the letter yes exactly when it runs out, it starts over 🙂 I know it only for pets and never heard for anything else…I thought it was only cat and dog lol but when I checked yesterday I read it was for all animals 😉

He speaks nicely about his sister. Apparently they seems to have been close while kid and teenager, he told me he defends his sisters with his mother when she was a pain in the ass with them lol. (His father wasn’t always home, he was also a Paris Fireman, and once he got too old remain on the field he became a security advisor for a French Palace. It was pretty far from his home and he was sometime working during the night and was staying at the hotel so not always home.)
Now, one of them live in Britain so not too close and he is the godfather of his niece. She also have a boy. He seems to like them a lot and he is visiting them once in a while, (he was there just before we met). She didn’t came in Paris for Christmas because she was with her husband family. And his other sister, she used to live in Martiniqua for some years so he went there for multiple holidays, and since she is back in France she is leaving something like 45minutes from his place and he is seeing her more. He was there for his niece birthday, for Christmas Eve, they came to see him and his parents for Christmas. He helped his sister and brother in law with they own house building (before his own lol). So yeah he seems to have good relationship with them.
And both his sisters are still offering him gift for Christmas. He is the only adult getting gift. He thinks it’s because he is the only one who doesn’t have kid and he is giving gift to his nephew and nieces…Or maybe it’s just because he is the youngest and his sisters like to offer gift lol

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

I don’t know if it’s numerology…I just know that in France each year correspond to a letter in the Alphabet…Like this you know at least the year your dog (or any animal in fact) was born lol I guess it helps when animals are changing of owner and they loose papers or so. Because before it was only paper now it’s numerical data…Just a tradition here 🙂

He is the 3rd one, he as 2 sisters.

Before me, he was with a girl for a year (and he was single since 8 months when we met) and before her he was with a girl for 10 years. We didn’t spoke much more about it so I don’t know why both relationship didn’t work. I just know that he likes to take his time, he told me this since the beginning which is nice. But I just don’t really know how to come back on this subject now, even if we are discussing a lot, of many things, I feel like he doesn’t want to speak about it that much…And I don’t want to speak much about mine either…Past is the past I guess ?

For his career, in fact he explained me that “Paris Fireman” are military (it’s not true for the other fireman in France). And when they reach a certain age, they need to be at a certain level with a certain title otherwise they are fired from the Army and the “Paris Fireman”. He is already a chief officer but he need to “upgrade” as he is 38 otherwise he will be fired. His post won’t change but his title yes. I was pretty chocked when he told me they could be fired.

Yeah I like to call him like that, because he is a superhero…for me lol a Fireman is a superhero !! And he does have superman’s body loool
Also I’m so impressed by his capacity to work on his house and all what he does that I found this nickname accurate lol.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Yeah it’s not too complicated but I guess it’s same as for US depend from where you come from…Of course you also need a passeport for your dog but it’s easy to get if you chip your dog (which is mandatory in France).
In fact I didn’t choose her name, they gave it to me with this name but I liked it. Only thing is that according to her birth year she should have a name starting with a G…but never mind 🙂

Haha yes he has 2 sisters, but I don’t think he told them about me…In fact I don’t know I didn’t asked if he told someone or not.

I already called him “superhero” twice lol but every time he said he isn’t one…I might keep that one lol

Hmm I don’t know exactly for his house, because he would have other exam session so he said he won’t move in at least before 2 or 3 months…And it’s about 1h drive.

Emilie

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