[Sarah M]

Hi Heidi,

Thank you for ur well informed and very insightful response.

I’m not entirely sure how to completely cut ties with him, if he’s messy and unsure of himself I don’t want to be taken down as well…

We are part of the same online community called twitch, I’m his moderator and help him run the stream… should I tell him this is what I choose to do before breaking ties from all 10 social media platforms?

Or just do it?

Thank you kindly,

Sarah

[Sarah M]

Oh yea… I forgot to mention. I spent $500 USD to help him with his dental surgery… but now that I think about it, that’s a lot of myself I put out…. I don’t know how to break this cycle.

Hes a dj and he’s been teaching me how to dj via online platform…. So it’s like the surgery money is for lessons… however I’ve still got some lessons left, and I’m still not 100% ready to be on my own…

Should I just forget about the lessons? To help me move on?

Thank you,

Sarah

[Sarah M]

Hi Heidi,

Thank you for this insightful response…

It was the first time we met in November of 2022. We got to know each other over the phone through conversations both video chatting and through text.

No he never had to chase me and earn my love. I have a mental health team who I currently work with, no counselling available for free here. Seeing as I’m
Unemployed I can’t afford anything at the moment.

His darkest moments have been when his live stream wasn’t working. He never gets angry. He’s got major anxiety, and anticipates things won’t go right. When he’s sad he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings. He can’t pin point why he feels anxious at certain times, he can’t pin point what bothers him as well. Things just do. He vapes, addicted to it. He doesn’t give himself the mercy he deserves when it comes to vaping. He’s open and easy to talk to when it comes to difficult situations. He’s very sincere, understanding… he told me he’s here to support me, but lately that’s changed…

He’s easy to confront, I’m not one to hold back on my feelings when it comes to anything. I also try and word things in a way that aren’t hurtful. However; when I’m pmsing, on my period, it’s a nightmare. I can’t hold back my emotions. I’m very anxious and easy to go into psychosis. That’s what pushes him back. I feel like he’s afraid to deal with me.

Other than that…

I really appreciate ur feedback and insight. You’ve been extremely helpful. I’ll back off.

Kind and sincere regards,

Sarah

[Sarah M]

Hi Heidi,

This is also extremely tough when we are intertwined in each others life…I’m his only support for his musical career both money wise and through his emotional needs…

He asked me out on November 18, 2022 at the dreamstate concert in San Bernardino California. I was in utter shock it was like a dream come true! I had been crushing on him since July of that year. He wanted to get to know me as a friend first. However I did not hold back on flirting with him even though it wasn’t reciprocated. I told him I wish I could meet a man like him. And when we finally met in November. The chemistry was off the walls. He is not only attractive, but sincere… and kind and caring. He was very anxious about the concert. Yet I was able to calm him down…

I felt like I was finally at home with him… there was no awkwardness, I loved being in his presence every waking moment… and he did with me.

Of course we stayed in the same hotel, and did stuff haha… it was all so magical. He desired me just as much as I desired him. However, there was a setback, his past relationships haunted him… he said things don’t go well after a while once they start off great. He was a gentleman, he was considerate at least at the beginning.

As we were dating I took up a lot of his attention and time…. I am not a particularly needy person, however I love conversing with him. He never said I love u back, because he was unsure of what he was doing in the first place which was very confusing for me in the end of this. He called me and texted me daily, to ask how I was doing. He genuinely Cared about me.

I bought him expensive gifts, and took out a 15,000 loan in order to go visit him in January. When I arrived in the USA it was the happiest reunion ever… he held my hand and kissed me and hugged me in his car. I was in complete ecstasy once again being in his presence.

I did get sick in the USA and he was so sincere and kind, however during that time I started to feel him pulling back… he said to me over dinner on the first day I was there he feels unmotivated to date, he’s undatable… which again confused me because he was the one who invited me to come visit him in the first place.

on January 17 of this year he stopped to drop me off at the airport, and said I have had time to think about this for a while now. He said we should just be friends and nothing about the nature of our relationship should change, except the fact that we aren’t romantically involved. He said he wants us to be best friends.

I’m probably the cause of pushing him away all this time…. I explained to him how hard it’s been, and my feelings for him haven’t changed… each month after he ended things with me I let him know I was struggling, he just said, I thought we could move forward from this now. And offered to help me get over him.. he pulled away because he didn’t want to give me the impression that he likes me. He also said I’m the only girl who he still talks to on a regular basis. Months go buy after that talk in April, May, now come to June.

I have a number of mental health issues which I’m medicated for, I’m afraid he took that into consideration… he never told me the real reason why he ended things besides physical distance… there’s more involved I know, but he never told me. He also said I need to be treated like a princess and he cannot give me that lifestyle. I need someone more attentive and that cannot be him… I’m so confused Heidi.

Maybe it’s my up and down emotions, I try so hard to conceal them,

I’m blindsided by the fact that to me, a life with him would bring me great joy and happiness. I understand him better now, thanks to this program, I’ve activated his hero instinct… building to establish that trust, and letting know I will always support him. And how much I appreciate how he supports me.

He’s 35, probably going through a midlife crisis… I’m 32 unemployed, on disability assistant.

He insists I work from home, which I’ve been trying to find jobs for…. However, he never stated the real reason why I should choose this employment pathway.

I wish I could just have a conversation about the world with him… if he would give me the time of day. He only takes time out of his busy life to teach me how to dj… because he gets monetary compensation,,,, since I lost my job however, he’s been doing anything in his power to support me and this new hobby I’ve taken on…

So I’m confused, am I mistaking his actions, Or does he sincerely care about me?

I can’t tell… he talks to me throughout the day at work, even when he’s the most busy…

What to do? sigh… I want those infatuation scripts, and the passionate phrases..

I miss him so much…

Thank you kindly,

Sarah M

P.S

With our lives so intertwined how am I supposed to let him go? I’m also a major introvert like him, I struggle to get out there and meet new people… it could be a nice distraction, however it wouldn’t be for the right reasons of finding the passionate and extraordinary relationship I’ve always dreamed of having

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