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Where we’re at right now I believe is that I want help and am willing to do anything to get it, but he’s not. He wants to be happy, but has never and doesn’t seem like will now ask and get help. I feel like it’s really a one sided street here. It’s never the right time to talk and say anything about our relationship. He’s either too tired or not in the mood and then I’m left talking to myself. But if I wait until he’ll initiate the conversation it will never happen. I believe we must come to an agreement of what we want to do going forward. Hopefully this makes sense. I really don’t know what else to try at this point. He’s very irritated at times and I try to keep myself happy and not let it affect me too much.
Yes I believe this is all very true. I’ve been trying to figure out why it’s so hard to love myself and be confident. I still haven’t been able to answer that. I’ve come to the point where if he doesn’t really love me above everything and everyone else then why would I keep trying to make that happen. I can’t change him, but if he really loves me, you’re right, he’ll have to do some work too to get all this figured out. Til now I feel like it’s only been me always trying to get things in the right direction, but I didn’t know all the details about his life from before like I do now so it got my mind rolling.
I guess I would like to know what exactly the next step is. He’s had a terrible childhood himself so many times he says I don’t understand why he does certain things or thinks a certain way because I grew up in a good home.Thanks so much for your kind words. I really needed to hear this. I feel quite scattered so excuse the unorganized thoughts.
I guess it’s kinda a sticky situation. What I mean by “First love” is that about 6 years ago he was in love with someone else and they had to break up due to reasons like their parents not accepting the fact and so on. I’m not sure if they were 18 already or not. But anyway, the fact is that I just found out a few days ago that he still felt and maybe feels something for her after so many years because I guess they had made promises to each other, one being they would never get married to anyone else. He feels bad now because he got married to me about a year after they had to break up and so he broke that promise. She is also married to someone else.
By the way, we’ve had 5 struggling years since then. I was totally in love with him since the beginning but he tells me now that honestly he never felt quite in love with me because in his mind he was still holding on to her and that he got married to me just because he was trying to fill that void. He feels bad for hurting me in this way and yes I do feel very hurt but I’d rather know the truth and go from there than always feel like something isn’t right and not knowing what. But your program has given me a boost of courage and it’s already making a difference. He says he’ll never leave me so I have hope that everything will be alright with time and learning. I believe the more I learn how to become irresistible, his feelings for her will vanish, maybe not completely, but at least I’ll be HIS love and he’s my hero and that’s what I want. We have a beautiful little 2 year old boy and we’re so proud of him. Thinking about my son, it encourages me to get all the advice we can so that he grows up remembering that his parents have an excellent relationship and that they are happy.
I have struggled a lot with self love and lacking confidence. And I see how you say confidence is one of the greatest qualities. I totally agree and I really want that.
Again, thanks so much for your help!
