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Plus if he thinks so lowly of me to drop me like that why bother? I just want to use this statement as a teaching moment. This statement is a low self-esteem statement. It tells me what you actually think about yourself, deep down. This is what I mean by understanding the language of the subconscious. It leaks out in languaging ALL THE TIME and when you are able to recognize it in someone, then you have a more clear picture about the kind of person you are dealing with and whether they are available for you or not. Your statement “if he thinks so lowly of me” is the story your mind places on his disappearing act. The stories we choose to put on current events, come from beliefs created about ourselves from past events. So your story “He thinks so lowly of me” is a story you created in your past about whatever was happening. Does this make sense? This story is still “alive” in you because you just used it. You have high self-esteem too. This is just showing a part of you carrying low self-esteem. Someone who was more present with higher self-esteem would say instead “He is not available for me, so I’m going to move on.” That’s the TRUTH. Your story is a lie. Him not responding to you is about HIS low self-esteem and fear and not about you at all. Someone who is aligned with the truth would feel that and know that and not take his actions personally. Does this make sense about understanding the subconscious signals that leak through in languaging? It’s a VERY helpful and powerful skill to develop when dating.
like what do I actually do to heal the patterns I’ve identified? The “doing” part is up to you. I gave you a list of books that all have techniques for healing in them. You can try those. As I previously said, the fastest way to heal those patterns is to work with a specialist one on one. If you can’t afford that, then maybe find someone who does group coaching or offers online programs. Those are your 3 choices. 1. Read books/watch youtube videos to learn healing techniques 2. Get a therapist 3. Find someone who does group coaching or offers online programs for healing past traumas or shifting negative patterns.
Does this help?
Heidi
Wasn’t that obvious that I wanted to take things further? Nope, not at all. You are just asking him for advice, not professing your feelings for him. DO NOT ever expect a guy to know how you feel or what you are thinking unless you outright tell them. I think it’s quite normal for a friend to ask another friend about a job offer. There is NOTHING in that action that says “I really like you and want to spend more time with you.”
He said he is like me, after his failed marriage he lost trust in romantic relationships. This is a RED FLAG. If either of you feel this way, it’s a sign you have not forgiven and released the past and will put all kinds of junk from your past experiences, onto the current person. When we don’t forgive or let go, fully and completely, it becomes “baggage” that we end up carrying everywhere we go. That baggage influences EVERYTHING we do and feel. So if he has not let go of this messy divorce by now, then he is SHOWING you that he is a guy that holds onto things and does not forgive. That would make him a VERY tough partner to be with.
You have a 16 month old? Wow! That must be tough to have one that young and be a single mom of 3. Hopefully, the father is involved and helpful. Do you know if this guy wants kids? With you having a young one, that would mean he would be stepping in as a father and that may be something he does not want to do. What are his thoughts about kids?
What I am looking for at this stage is nice company, someone I would go out with say once or twice a week. I am wondering if he could be that guy, but I am having more and more doubts… I know going out a few times a week sounds pleasant and nice, but understand that most guys will NOT want to date you “casually” because you have 3 kids (not sure of the other ages). Men know that dating a single mom means also potentially becoming a dad – unless the kids are much older. Dating a few times a week is meant to lead into something more serious naturally, so staying casual with a guy is near impossible. Dating is about growth and bonding, so it will either bring you closer and closer or it will push you guys apart in different directions. If you want casual, then why not go out on dates a few times per week? This guy, you are bonded with. You are walking on a thin line with this one is you start to date him. Doing casual with this guy is probably not possible. Once you cross that line, you guys will either grow close or not – you have already been doing casual for a year. Just something to think about. You have to be willing to risk losing his friendship if you want to date him. Is that okay for you?
Heidi
I’m connecting it with something that i hadn’t connected it with before. The wall is not fear. It is contempt. I know contempt and disgust are related. Is fear also related to contempt? Great question and observation! Yes, fear is connected, but more indirectly. You feel contempt and disgust because of the actions that caused you pain and hurt. You may predominately feel contempt, but that contempt is NOT a primary emotion. Something has to source that. The primary emotion is hurt. Walls are built because we are afraid to get hurt again. So fear sources the action of building the wall, but the energy WITHIN the wall and what makes the wall so strong, are all the stories, lies, programs, beliefs you have about women. That’s the material that makes up those bricks. The action of you stacking those bricks and the cement that keeps them together is fear. Does this make sense?
Well. I have no intention of embracing any unhelpful culture. Or even speaking a good word about such practices. Just because something is an ancient culutre doesn’t mean it has value. i can list many cultural things that are abusive, disrespectful, demeaning, etc. But why do i hate my own body? THIS is what is unfair to me. i do not WANT to hate my body or be disgusted by it. How about just not embracing those aspects of the culture instead of throwing out the entire culture? There are always good things about every single culture. Every culture has light and every culture has dark – some more than others, of course. It’s our ability to understand and accept all things, not just the easy stuff that allows us to carry more light within us. Your contempt towards anything is a dark energy. That dark energy dilutes the light. Can you forgive the dark? Can you forgive the culture’s limitations? Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget or support, it just means you will not hold onto the negative, heavy emotions those cultural actions activate in you.
But what a thought — is my fat my wall against women? Yes. is it full of contempt? and disgust?! Yes i really want to know! HOW does my fat protect me from women and indians and ethiopians?! I don’t know what it is for you personally, but in general, it’s not uncommon for people to be what they hate just so they don’t give others what they want. This, by no means, is a conscious thing – it’s more sourced by beliefs we have no awareness or connection with. So for example, let’s say a mother pushed her daughter into beauty queen contests and she is overbearing. The daughter learns what her mother wants from her in order to be happy, so the little girl does the complete opposite of that (by gaining weight) to rebel and not give the mom what she wants. It’s a passive-aggressive way of surviving. Here is another possibility. I know for me personally, as well as a lot of other women I have worked with, being heavier can easily shut down attention. When a woman doesn’t feel good in her body, she hides. She does what she can to stay small energetically and be unnoticeable. This is a typical “safety” coping mechanism. So in essence, the fat is protecting her from being seen. When she feels amazing in her body, the energy is projected much more. She is more comfortable being “seen” and carries more confidence, which is more attractive for people to be around and draws more attention. There are a ton of other reasons I could name, but if you get down to the very core of whatever reason you come up with, it will be about fear of being happy. People don’t realize how scared they are of being happy. We all have a limit within us, that determines how happy can be. That limit is DIRECTLY connected to how much fear, low self esteem, contempt, anger we carry – basically all the stories we carry about what happened to us. Those stories and feelings act as anchors that are attached to what I call the “upper limit.” The more anchors we have, the less happy we will allow ourselves to be. I see it ALL THE TIME! The number 1 reason why people don’t get better, is they start to get what they want, but are not set up emotionally to have it, so they sabotage it. They sabotage it, because those anchors will not allow them to go any further. Does this make sense?
The thing is Vino, when it really comes down to it, you are not interested in healing this part of yourself, because if you heal and release all the negative energy you have towards women and these cultures, you believe it will leave you vulnerable to being hurt again. So instead of trusting yourself that you can handle it, process it, heal from ANY hurt that shows up, you put walls up to protect yourself. But instead, it’s hurting you. But you don’t actually REALLY know that, because you have lived with these feelings for so long, you don’t know who you are without them. The same is true about weight or anything that anyone has made part of their identity. People that carry weight for so long, don’t know what it feels like NOT to have it, so they actually don’t know what is possible, what is available for them, what levels of happiness they could reach without the extra weight. You used to do bodywork, so here is a super simple analogy. You know how there are spots on a body that make people yelp in pain? You know how people will then say “I didn’t know that was so tight?!?!?” I work on feet and calves all the time! People always have no clue how tight they are, but I can see how they are walking and the impact it is having on the rest of the body. I do some bodywork on their calves and feet and they get up and go “OMG! I feel amazing! I feel more of my foot on the ground and I feel more stable and balanced. I had no idea I was so constricted!” That’s what our baggage does to all of us. We carry around these super heavy stories and feelings about events in our lives – when we finally release the baggage, we THEN realize how much of an impact it was having on our bodies, our hearts, our moods, our joy, our happiness and so much more. But we will NEVER know until we let go of the baggage.
And btw…I know you said that you’ve gained 5 lbs, but remember weight is NOT 100% fat. I’m guessing you gained weight because your body is going through something strange right now.
what is the root of contempt and disgust? Such powerful emotions, aren’t they? The root of these emotions is hurt that is so intense and turns into elevated levels of anger which become contempt, hatred, disgust etc. Judgement, of course, adds it’s seasoning to the recipe. People will head into these emotions, because they are incredibly POWERFUL emotions that are SOLID. Meaning, they are emotions that are so intense that it fills every aspect of a person and leaves no room for vulnerability. These are incredibly strong protectors. When someone is in hatred, contempt or disgust, there is no room to talk with them, shift them, convince them otherwise or bring in other perspectives. These emotions are the ULTIMATE protectors of letting anyone in. Contempt protects, fat protects – so they work together and source each other!
Hopefully, I was able to connect some of the dots for you. There is soooooo much more to explain, but I usually have a whiteboard where I can draw pictures to explain more of the layers and how it’s all connected. Either way, I know you will ruminate on all of this and take a journey with it. I’m so curious to see where it takes you!!!
Heidi
Thanks for a little more info.
I would say that you are definitely more in the friend zone than anywhere else. It’s not to say that can’t change, but it might take some serious patience on your part. I’m not sure how much you like this guy. He is responsive, but doesn’t initiate. It doesn’t sound like there is any real flirting happening here. Do you guys ever talk about your dating lives? Do you date? Does he date? Do you guys ever talk about your perspective of love, romance, sex? What do you guys typically talk about? Would he have any clue that you want to take things further?
You might need to very subtly shift how you guys interact, increase the flirting just a bit, start to wear “date” clothes sometimes and start to talk about some new things maybe. I don’t know what’s going on with this guy and whether he is emotionally available or not. He may be shy, but if he is THAT shy that he can’t ask a girl on a date that he goes on “dates” with all the time, are you sure he is the kind of guy you want? Do you know why his divorce happened?
Another approach is to back off a bit with reaching out. You are the one keeping this thing going, so take a break and stop making the effort and see what happens. It will help him feel his day and his life without you (which is good for him to feel) and it may inspire him to want to initiate himself….or not. Who knows. It’s a good thing to find out though. If he does absolutely nothing, then you know he is not the kind of guy that fights for even a friendship and casual coffee every other week – something you want to know about him. If he DOES fight for it, then there is at least something there he cares about enough to make the effort and that gives you a little something to work with.
Thoughts?
Heidi
Hi Stephanie,
Thank you for your patience. I am so sorry it’s taken a bit for us to respond to you. Let’s dig in!
First, I really want to slow you down. I know it feels incredible to be reconnecting with him again. It seems as though you have also forgotten what happened last time. You are doing what a lot of women do, blaming yourself for the breakup.
I don’t want to blow it again.
After listening to the program I can see many of the mistakes I made (moving to fast/pressuring him about our relationship after sex,
losing the uncertainty factor, accommodating him too much of the time)
and I want do better!!!You think you moved too fast??? You guys waited to have sex for 5 months! You said “I love you” after 9 months! This is NOT moving too fast at all. It’s actually a bit on the slow side. You didn’t “pressure” him about the relationship. After merging your families, planing a life together, not dating anyone else, it was APPROPRIATE to be having that kind of conversation.
I want to say the issue is NOT that you were “blowing it.” It sounds more like he is terrified and doesn’t feel he has the capacity to give you what you want. That is HIS problem, not yours. Even if you did everything “perfectly” in an imaginary world, his answer would still be the same. Just the simple fact that his ex was filing for full custody, is enough to scare any man away from going too deep with another woman. He is going to have an incredibly hard time trusting ANY woman when he has an ex doing what she is doing.
So as much as you want him back, what he is dealing with isn’t changing and his lack of trust in women isn’t going to change until he faces it. So….are you sure you want to go down that road again? He will end up rejecting you again, regardless of how amazing the connection was. Guys don’t give as much clout to the connection. They tend to be more practical about what they are able to offer, despite how they feel. This guy just doesn’t seem ready.
Thoughts?
Heidi
Hi Lucia,
Sorry it’s taken so long to respond. We really appreciate your patience.
I’m curious, do you really like this guy? How often do you guys meet for coffee? Was his divorce messy?
Just because he hasn’t asked you out, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to. Men coming out of divorce tend to be gun shy…especially with the ones they care about and especially if the divorce was difficult. That really may just be the reason. He may actually really like you, but being respectful of himself by letting himself heal and recover after the divorce. He may know he isn’t emotionally available and doesn’t want to hurt you. If that’s the case, serious kudos to him!!!
Do you guys ever flirt with each other? Or does it feel purely platonic?
Heidi
“What would take this conversation deeper, to what doesn’t feel superficial to me?” — and i come to one answer — the focus would have to be on me. I would have to be able to talk about the things i’m experiencing, feeling, learning. I can share areas in which i have already found answers, stability and balance. To go even deeper than that would be to the explore the areas inside of me that are still new to me. For some reason, when women give me advice about some situation, i feel like they have taken the focus off of me, and i shut down. That’s a great question! I guess I would answer a bit deeper in that the ONLY way for any conversation with a woman to feel more meaningful and deeper is for you to work with that wall you have up. Until then, every woman you come across will activate your defenses and you will never be able to truly relate to her because that wall will always be criticizing her, judging her and making you see her in a very specific way. That’s the job of any wall that we put up.
IF you do this then i will do this for you…” PURE EVIL! You NEVER treat a child this way! Yikes! be kind to yourself! This is far from evil. You were doing what you knew how in order to make things work – to survive – to get to the next moment. What is evil about that? Evil would be doing the same exact thing consciously and on purpose and with the intent to program the child to be something specific for you. It’s about the energy and intent, not the act itself, right? This is an EXTREMELY deep wound and very difficult to heal from. (I know fathers do this too, but our initial bonding is with our mothers, so the neglect and abandonment from a mother is deeper, imo). You know what though? It’s going to happen one way or another. Parents wound their children always. Deep wounds, surface wounds and everything in between. It’s just human. Those deep wounds ALWAYS create an opportunity for growth, healing, awareness, connection, learning etc. Deep wounds CAN heal, so there is nothing that can be done to a child that isn’t fixable or healable.
SO, the reason i say i do not want to be healed from this wound is because i do not want to lose the armor that i have created that keeps women out. i can’t tell the difference between the armor that’s hiding a wound and the one that’s protecting something of value. As long as i am able to bond with my children, and JB (or if it’s not JB, then whoever he may be) – I don’t want anyone else in my life. I also don’t feel the need to share as much as i used to. I feel no purpose in sharing. I feel like, the main reason for sharing is to get attention. And i don’t really want anyone’s attention. Everyone i care about already knows i exist, so i’m all good.
i don’t know if any of this makes any sense. lol 🙂 It completely makes sense! I understand on a deeper level, more than I can explain. I have been wounded more by women than men – in ways that are unspeakable. I don’t want to let my past experiences with those women, dictate my experiences with any new woman who comes into my life. It’s not fair, is it? I understand your choice, but it still makes me sad. Not because you don’t want to add more people to your life. It’s not about that at all. It’s about the level of fear you carry about women. The wall you have is harming you, not anyone else. As long as you have that wall, your joy in life will be limited. Your ability to love will be limited. Your ability to truly connect and feel safe in this world, will always be limited. You say you aren’t afraid of wounds, but you are terrified of this one. How you protect yourself is fear-based and NOT a healthy nor appropriate kind of protection. A healthy kind of protection is discerning, not blocking 100% of women, just because they are a woman.
I know we have gone round and round with this topic over the years, so I won’t go any further. I understand and respect your choice to stay wounded. I’m of course, always happy to explore this with you more, if you ever feel open to it.
The changing seasons are always interesting to me. As beautiful as fall is, people tend to get depressed, dealing with the loss of “life.” It’s really interesting. Most people are terrible at dealing with loss! I know I start to dread the winter. I love the snow, but it’s really hard with all the dogs I have to take care of…especially the little guys! Trying to get them to poop in 2 feet of snow is extremely difficult!!! LOL
Heidi
I think it’s very healthy for me to want people with whom I can mutually make plans to meet for meals or shows and to have real conversations with. That is what I need. Totally agree! We are talking about 2 different things here. By “alone” I was referring to being single and not dating. I didn’t mean that “isolation” was healthy and okay. I was just referring to the romance department.
I drove to the mini mart for human contact and talked to a mechanic about my car. That’s all I can expect for the rest of the day. It’s not enough. I understand. What about meetup groups? Do you guys have meetup there? What about connecting through online groups? I know it’s not the same as in-person interactions, but it’s still a connection. You can make some online friends and maybe have some new places to go visit. I’m wondering, it seems like the place you are living is quite small. Is there a reason you moved there? It doesn’t sound like the kind of place that really meets your needs. Is moving somewhere that you love, a possibility?
Heidi
So I’m wondering something. Tell me about why you believe you are someone he should love and embrace in his life. Why are you dateable and loveable? Why should he invite you back into his life? And I am not looking for answers about what you DO for him that is good for him. I’m looking for your qualities and who you are as a person. If you did absolutely nothing FOR him, then why should he love you?
Heidi
Ooooooh a lovely wool sweater from Norway?? That sounds wonderful!!!! I love that you got that for yourself. You definitely will use it! I’m glad the trip went smoother than expected. You are becoming quite the seasoned adventurer. I love all that you are doing and seeing! Send me some pics if you feel like it!
Heidi
As I said before, My Ex is my first love, maybe I don’t know what is love, but It does feel like I love him. Of course you love him! There are many variations of love and it’s unique to each person and couple. The thing is, love can also be a wounded kind of love. I call it trauma love. It’s where bonding occurs (one-sided or by both people) more through wounded energy and trying to resolve past feelings. A simple example, and a very common example, is a girl who keeps falling for guys who are unavailable. Why? She grew up with father who was neglectful or a narcissist and didn’t create a safe emotional space for her growing up. Being that an environment like that creates a BIG hole in the mind/heart of that girl, she tries to fill it by dating guys who are similar to her father – the unavailable type. The psyche will falsely believe that “if I can finally get this emotionally unavailable guy to love me, then I am finally loveable.” It’s the mind/heart trying to resolve and heal from the hole that was created by an emotionally unavailable father. This girl will feel love for a guy who isn’t good for her, but it’s more the type of love that comes from that empty hole inside her – it’s a wounded love. People very rarely know the difference, because love feels like love. However, there is one question that will expose the truth about the kind of love it is. “Is it loving to ME to love this guy?” A healthy love has to be earned. A healthy love is developed over time and through a lot of experiences together. A healthy love starts out discerning and is kind and respectful to BOTH people. The love you feel for this guy is built A LOT on fantasy. You have never met him. You have created an idea in your mind about who he is, from fantasy and conversations. The truth is, you have a very small, tiny idea of who he is, but your brain will turn those tiny pieces into BIG pieces and create this feeling of love in you. So the love you feel, although very real and all consuming, has a lot of limitations to it. Now that you are learning about a new side to him and what he is capable of, you still want to keep sourcing your love and you still want to keep loving him. I know that before this moment, you felt very cared about, nourished and wonderful. Now, there is new information that doesn’t negate all those wonderful thing, but it does negate the quality of the relationship now.
I have another question, Do you think when the 30 days “No contact” will end there is anything I can do to check or confirm without sounding desperate if he still think or care about me,
Can you help me on this one? I’m a little confused. You ask this question, but also say this: No more, if I want to set standards for myself I need to build my Self-confidence properly, So which is it? What do you want?I know that he doesn’t deserve this love and care of my side but I can’t help, if I want to let him go completely I need clear answers, not half-assed one he gave me :/
Will you help/guide me to write a proper question or statement message? This is not true. This is you trying to get something from HIM so you can feel better and make the pain go away. We all do it. We all want answers to our questions so we can more clearly deal with the hurt caused by the other person. AND…it’s not necessary. I can’t tell you how many times I have released and healed from hurt, heartbreak or some kind of pain caused by someone that I was not able to get answers from. That is me being empowered. That is me sourcing myself and NOT relying on anyone else to help me feel better and heal. You have everything within you that you need to heal….without answers from him. This is a golden opportunity, because this will not be the last time in your life that this happens. It will happen with friends, it will happen at work, it will happen MANY times in your life where someone will hurt you and then won’t be available to talk with – for whatever reason. So learning NOW how to heal WITHOUT the help of the offender apologizing or helping you understand their choice, is a GOOD thing.
Look at it this way…does it REALLY matter what his reasons are? I’m sure his reasons would help you understand a little better, but it DOES NOT change how he has disregarded you and shut you out so quickly. His reasons do not change his actions. Even if he were to apologize over and over and beg for your forgiveness, it won’t change that his coping mechanism under high enough level of stress is to run away. This coping mechanism will be a part of him forever, so he will just do it again and again and again. The only way to really change any of our coping mechanisms that cause harm to us or to another, is to recognize it, understand where it’s coming from and how it works and teaching yourself a new way to deal with the stressors. There is A LOT that goes into shifting coping mechanisms. Mine is exactly like his. I want to run. That feelings has NEVER gone away, no matter how much healing or clearing I do. What has changed though, is I’ve learned other ways to manage that feelings. I have a skillset I’ve developed over the years to help me stay present and walk through a situation with someone instead of running. I’ve had to apologize a million times in my life for causing so much harm by my running away – and I always meant it, but the urge and behavior never really changed until I really faced it straight on. Just something to think about. So back to your question…any reason he offers you, is just the surface reason anyways. The true reason he has run is because deep down he is terrified. Of what? Who knows. But we all run when the fear is big enough. It’s our system protecting us from something we believe is danger – but remember none of this is from a conscious place. The majority of people DO NOT understand their coping mechanisms…they just respond to whatever they feel and rationalize it in their minds. So his reasons don’t matter. You can heal and release this love WITHOUT him by loving yourself through this. It’s you parenting your little girl saying to her “I know you don’t want to let him go. I know the love felt so amazing and wonderful, but it’s time to walk away now. I will love you. I will take care of you. I will make sure your heart feels good again. It’s time to close the door and say goodbye.”
Another way to look at this and why it’s not a good idea to chase after answers from him, is there is a strong possibility that you will have to go through a bunch of rejection again. Many times, when people confront someone who is a runner, they open their hearts only to get stabbed AGAIN. It hurts like crazy and that is NOT protecting your vulnerable, sacred, fragile heart. You need to heal, NOT get re-injured by a guy who doesn’t have the ability to care enough about your heart to have a healthy, adult conversation about how he is feeling. If he couldn’t do it the first time around, you really think he can do it with you chasing after him for answers? You are trying to get a resolution about the rejection from the guy who is rejecting you.
If this is what you want to do, you get to. I have done this many times over the years – even though I KNEW I was being lazy and I wanted the guy to fix my pain instead of doing it myself. I’ll just warn you, the odds that you are setting yourself up to be rejected all over again is likely. But maybe that is what you need to feel to truly let go and know this guy isn’t right for you. AND…of course I am not a perfect predictor, so I could be wrong. If you want to reach out, you can say something like “I really would love to talk. I am really confused and would love your help answering just a few questions. I’m not trying to get back together. I’m actually just trying to get some understanding. I don’t want to fight or argue, I just want to have a good conversation and hopefully create a more peaceful ending and resolution. Would you be willing?”
Thoughts?
Heidi
Hi Emilie,
Here are more specfic things you can do to help your immune system.
1. Drink 32 oz. of lemon water each morning. Our live works A LOT throughout the night, especially from 2-4am. Being that it is a filter, it collects all kinds of toxins each night that it wants to dump out of the body. This is where the lemon water comes in. If you drink that when you wake up, it helps support the liver to flush those toxins out of the body. Squeeze 1/2 lemon per 32 oz. If you want to do more, that’s fine. You can also put a little honey in it. Make sure it’s local and raw.
2. Do not eat any fat until noon. The moment you eat fat, the liver instantly has to start working again and stops the flushing/cleansing process, so giving your liver a nice break until noon, will give it a good amount of time to rest a bit before starting to work really hard again. After my lemon water, I typically do some kind of fruit and veggie smoothie (no protein powders or anything else – just food and water or coconut water) or I will do some kind of oatmeal or quinoa hot cereal with fruit and syrup. No fat mornings can be tough for people who are used to eggs or meats to fill them up. Going fat free will make a HUGE difference in how you feel and will support your immune system super well!
3. Zinc and vitamin C are some of the best immune supporters – especially together. However, like anything, the quality and type are important. I don’t know how well you know the company that makes your vitamins. What I DO know is that anything that is a pill form vs. a capsule, stay away from. Also, supplement companies (at least here in the U.S.) don’t have to list everything that is in the pill or liquid, so many times there are toxic elements in supplements. I personally order from Vimergy (you can order direct or from Amazon – not sure if you guys use amazon there) Their standards are incredibly high, they offer capsule and liquid form, everything is listed on the bottle, it’s all alcohol and gluten-free and they use organic, high quality sources. I’m not sure if they ship to France, but if they do, it’s a company you can trust. The moment you start feeling sick, you can do zinc shock therapy where you take 2 full dropperfuls (the zinc from Vimergy is liquid) every 3 hours and do that for 2-3 days. 99% of the time, you will knock the immune system into super high gear and get rid of the sickness.
Hope this helps!
It sounds like 1 guy is at least interesting. You’ll have to let me know how it goes!
Wow….37! How does that make you feel? Excited? A little sad? Nothing really? I always end up doing a year review of my life. What have I done with the past year and what am I wanting to accomplish in the next year. Sometimes, it’s a tough year review. I’d love to hear your answers to the those questions if you feel like sharing.
Heidi
I’m writing a lot, I know.
I’m not going to apologize again tho 🙂
Thanks for answering so fast as well ^^ YAYAYAYA! Good job! I’m proud of you for NOT apologizing!!!Since you are exploring confidence, you may resonate with this book: https://www.michaelaboehm.com/the-book/
She also has non-linear movement classes she does online that can be really powerful for releasing negative thoughts and feelings, pain, heartache etc. Maybe check it out!To be honest, I’m still trying not to put my Ex before me, when I said others I didn’t include my Ex in this category, but maybe I should change this kind of mindset. Yes! It’s important to switch around your mindset. YOU are the only one responsible for your happiness. Your heart is sacred and beautiful and a treasure to be taken care of, protected and valued. You are the owner, the guardian, the hands that hold your heart. It’s YOUR job to nurture it, know what it needs, know how to keep it alive and well nourished and most of all, protected. By making HIM more important than you, that means you are stepping aside and leaving your heart exposed to rejection, abandonment and you are literally walking away from your heart so you can go take care of HIS heart. So then who is going to take of your heart? In relationships, it’s CRUCIAL that BOTH people stay with their own hearts. They NEVER leave it to go take care of the other person’s heart. You always bring your own heart with you into every single situation. You abandoning yourself for him only brings hurt to you, imbalance to the relationship and he will lose respect for you. A healthy man wants a woman who doesn’t abandon herself. A healthy man wants a woman who values herself more than anything. A healthy man needs to know that his woman can take care of herself. A healthy man wants a woman who has standards and REQUIRES his very best treatment of her. A healthy man treats her heart with respect and care – even in the worst moments. This is what you have to look forward to if you are willing to allow yourself to have this kind of experience with a man IN PERSON.
If this is the kind of experience you want, then working on your confidence is WONDERFUL! It’s safe to be confident. It’s safe to love yourself. It’s attractive to know your value. It’s attractive to have standards as to how you are treated and how you treat other people. It’s amazing to see a woman align with her beauty. It’s your time to flourish now and really connect to your own inner power, strength, beauty, wisdom and divine feminine light. All us ladies carry something very special inside and when we finally learn how to embrace it, activate it and become it, it changes everything!
I wish he could see how much I changed since the break up, at first I was very emotional and almost on the depressed side now I’m more happy and positive (at most part) still a lot of work to do with myself, I’m getting there. I know you wish for that. I know you feel like you love him and you want him to be proud of you. This is you seeking HIS approval when you need to be offering that to yourself. You are looking TO HIM to help yourself feel better and fix the pain instead of relying on yourself, loving yourself, protecting yourself and keeping yourself safe from a guy who doesn’t value you. I know getting that embrace from him would feel so much better, but it’s honestly just putting a bandaid on a pretty big wound. This wound you have needs a delicate touch, tender love and care, it needs to be cleaned out and stitched up….all by YOU!!! Not him. That’s not his job. This is how you build self-confidence. THis is how you strengthen your relationship with yourself. This is how you support yourself when those around you don’t have the ability for whatever reason. You got this Anna! You CAN release this love and heal from it. You CAN get through this heartache. You CAN develop your confidence. One day at a time.
Heidi
I’m curious to hear how your trip works out! As much as you are freaking out, you always somehow figure out how to land on your feet.
Glad things are going better with Bob. I hope they stay that way!
Oh! October 1 Thanksgiving eh? Is it called that too? Being that it’s not as big as in the states, what do people typically do? Is there a turkey? Do people decorate at all?
Yes, my decorations are always early 🙂 People have a lot of thoughts about that. LOL Your deck sounds wonderful! It sounds like a place to hang out and be very peaceful!
Heidi
