[Emilie S]

Hi there,

Just a quick update.
We didn’t meet over the weekend as he was sick. He sent me out a message on Saturday morning telling me he had been sick all night and that he preferred to let me know early that it might not be possible due to his health to meet in the evening. So I told him I was sorry for him and that I understood perfectly as health should come first. I told him to take rest and that if he was feeling better on Sunday we could maybe meet in the evening.
After, he asked me how my week was, so I told him it was good and that it busy with work, I told him I went quickly to my office and then I told him I faced some issues with my curtains rod that fell, that my washing machine had leaked so I had to mop up and drain it manually and even by checking the filter and all…I did not understand where the problem came from. And I laughed after, saying that by rereading it was not so good this week finally lol. He tried to help me a bit with my washing machine, but I already tried what he suggested so…still don’t know what the problem is lol. At least I am proud of myself, I managed to repair my curtains rod lol

On Sunday I went to see a friend for breakfast (and birthday), we eat 2 meter from each other lool, during lunch I had a virtual call with my family as it was my aunt’s birthday and during the afternoon I went to my best friend’s place for tea, and same we were at least a meter from each other lol (and came back home only around 9pm lol)
Even if it’s not totally friendly meeting (due to social distance and not hugging and all lol) it felt good to see my friends and have a bit of “normal life”. I really needed it after the week I had…lol

Of course I am a bit sad of not seeing my guy, but I wasn’t lying or making him just happy when I told him I understood and that his health was first 🙂
In the end, I am also thinking that I might have a bit overreacted about his way of answering last time, but writing message is sometime complicated to understand because you have no voice tone and all…Also I really had a hard week, and I was feeling I needed some support…for once lol

I asked him how he was feeling today, he is better but still having intestinal pain, but at least he managed to sleep during the night.
I’m not proposing to meet again, I guess he will when he will feel better…In fact not totally sure as I don’t know if he would invite himself at my place lol (as we can’t do anything else until things really re open). Let see …

Hope you are doing good, and are still safe and healthy !

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi

Yes they are going out there but now, for public transportation they put again some rules, asking for proof from your company that you need to go to the office during rush hours otherwise they won’t allow you to access the train…Not sure it would work (especially in my area because there is no barrier to avoid you to access the train…But let see !
But yes I guess “worst” are teenage where I am living, because high school and college are still close so they are walking around by group without respecting social distancing and even avoiding you to keep your social distancing…
But in the end, at least in the morning I see less people outside than during the lockdown..But I can see lots of car are not there so people are going to work probably…Don’t know…I just prefer to avoid for now to go out, in fact without having bar, restaurant, parks, movie theatre open…I don’t really have anything much to do outside (not more than one I was doing by walking my dog and going to the grocery lol).
Let see in the coming days / weeks how it evolves…

I am feeling mad because I don’t like his answer…I mean if he already had a plan for Saturday he could have tell me directly or telling me that he needed to check to make some changes. But his answer is really feeling like we will meet only if he doesn’t have anything better to do. And I don’t like. The reason I am mad is not totally about being rejected or losing him, it’s more about the fact that for me it’s unrespectful to answer like that. I don’t know if it’s clear lol because I’m sure in the end we will meet (maybe not this weekend to be honest) but I would have prefer a direct clear answer, to avoid hoping to meet him and maybe in the end being disappointed not to see him. So I pull away of the excitement because I don’t want to have hope. I don’t really know if it’s clear…But I am more mad on the communication style than anything else.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Yes I guess it would be easier but maybe more annoying lol
Also, I’m not thinking I am always right so it’s good to see other people point of view for sure lol
It’s just a small frustration because of the period itself I guess, otherwise I wouldn’t really bother, but it’s such an uncertain time that I don’t want to have negativity or negative thoughts.

For my guy I’m not too sure to be honest if we will meet or not. While I wrote the message here, I was asking him if we could meet during the weekend, and he answered “yes it should be possible lol” and then I told him I was happy to see him, asked first if he preferred to meet on Friday evening or Saturday, but I didn’t let him the time to answer because I figured out it would be easier for me on Saturday night (I have a late meeting on Friday, and Virtual Dance class on Saturday morning so I was thinking it would be complicated). And his answer was “lol I’ll keep you posted then” (with a blink emoji). So that’s why I said “he is playing with my nerves”. But I was taking it as a fun way at this specific time. So I just answered him that he was a “mean guy” (with a lol) and then he answered “But I will see for Saturday night !” which I found less funny. In fact I had (and still have) 2 thoughts about this answer, first was, maybe he already had a plan and he is trying to see if he can change it (which is the positive way) and the second one is he will come if he doesn’t have anything better to do (which is the negative way). But to be honest, I am more on the 2nd option right now, and feeling upset, and the fact he didn’t show much more interest to meet or not as much as I am, makes me feel I don’t want to see him in the end because I am upset. We didn’t spoke since these message (last Monday evening) and I am not gonna ask him again if he will come or not. I am living my life right now.

But to answer your question, when I wrote the message here, I didn’t had specific concern I was just happy to meet him again and was thinking he was again making some fun of me or joke about not saying directly ok for Saturday, and I was seeing that he was communicating a bit more again so no I was happy. But after his last message, my mood and mindset changed a bit, and we could say that I am “concern” because I don’t really know if we are still on the same page or not.

I can understand your client, even if I am sure your boss is doing great with the cleaning and all, you never know what would happen during your commutation to the Gym and all…For me it’s better to wait a bit to see how things evolve with the reopening. Here it’s a bit crazy…People are going out so much, yesterday I had an appointment with one of my friend who is having a beauty shop, I wanted so much to do my nails and skincare lol so I took my car and the road was pretty crowded, then I headed up to my office just to get my screen and a better chair to work from home with a better set up, but same there were a lot of cars. I saw from some pictures that public transportation are pretty crowded aswell and that people can’t respect social distancing…So I am really afraid of the 2nd waves…
For us, were are not supposed to be allowed to be more than 10 people in total at the same time in any place. (not true in supermarket I guess but there is still control, lines and all before entering).
Hairdresser reopen (the one I wanted to go doesn’t have any available spot before mid June lol), Beauty shop are pretty full aswell, and then I don’t really check what reopen. I am staying home, not really changing much from during the lockdown right now, except what I did yesterday.
Also my Pole teacher asked if we wanted to start the class again, but I told her I prefer not to before June at least. Because for me it’s ok I am coming with my car, but the other girls they take the metro, so I don’t want to take any risk. And not sure doing pole with a Mask would be pretty comfortable. Also the room is not that big, so not much social distancing possible…

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

Sorry I thought I already answered to your message…
I know they love and care for me but it’s just that sometime they are not really acting the way I want them to lol
And not sure they really feel influenced or they just think I am crazy or that I prefer to be blind…Let see for the enlightenment 🙂
But at least for me as you said it’s really feel better and I am stronger and more confident.

By the way, things seem to get “better” not that they were really bad but at least since the reopening has been announced it seems my guy is speaking a bit more and sending again more messages. We are planning to meet this weekend even if for now he is playing with my nerves saying “it should be possible” but as I said I think he is just playing with my nerves lol

Apart from that I remain a bit lockdown in the end, don’t want to expose myself too much for now, I feel it’s too early…

Hope everything is fine on your side,

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya

Thanks for your message. To be honest i let them know my point of view and the reason why and they reply « i just don’t want you to be hurt » so i answer « thinking negatively won’t help me not to be hurt and might even drive me to be hurt by focusing on things i have no clue about and i prefere to remain positive and focus on myself and my well being ». And they keep the « ok ok but i just don’t want you to be hurt, don’t be too nice »…which is an infinite loop so in the end i just let them know the discussion is closed and i don’t want to speak about it anymore or not at all if they keep on doing it.

So yesterday evening they announced as i was thinking that Paris area is in red so lockdown should continue there…But wait and see on May 7th where we will be.

And yes we all need summer but not sure the covid-19 is thinking that way 😅

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

Yes I guess you are right about the governments setting and resseting things…To be honest we are a bit afraid that if they start to reopen in may we may end up in lockdown again in June…So not too sure what would be the best option. And I think e-learning is good for some people as you can move on your on rythme but it’s not working with everyone as you need to be pretty motivated yourself and keep going. Also it depends of your parents, if they are able to help you or not. Which isn’t the case of everyone…also you need to have the logistics in order to manage it properly (good internet connexion, computer, quiet room). Because being in the middle of your living room for a short period is ok but I guess at some point if you don’t have a quiet and private room it might be pretty complicated to focus on your school lessons. (even though when I was a kid I didn’t like to study in my bedroom I was doing it in the living room with TV on and music on…I’m not able to focus when it’s too quiet and it’s still true lol I need to work with music or a bit of sound but not someone talking to me just a background noise lol).

Yes I hope for the best on our relationship, I would really like things to work, because for once I am really feeling good in this relationship without struggling much (except when too many people around me are getting negative lol).

I’m ok to work from home, I like the fact I am not loosing my time during 2hours of transportation a day, I can manage my day as I want, take break for Yoga or sport practice. I can also take care of my flat and stuff during the day and have some real rest during the weekend lol.
But I would miss a bit the social connexion at some point. For now they plan to have 20% of people in the office so I would be allowed to go once in a while in the office I think. And I might choose to go on my Pole class day because it’s near my office. But let see 🙂
For now I’m not thinking about it too much about it because I don’t think it will be the case before 2 months at least 🙂

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

For the first opening phase I’m not too sure here to be honest…Waiting for their updates on May 7th. I think they wanted to give it a try but now it seems that some symptoms are seen also for child so they might decide not to open school and all again…don’t really know. But one thing I am pretty sure is that Paris area and suburb might remain in lockdown as it’s where we have the huge risk of people getting sick …But once again we will know it next week only.

Yes it was good to have this talk over the phone 🙂 For now all phone shop are closed so will depend when it will be open I guess. Also I think he doesn’t want to fix it until he finishes his house work as he already broke one phone while working on his house just the day he got it lol
I don’t want to “set up” this weekly call. By that I mean I prefer this to be impromptu than a planned one. Don’t know if you understand what I mean by this but I feel it’s always better when not plan as you are not expecting anything so it’s always good lol
That’s how I have my best party or meeting with friends 🙂
In any case, planning for a dinner over the phone isn’t an option as he is still living with his parents he is having dinner with them….But I will try to figure out something about games 🙂
I just hope we will be able to start meeting again after May 11th even if it won’t be a total opening and that he will come to visit me (I wish I could go to meet him but until he is with his parents it’s not really an option lol)

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi

Hope you are all well.

Today our gouvernement announced the lockdown rules but it will be confirmed only May 7th if it goes or not depending if the number of death decrease or not…
And they said it will be a « zipcode by zipcode ».
They announced that we will be allowed to commute in a perimeter of 100kms but not allowed to cross zipcode except for work purpose or family emergency. They might allowed some shop to open but still no bar or restaurant neither than cinema theatre or concert area or so…they strongly advised that company should still work remotely atleast for next 3 weeks after the « end » of the lockdown.

So wait and see, my company advised that we should remain remote until end of year except if it was really not possible for logistical reason but they would allow only 20% of people in our office.

Weird weird period…Things are never gonna be the same…

On another topic, so yesterday evening i told you i follow your advise and sent my guy a message to have a call. He replied late evening as his phone was dead lol and he proposed to call today. So we just spent more than an hour over the phone (no facetime with his broken phone) but still it Was nice to hear his voice to discuss about everything, he told me he almost finished his house, he has even started new things not planned inside but he is waiting for some delivery to definitely finish his kitchen but not sure of when it would be…
Then we spoke about the lockdown situation, everyone is fine on his side so it’s great. At the end I told him that i hope We would be able to meet after May 11th…as it been a bit long since we met even longer than when he was studdying for his exams and he said yes probably. So i asked about his exam results because i was remembering he should have got them by the end of this month and he told me « oh yes i passed » i was sooo excited for him i congratulated him. So we spoke about next steps and once again he shared his captain is an asshole 😅 but atleast he succeed and he would evolve in a minimum of 4 years and max 10 But he needs to get the title before he turns 47 so within 8 years…fingers crossed ! And then he can go up again but he has all the necessary exams 🙂 he just needs his boss approval 🙁
Apart from that he told me he is tored of this situation and about our gouvernement and all…so i guess it really explain why he is a bit more silent.
So it was a bit as usual when we speak, he made some fun of me, speaking about lots of stuff, it was feeling good.
Let see now 🙂

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya

Thanks for your answer and for sharing your thoughts and advice. It feels good to see someone more positive and not being the only one trying to keep a positive view on this ☺️

I sent him out the message you suggested, but seems his phone is « dead » for now…Battery issues as always…will keep you posted 🙂

Have a good end of day

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Ladies,

Hope you’re doing good.

I had a lazy weekend lol. Spent a lot of time rewatching Harry Potter after reading a fun theory around Hagrid being a Death Eater. But you can’t really see it in the movie so I’ll have to read the 7 books again lol I can remain a bit busy until the end of the lockdown

I just wanted to share with you that during the weekend 4 friends of mine asked me how it was going with my guy. I told them it was going ok but that I didn’t had any news since a week (and I still didn’t get any today so an entire week).

Even if I am ok with the space I am feeling a bit sad today, mostly I guess because people spoke about it yesterday and were telling me “he seems not to miss you and all” and being pretty negative around this behaviour. I told them I wasn’t seeing it that way and I didn’t wanted to have negative thoughts around this especially while we are still lockdown. But I guess having so many people telling me it wasn’t normal has in the end impacted me a bit today I am feeling a bit low.

I don’t have news from him since a week but I didn’t contacted him either. So it’s not like if he was ignoring me while I was trying to reach out to him but he is just not initiating the conversation…I was thinking I should wait for him to reach out as I was initiating most of the last discussion we had but maybe it’s stupid of me right now. This situation is so not normal that I am not able to think really rationally right now. I’d like to understand if everything is ok on his side and also “point out” that he is not initiating but without making him feel I am mad (it’s not the case) but just wondering…I don’t know how to word it so he doesn’t take it as a reproach. But a full week without any news it’s the first time. Since the beginning of the lockdown it was maximum 3/4 days maybe. He was so attentive before all this lockdown situation, always sending a message at least once a day to find out how I was and all that it is making things weird now. (And I saw him online on WhatsApp so I know he is alive and seems not to be in hospital or so).

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Hahaha yes it does feel good to see my abs coming back out and also to see new muscle appear on my shoulder or arms that I’m never really training (except during pole class but never directly) so I finally see some improvement there aswell ! It’s pretty cool 🙂 but I have a lot of “stiffness” I guess it’s the English word lol
I am stretching a lot with Yoga and Mobility exercices though but still it’s there ! lol
And now I am also back on “diet” so my stomach and my entire body feels better 🙂

I did cleans sometime but not right now, just eating better. But in the end I didn’t had that much chocolate, just one Kinder Egg and I still have some at my place but not touching it for now lol (always like that with me, I told people to avoid buying me chocolate because I’m not eating much in the end – I still have some from last year…) Good luck with your cleaning and body haha

For us, we don’t have any update yet for the end of the lockdown that should happen on May 11th. So we are waiting for the next communication that should happen I guess mid next week as usual last minute communication…But they are planning to open creche and schools starting May 11th but with smaller classes and to be honest I don’t know how it would work, but in order to allow people to go back to work for company that cannot work remotely.
Everything related to sport, restaurant, bar, movietheatre, theatre are gonna remain close until mid July as per the last announce but it may change we don’t really know…
Until we receive enough masks for everyone I don’t see how the situation can change.

My boss (Head of People) told me we might remain remote until the end of the year if it was ok for us. But this morning our CEO said we might go back in the office at one point but only few of us to keep social distance, and no more food will be provided, lift could be used only for 2 persons at the same time (which seems not possible to achieve) they also said they will provide masks or so but we really don’t know yet. Also lots of us are commuting to the office with Public transport so it’s also a risk. So I don’t know I think we will have more information on this while we will have new announcement from the government…

And I guess it’s the same for us in France, there is a lack of trust in the figures, but also in the government so…situation isn’t really good. I think people just want to be allowed to go out but not sure they will go again in public spaces…

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

I am sure you might be pretty busy with tele-health. Is it generic ones or linked to covid ?

Your daughter seems fun lol for me it’s not that I would turn into chocolate because I am not eating that much but more like I could break a tooth again and all our dentist are closed for now…so not the right moment lol
But it’s ok I didn’t broke anything and I had a little chocolate to enjoy a bit the Easter period !
Now I am back on my “diet” lol I can now see my abs coming out lool and even if my weight isn’t moving much I am definitely more tonic 🙂

So the lockdown has been positive for my body shape loool

Have a great week,

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

Yes I guess we are laughing a lot and have lot of fun while speaking. Of course he is making much more fun of me than I do…Lately he was making fun by telling me not to eat too much chocolate for Easter in order not to break another tooth lol I told him I bought the kids one so it should be ok but he suggested me to put it in the microwave just in case lol and he was making fun of me because in the kids one I had some toys lol
I just made fun of him because he saw a huge sale on a SPA and didn’t took it directly and of course when he went back the day after they were all gone lol I tried to go in the same shop close to my place just in case but sadly they were no spa at all…
I hope he is giving credit to it, on my side I am.

For what you describe about masks and shields it’s the same here in France. No choice as we don’t have one from our government… But it’s not as good as the “real one” it’s at least better than nothing. I am happy to see that there is a lot of support from the community during this hard time for everyone. I can’t make masks myself I don’t have any material neither than the machine to do it 🙁

To pass the time I am reading, doing cardio and yoga and also watching Netflix lol I am playing games with my friends and family and of course I am working 🙂

And at work as I am leading the charity program I am working on different type of activities that could be convert into donation. In US we raised money for “Feeding America” and we matched the amount thanks to the program I am leading. It’s nice to see such kind of involvement and support within my own company aswell 🙂

And you ?

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya

Thanks much ! Yes it’s fun to see the differences but one thing is that here we don’t have enough masks for medical staff so almost no one has in the street except some « lucky » people who bought some earlier…

And yes i can see the changes but i think it’s also thanks to him because he makes me feel ok with this situation. He is also different from the other guys so it helps a lot i guess. We spoke a lot yesterday and once again lot of fun and joke 😅 of course lot on myself but i can’t make him stop i laughing too much about what he says. Which feel pretty good right now considering this situation.
I like that even if we don’t speak much everytime we do it’s just for positive things. And some talk around futur things we could do even if sometime it’s just stupidity it feels good.

I can understand how hard it is for a 14years old not to understand the social distancing i can see it when i walk my dog but it’s still a need 😅.

Stay safe !

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

The strict hours for running or exercise isn’t a good thing to be honest i feel it’s even worst because there is much more people outside at the same time…of course while running no social distancing and when you breath heavily because you are running it’s as per my own point of view worst than anything…
I feel that where i am living people are thinking they are stronger than the virus as they are still not respecting the lockdown…
I think it would be better to forbide any running activities than this solution…
I am only practicing indoor sport and it’s morr than enough…Of course i am lucky enough to have my dog and walking outside for her but i am going less and less outside to respect as much as i can the lockdown. It s just i can’t avoid my dog to pee and poo lol otherwise i would remain home. Even if it’s sunny outside right now but i will have to go out when raining and of course at this moment no one will be outside no more runner i am sure. People are really dumb and i am a bit tired about that lol
The situation you describe from the mountain is a bit the same as here in parks so they closed it and forbide the access to the « Seine » (water boarder) but i am sure people are still going there.
Even i see some of my friend who arr lockdown alone going to their parent’s place even if they shouldn’t or my brother’s girlfriend coming to his place now. I can understand it’s hard to be alone but i feel like it’s pretty selfish to act like that…
Nevermind i am ok with my own behavior which is for me the best lol
For my guy it’s not always easy not to talk to him but when i see how i feel about feeling pressured by some of my friends to jump on calls or zoom i directly change my mindset lol
He was working this week until this morning and he isn’t supposed to work next week except in emergency case so he will continue to do painting in his house.
My dad’s friend is back at home so it’s a big relief !
Back to everyone ok now 🙂
Have a good day and happy Easter !
Emilie

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