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Hi Amanda! I can see why you are confused! There seems to be a lot of mixed messages and that is frustrating!
The biggest challenge I have found with online dating is that a connection and attraction can happen without actually meeting in person. I’m glad to hear you feel connected to him, but your feelings are not based in reality. You are emotionally and sexually involved with a person you have never met…which means you are emotionally bonding to the “story” or “fantasy” you have created about him, NOT THE REAL PERSON HE IS.
There is also a reality that many people online are not who they say they are. They present different pictures or a fake profile of some sort or maybe they are actually already in a relationship and looking for “sexting.” Who knows! Anything is possible through technology. The fact that you have been interacting for 8 months and he has not been willing to meet up with you…well, that is a HUGE red flag!
You could go about this 2 different ways, depending on what you are willing to deal with:
1. Change your expectations: Keep sexting and expect nothing more from him than what he offers. Would you be willing to continue dating other people as well so you keep your options open and look for someone who is completely open to getting to know you in person?
2. Refrain from sexting with him and set a boundary. You will not continue sexting until you meet in person. You could always start by saying something to the affect, “I like you and I enjoy our conversations! It’s time to meet in person though. I am not willing to continue until this happens. When would you like to meet up?” This option is asking him to finally decide. Either move forward by meeting in person, or disconnect and stop using you. It will show his true intentions, which I imagine you really want to know anyways.
Your heart is so valuable! You are giving him your emotions, your connection, your time, your heart….that’s worth a million bucks! Maybe it’s time for you to require more from him if you are going to keep this going.
Good luck! I would love to hear about what happens!
