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“Barely know the guy” – maybe. We are from the same hometown and went to junior high/high school together, graduating from a class of 62. So we have a little more shared background than just 3 nights together.
“Jumping in quickly” – eh. I didn’t sleep with the first guy I was seeing until 1.5 years in. 2nd guy I slept with was a month in. Others I’ve casually dated without sleeping with them (I wanted a define the relationship conversation which never happened, etc). There was one guy that I slept with first date but we had been texting non-stop for 3 months and he lived 5 hours away, so… seemed like it was a more developed relationship than it was. Next guy I slept with 3 times in seeing each other 3-4 times a week for 2 weeks – he dropped that I was his girlfriend without prompting – then ghosted me for 36 hours. Then never quite recovered from that. Next guy, I spelled out boundaries after first date, went on 11 dates in 5 weeks, he pulled out a condom, I said no because I had already told him my boundaries and we weren’t there yet even if he felt that way (and he hadn’t had a commitment/define the relationship convo, either)… within the week he was exclusive with someone else.
So… no combination of waiting/not waiting seems to make a difference, really. As far as “how do we fit in each other’s lives” – if you can’t see the possibility of that, why date in the first place??
So basically you are saying that there is no way to keep anything with *this* guy?
All the lines are stupid mumbo jumbo and nothing will work? All the “trigger this, even if he’s afraid to commit or he’s pulling away”?
We’ve had 3 encounters. He’s coming off of a break up and said he couldn’t commit to anything now. I said I’m open to possibilities but wanted to get to know him more/spend time together. We’ve had 3 nights together, were intimate the last 2 times.
The 2nd time together, I offered the idea of a bet, and if I won he’d take me on a real date… he said he’d consider it.
3rd time together, I said that if I was sleeping with him I would prefer if I was the only one sleeping with him (said more playfully than that), and he agreed that that was fair.
It’s been 5 days and I’ve texted him twice (once later in the day after I left his place, referring to a book title that we were trying to come up with while watching a show), then again yesterday.
