[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

We met yesterday, he came at my flat to help me with the floor. I wasn’t feeling nervous or anything about seeing him again. I was more anxious about my floor loool He is SOOOO perfectionist even more than I am, so he really took it seriously and did an amazing job, but because of that it’s taking more time than expected so we will go again next weekend.

It went pretty well to be honest, we had good fun and still lot of complicity as we used to. He even spanked me while I was cleaning the floor from all the dust made while cutting the parquet. Which to be honest surprised me and I wasn’t able to say anything but “baaaah” and he laugh even more of this…So yes we had good day.

I offered him lunch to thank him for his help so we discussed about his house and where he was on all this, so he is currently cleaning it in order to move there soon. And we exchanged some messages after because I need to buy some supply in addition for next week.

Today I’m going to the flat with my sister to do some cleaning in the bathroom, toilet and kitchen and like this hopefully we will be able to finish the flat next week and then I can rent it !!

Enjoy your Sunday,

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

I think I wasn’t really clear about my tears…I cried while doing the painting and it was more because I spent so much time on it and also involving my parents and it wasn’t perfect that I was disappointed and I was so tired also that I cried. That was the first time I did. Then I cried on Monday while my parents left and after everything came in this tears, BUT I didn’t cry because he didn’t asked me how I was. I just noticed he didn’t and it was more like “ok so you don’t care” but in the end I didn’t cried for it. It was more the opposite I came back to the state where I wanted to move on. I spoke with him on Wednesday as I needed to buy some stuff for the floor and also today to confirm that in the end we will go tomorrow (as I wanted at first…like if he didn’t wanted to agreed on this too fast..lol)
Nevermind I’m happy that we do the floor tomorrow and I hope we will manage it in one day (like this I can rent it early September) but he said I am maybe too optimistic and that we would have to finish it another time. To be honest I still find his behaviour a bit weird, if I would be him (like the one who broke up) I would like to finish as fast as I can and not see him again. But I am definitely not him lol
I guess it’s the difference between women and men, for us when it’s over… it’s over…? At least that’s what happened every time I was the one breaking up.

And I agree I definitely need more time to heal. I guess that being so much busy didn’t really helped me to go through all the process. It felt good at first to be busy, and with family but at the same time it was just avoiding me to really face my feelings.

And I think it’s not that I don’t want to deal with guys right now, but this specific guy I mention I don’t lol. I’m ok with him as a friend but not comfortable for anything else, I am not attracted.

And I agree as well I am hurt, because as you said rejection is really hard to deal with. I don’t really know for my heart, because I don’t think I was in love with him, but I was more ready to open up for falling and to try building something for the future yes. Not at first as I told you, but then I wanted to (after ski holidays). And I think when I started to think that way, that’s when he started to be distant…Also covid came right after…

But yes in the end it’s more about the rejection itself. Once again I don’t blame him and I don’t have negatives feeling about our relationship, I mean i grow from this still. And I noticed some pattern and behaviour I had. But I also noticed some part I’m not able to explain (the sex part for exemple). But I don’t want to analyse, just dig into my feelings and accept them and move on once I’m heal.

I didn’t do coaching session since a while now, it has a cost…and all my money went into my moves and flat work right now :/ that’s why I am more dealing with the Meditation app and trying to work on this by myself. I have the tools, I “just” need to take the time to work on this.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Sorry for being silent, but this flat upgrade was such hectic with the heat here in France…I had to take 2 additional days off to finish the painting yesterday…

It was definitely good to have my family and this project during this break up period, but at the same time as the flat work didn’t went as I wanted so I felt sad at some point, and painting didn’t came perfect as I wanted so I cried lol

I felt a lot of sadness when my parents left last Monday, I was full of emotion, I didn’t judge but everything was mixed up, feeling lonely because they left, the flat work not finished, the break up…I was sad not having my ex anymore as well even if I thought it was ok before. Then I sent him out a message just to check if his holidays were good and if he was still ok to help for the floor next weekend, and his answer reminded me that they were no reason for me to be sad because of the break up because he didn’t even asked how I was, just confirmed still ok and that he would let me know if Saturday or Sunday (even if I asked for Saturday). So seeing that he was not really keen to do things how I wanted reminded me that he was a bit selfish and all. So no sadness for him anymore. Also I noticed that in the end I might not have been totally myself while dating him…Especially on the seduction and sexe part, I used to be really into sexe and seduction and it seems that while I was dating him I had no libido anymore which felt weird now that I am noticing it. I know that I might have totally blocked myself on this because I wanted another type of relationship but I guess it wasn’t a good way to act. I know sexe has been an issue in our relationship because even if we were attracted to each other it’s just like we were not having needs on this both of us. Or not “that much” which is weird in the beginning of a relationship…

Nevermind I am not gonna go back on this, but I am wondering on my side why I totally hide this part of me. Also why it seems that it disappear right now still…I’ve been contacted by 3 guys since we broke up, one guy I was seeing only for sex before…one guy I “know” since…I don’t know how many years and we never met in person lol and one guy that is definitely attracted since 2010. Which is crazy, because when I met him we were in Singapore and he was dating a girl which used to be one of my colleague. He told me yesterday that he “felt” for me since our first meeting. I had no idea lool. Even his ex noticed it but I didn’t at all…I guess I should feel good and happy about all this but I don’t really. I met him again 3 years ago, while I was just having a broke up as well lol so not feeling anything about him. Still now he asked to go out for a drink, I said ok, but I am not feeling much either on this…except it’s weird lol. Even if I want to move on the break up, and live my life, I am not ready I think to do anything with any guy for now. I told him but still he wants to meet. He is convinced we could have a lot of complicity together…

Finally I finish the painting yesterday so I felt better on this as well. Of course for my family I am still sad that they left, but also happy to get “my life back” lol. They had to go back because England has put again quarantine for people travelling from France…Such a complicated period. I just hope we won’t go to lockdown again for Christmas period 🙁

Since 2 weeks I downloaded a meditation app, so I am listening to it every night before sleeping, to work on anxiety, and self confidence, and other topics, it’s good but I almost always felt asleep before the end of each session lool
Still I feel better on how to react while I have some thought and feelings, just accepting them without judgement and it helps to move on.

Let see 😉
I’m just back at work today and it’s SO hard lol but I’m happy to work again and not doing painting anymore loool

Hope everything is fine for you 🙂

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

Feeling ok but pretty tired lol
I have my family at home and i am on holidays, i am spending time with them loke that. We are doing lots of stuff and not sleeping enough 🤣🤣 but they are of a great help with my flat work, we have put the paper on the wall in order to paint it after, still some walls to cover…but it’s pretty hot here right now so really hard to do the flat work 😅😅
We are also spending time with my grandma having lunch and diner.
So to be honest i don’t really have time to « think » much. But i am doing ok, i am not feeling any anger or sadness or anything negative. I am quite in peace right now.
Of course sometime it’s a bit hard because i am thinking of him and would like to share my progress with my flat but it doesn’t last. I guess being pretty busy and with my family help. But even without that i spent time with some friends and i was able to speak about him and the relationship and remain ok without any negatives feelings or thougts. I am in recovery period.
No specific additional realization…
Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Kanya,

Thanks for your message 🙂

I don’t do much of creativity this time in my flat, just painting everything in white lol because it’s easier to rent whithout color !

The apples and pear we have are not really sweet but more acid type (they are still good) but we prefer to prepare compote that we can keep instead of pieds or cakes, otherwise we have to put lot of sugar lol
For now I don’t have any furnitures for the garden or the terrasse, I had in my flat, but it was too old and while I was moving it get all broken so I had to throw them away. I’m supposed to buy new ones now, especially because it’s sales period right now in France, but same I am waiting for my mom to come and choose because she will keep them while I’ll be moving again I think…I don’t think I will be able to buy a house with a garden lol
But I’m planning to add an inflatable spa to enjoy the terrasse and the evening lol (maybe daytime as well but only during weekend…I’m still supposed to work lol).

And thanks for noticing I am a totally different person 🙂 feels good. Don’t know when the next adventure will start, for now I’m just focusing on myself, I don’t really want to think about anything else…Except finishing my flat !

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Yes it seems that we are ok like that. As he will be on holidays from 9th to 17th it will happen the weekend after so 22nd hopefully it will take only one day, but he was less confident and optimistic than I was (that’s why he made some fun of me lol I was thinking half a day might have been enough…lol maybe I was too optimistic lol).
Until then I’ll finish everything else, my family will give me a hand as well during their holidays but I don’t want to bother them too much…

And yes my new space is definitely great and spectacular, yesterday I had a “warm house party” kind of things with my Pole Dance friends and they were amazed, so amazed that we drunk 5 bottles of champagne and we were only 8 girls loool we spent time in the garden and it was really great 🙂 One of them asked me where I was in my love life so I told them I was single again, but strangely I said it with a smile and not crying at all (even with all the champagne I had lol). So it seems I am moving on.
Tonight I have the dinner I postponed last week to speak with him with my friends but it’s SO hot today that it’s gonna be a nightmare to cook loool

And yes I’ve decided to rent my flat instead of selling it for now, I prefer to keep it, we never know how things are gonna evolve because of the crisis and all so I prefer to keep it.

For now the garden here is a big mess, we are gonna work on it with my mom during their holidays. My moms used to grow tomatoes, salad, green beens we also have pear and appel trees and rhubarb. And my neighbour has grown some zucchini for us in our garden also :). But to be honest, I am not really good with gardening lol

And yes my dog is doing good I am happy about it 🙂 We are gonna stay for a year and then let see 🙂

Taking 2 days off was really great, I really enjoyed this time only for myself and finally take a bit of rest. Especially because I had this party yesterday, diner tonight and another friend of mine coming at my place tomorrow evening after a day of work at my flat, same for Sunday I’ll go to work at my flat during day time and in the evening I’m gonna go to pick up my family from the airport so “no more free time” lool.
But it feels good to have a life again, it seems a bit more “back to normal” after the covid crisis.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Thanks 🙂
Yes of course i still have a bit of low phase and sometime even some doubt…but then yes i reconnect with myself and think about where i came from and where i am now. I still have work to do but i am going in the right direction.

He will help me with all the floor work, i am putting parquet and i need him to lay it properly. Last time i did it myself it was ok but not great so he will help me with the cutting and all. So as i want it to be done properly this time i am accepting his help. (He just made some fun of me while we were speaking about when he will be able to help me. But he is finally going on holidays with his family which wasn’t plan last week…but it’s ok i will finish the other thing in the flat and do all the cleaning and i will just have to finish the floor with him and then i will rent it. But he made fun of me because i was thinking it might be ok in one afternoon…that’s why i need him on this lol it seems i am not realistic at all 😅😅). And i don’t really know if it will help me to heal or not, but at least it will be a better closure to this. I am not sure we will remain in contact after, i don’t really see how it could « work » while i or he will be dating again. I am not good staying in touch with my ex and i am not very a big fan of having ex in my life while dating someone.

For the CoVid it seems there are new clusters here and there, our prime minister has already prepared a plan for a new lockdown but not too much news right now.
I am still working from home as i can at least enjoy my new garden and home like that and still not feeling super comfortable in public transport. Also i am avoiding to be even more tired than i already am thanks to the move the flat work and also the past weeks full of emotion.
I took a day off yesterday and today, i wanted to go to my flat and work there, but i finally decided it was better for me to really enjoy my day off by reading a book and just laydown on my couch as i didn’t do it since 2 months i guess now lol
My pup is enjoying the garden and eating the fruits from the trees lol at first she was a bit stressed but i think she recognised the area even if the house itself is different so she is ok. She loves to lay down on the terrasse under the sun lol. So yes i am glad i made the move, this house is more centrale, i am closer to my friends and family and more public transport if i want to go out. Of course the place itself is amazing and i have a garden so that’s really great 🙂

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi

Thanks for your message and commend.

My feelings are still a bit mixed up. Because I know he is a great guy with a bunch of qualities I am seeking for in a man. The red flag I felt were mainly coming from stuff I was remembering from one of my ex sometimes and that’s why I choose to ignore them, because I didn’t wanted to compare him with this ex, there were no comparison at all on their behaviour, spirit and even mindset. But still I choose to ignore because of all the good things we were sharing. And it was definitely a great and wonderful experience with him. But I think it’s not only him who wasn’t really open since the start, as I told you I wasn’t really either, not only because of the redflag but I guess it wasn’t the right time for both of us. I guess we both wanted to give it a shot, but deeply inside none of us were really ready to let someone in. I guess all that happen this year didn’t help either, and we both grew from this. As you said, he might not have seen it, and I’m pretty sure he won’t until he finishes his house and free his mind from his “life project”. His house he is really a big part of him right now, and I know he doesn’t see it like this and doesn’t have this impression of “being stuck” in this project (and also his exam during the months we were dating). But we know men can’t focus and invest themselves on different project at the same time. One thing I know, is that love is most of the time a question of “timing”. Reaching the person at the right time is a real chance. It did happen to me in the past once. And I’m now a really good friend with this guy, of course sometime I still had this thought but we discussed about it openly and we know we were never available at the same time, or at the right time. We are still there for each other as really good friend (he was even there while I was breaking up, cheering me up, he told me he noticed how much I grew since we know each other – 15 years now).

I might have touch his heart at some point, and that’s probably why we tried together for “such a long period” because we might have want to both believe in it. We are both damaged, both hurt from our past relationship, and recovery is definitely taking time. Opening again is taking time, and being ready both consciously and unconsciously as well. Deep inside, I know he has avoiding himself to “let it go” as I did myself, we are more similar than he thinks and I can recognise it in him. I know that what he shared last Saturday was really what he believed in this specific night, and after making up his mind that he didn’t had feeling and wouldn’t get them. Because it’s the easy way, and the protective instinct. But I know that what we shared was more than what he described, even if I know everything wasn’t perfect. And once again while taking a step back and from what I shared before, it’s coming from my lack of real investment and his lack of real investment. As he said “we try” but we were not invested in building something real. Deep inside, I think it could have work, but at another period of our life, and we both needed this relationship to grow and I think see that it could be possible for both of us to have this someone special in our life even if right now we didn’t made it and were not ready to make it. I know you were rooting for us, thanks for that 🙂 but as I said, not the right time for both of us.

Even if he doesn’t want to face it, he still wants me to be part of his life (while saying he was still ok to meet and help me) so as you said, he doesn’t want to see I touched his heart in a way but it’s somewhere deep inside. He touched mine, and helped me grow, which for me is even better than his love. Maybe in the end he is a true friend…

I accepted his help for my flat, I know it might seems weird and might seem like I don’t want to let him go either, but it’s more because I really need help, and I know he is good for house work. I need to accept that I need help for once. That’s also me growing. I don’t expect anything more than his help and expertise on this. I need to finish my flat that’s the only thing that matter right now.

As you said it’s taking time and I am releasing the sadness and this hurting part of rejection, but I did accept it. I did cry a lot on Sunday, I cried really little yesterday…and I didn’t cried yet today (even while writing all this) lol
But I am allowing myself to cry, allowing myself to feel, allowing myself to be hurt, allowing myself to grow and move on. Of course I am not ready to open up to someone else right now, except myself.
I am proud of myself, not wanting to hurt me anymore or punishing myself or taking it personally. I am proud of myself being able to do all this work, connecting with myself, allowing me to take a step back, allowing me to realise. I am proud of myself being able to open up with others on this.
I am proud of myself allowing me to take the time to digest, to feel sad, but still being able to find the strength to rise again even if I was really feeling low.
Of course I still have work to do on all this, adjust as you were saying, but for once, I am allowing myself to let it go, and do it much faster than ever. (by that I don’t mean doing it fast, but really changing my habits and behaviour on how I approach things and how it does impact me. I am working for ME and on what is good for ME and not staying stuck as I was in the past if you remember how I was when I first wrote on this thread and with my previous relationship).

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Also and to conclude this, I sent him out this message today :
“Hello,
I wanted to thank you for Saturday. You were right and I thank you for staying in your position. Thinking about it, I realized that I had chosen to focus on the positive (and I will keep it in mind anyway) of our relationship, because it was easier than accepting than it would get us nowhere. I think subconsciously I knew it but I refused to see it. You didn’t hurt me in the end, and that’s the reason of my message. I cried because it hurt to open my eyes, but it wasn’t because of you. I clung to the fact that yes, it felt good to have this attention, this affection, and to share those moments with you. But it is not and was not love. Thanks again for everything we shared. You are and will remain someone I appreciate.”

[Emilie S]

Hi

I took some time to think again, to digest all this…

I finally realise that what I was feeling wasn’t love. I liked what I felt with him, feeling that someone was there for me, was giving me attention, affection, tenderness, kindness all this which was indeed positive and was making me feel good. But in the end, it was more my ego who wanted this second chance, who refused to be rejected, who refuse to be lonely again.
But in the end, with his lack of attention lately I was lonely and that’s what my instinct was telling me while I was wondering if it was really love or not.
I guess because my fear of being alone and rejected is pretty strong I didn’t really wanted to open my eyes on all this. I was too focused on keeping this bond, this feeling of not being alone, of having someone in my life I could rely on at some point. But I also understood why I didn’t invest myself that much in the relationship at first, I felt some stuff that was annoying me since the beginning, of course we had some stuff in common but also stuff that was annoying me like his lack of openness sometime, and other stuff that I guess in the end would have avoid a real strong and long term relationship.
When I said I wasn’t recognising the guy I was with during this last month, I guess it’s more that I choose to hide those part of him and in the end I saw them again during our “discussion”. I choose (unconsciously) to idealize him, and I clung to all the positive because I didn’t wanted to “lose” what I felt while we were together. In the end he was probably right to tell that he didn’t felt in love and that it might not come, I guess it would have been the same for me, but I wasn’t able to allow myself to see it. I didn’t wanted to see it. Because even if it wasn’t perfect it was still much more better than what I had in the past.
I can only thank him in the end for opening my eyes, for taking this decision and sticking to it and not agreed on giving us another chance because it would just have been a lack of time, and probably more “hurtful” because I would have stick to this vision, convincing myself he was the right one.
After our discussion I was trying to understand the logic behind, why my instinct would have full me that much about him, but in the end my instinct showed me he wasn’t the right one, I choose not to listen to it. I guess I needed all this, even the hurting part to finally open my eyes and see that.
It will of course take more time for me to digest, and allow my heart and brain to be on the same page, and understand that being lonely now, is better than lonely in this relationship. It doesn’t mean I am not seeing the positive of this relationship anymore, and that I’m not smiling anymore about all the memories, it’s just that I am allowing myself to see the global picture now. I’m now clear on the fact that what I felt was emotional dependence and not love. I guess that’s why I had so much questioning lately around what love was feeling like, if it was only my ego speaking, once again it was my instinct showing me something was weird.
I allow myself to cry, to learn, to understand, to digest, to move on…
I know that I grew and that I am still growing from this and it’s positive.
Just wanted to share all this with you.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

It’s over.
He was totally close and already had made up his mind.
For him he doesn’t have love feelings and it won’t come because he « didn’t felt the thing ».
I tried to shared what i wrote but he was quite hermetic to it, he told me it was just like if i was trying to make him blame me, but he didn’t felt i wasn´t invested and all.
When i tried to understand what was the « thing » he didn’t had with me he was ´t able to define it, just he « wasn’t feeling neither the needs or the desire » to see me (but told me he was enjoying the time we spend together…).
Then we spoke about the sex and he told me he wasn’t feeling the desire that’s why we were not having sexe when meeting so i told him that he wasn’t even attracted and he was like no that’s not what i said you are interpreting and i was telling him he wasn’t clear at all.
The only thing he kept on repeating was that he didn’t wanted to hurt me, not more that he might have already done by now. Then he told me there were no point to give us a second chance because he wasn’t feeling this « things ».
I tried to ask him about the fact that it might have to do with his home project and covid and all but he was like no no no.
And while speaking about second chance he told me again that he didn’t wanted to hurt me.
And when he was speaking about our relationship he was just showing it negatively. I told him i was under the impression it was not the same relationship he was describing…For him he was never attached, he just wanted to try but it’s not coming so no…
At the end, i ended up crying because he was so close to the discussion, it wasn’t a discussion just him announcing, just him showing another really negative self (maybe to reduce my pain by playing the mean guy). But at this point he came to hug to apologize for making me suffer. I told him that what was paining wasn’t his feelings but his behavior tonight, avout being totally close to the discussion, bloked in his thought.
When he left i told him to be happy. He told me again that we could still meet and that he could help me for my flat…Which really has no sense for me…

To be honest i didn’t recognize that guy, i didn’t recognize what he was telling about our relationship…He was minimizing himself, refusing that i say nice stuff about him…he was pubishing himself for « hurting me » that’s the impression i had…

I am sad about his behavior and probably hurt as well. Not too sure…it was such a different person that i talk to, and the fact he kept on repeating he didn’t wanted to hurt me upseted me a lot. It really gave me the impression he was just protecting himself and he didn’t wanted to have feelings and prefered to stop before getting while still wanting to meet and help…

Nevermind i am not gonna analyse it more. He was close, i grew from this. I tried, i spoke, i opened up…he wasn’t open for a real discussion whatever he said it wasn’t a discussion…

Emilie

[Emilie S]

In fact what was disappointing wasn’t even the fact that he postpone because I can definitely understand that it wasn’t possible for him to leave the portal outside and get it stolen..
What really disappointed me was the fact he sent out this message and even if I did respond directly to him he didn’t even took the time to read or take my answer into consideration. He took for granted that I was free today…
I was about not to share it with him (as usual keeping my mouth shut about how it felt for me…) but I finally decided to send him out a message telling him :
“The evening has been postponed due to an unforeseen event, it happens. I understand. I still feel disappointed that I wasn’t able to discuss tonight because I need to know your state of mind, and especially since last week.
I need more sincere communication between us, and I would have appreciated that we could have made the decision to postpone the evening together …”
He replied later on (around 9.30 pm so as he said late for dinner) that he was “sorry and that he has just finish to install it in a temporarily manner…”
I sent him out the message first to insist on the fact I needed to speak and share my feelings around this, because I knew otherwise I would have been upset today and he wouldn’t have had a clue of why because he isn’t in my mind…Also he knows I cancel a plan for him tonight so yes I really hope he won’t postpone again…

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi

Quick updates, he sent me a message telling me he was sorry but he wouldn’t be able to make it tonight as he received his portal and it’s too big to keep it in his garage so he needs to install it tonight and he might finish too late. He asked me to postpone to tomorrow…I told him at first not possible because I had a dinner plan with my friends…But I asked them if possible to postpone to next week because I really needed to have this discussion. They agreed…So I hope he won’t postpone again.

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi Heidi,

Thanks for the “cheers up” or not sure how to translate it in English, but power me up maybe ? lol

I need it, my 3 friends aware of the situation are also doing it, and telling me it’s ok I’ll manage, I’m good with talking (yes I am until it’s personal lol).

I read again what I wanted to share with him, because it’s like right now that my mind and brain are all empty of things and that I forget everything I wanted to mention. But I guess protective system is on again so I will have to shut it down lol. I might have a drink of wine before he comes in order to avoid my barrier to show up and to let them go…Not sure it’s the best idea but I’ll see how I feel tonight…Strangly I am sleeping well these days, without any disturbing dreams or (nightmare either). Maybe because my mind is more free now that I “know”. But I am a bit tired still, because of working days and working at my flat aswell, it’s intense physically lol. I have so much stiffness in my arms and hands lol.

I was planning to make something not complicated as he told me not to annoy myself lol
So as it’s pretty hot here, I’m just gonna make tomato salad with mozzarela and a quiche lorraine and for desert just mango. I’m not eating that much since last Friday to be honest (which is good because I was overeating since I decided to move lol maybe the stress of all things and because I was tired I needed fatty stuff lol). So I don’t want to have too much food tonight because I am pretty sure I won’t be able to eat much either…At least until I speak…Then maybe I’ll feel hungry again.

Right now, I’m even wondering how to act while he will arrive, should we just say hi, kiss, hug, nothing…I feel totally uncomfortable with this lol…I guess I’ll avoid this situation by opening the door and “being busy” in the kitchen while he will enter…Yes I am really brave on this one lol

Emilie

[Emilie S]

Hi again,

Just a quick update we are meeting at my place in the end.

I sent him out a message tonight hoping he had a good day and asking how he wanted to meet tomorrow. He told me he would “pass by” tomorrow night as he was receiving is main external portal tomorrow (he was supposed to receive it in September only). I answered I was happy for him and as “pass by” wasn’t really clear for me I asked if he wanted to have dinner. He told me if you want yes, we can grab a pizza or McD. I answered I could also cook. And he said as you want (once again), it was just not to annoy you. I said it was ok for me.
Then I sent him out the message I told you about and just wished him to have a good evening. I saw he read it, but didn’t answer and I don’t think he will. Which is ok for me, it was more for me. To ensure I’ll speak tomorrow than to have an answer tonight (purpose is to discuss it by voice not by message).

Emilie

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