[Cindy P]

Hi,

Thank you for the reply and insight. I am grateful with what you said, about loving myself more. I have been trying to get on new projects to keep myself productive.

I just don’t know what to be done from here on out… In the midst of this, we are chatting everyday and spending time almost every night (playing games, on the phone, etc). We don’t meet up though, because we live in different cities at the moment. Can’t help but wonder if we could rebuild our love somehow, even after everything. Any thoughts? Is it unhealthy or is it a hopeful thing that we are still in touch like this?

[Cindy P]

Hi Heidi,

Thank you so much for your thoughts. I do believe that to a certain extent he does have that pattern.

Throughout the time that we were together, when we got into arguments, sometimes he would bring up my mistakes from the past. But whenever we fight, he would also easily forgive. Especially if I consoled/comforted him or apologize first. He doesn’t like to be at fault for things and I always chalked it up as him being emotional and sensitive.

But the last time we fought, his parents got involved and everything went downhill from there. They asked him to fly back to their house (currently we are living in different cities) and asked me to move from our apartment temporarily so we could think about what to do moving forward. We are Asian and I realize that its a cultural thing here, that when you get married, you don’t just marry the person – you marry their parents too. This is especially true for R.

I just… I don’t know what to do now. I understand what you’re saying is that forgiveness is not earned, rather, given, but I am still stuck hoping that if I just continue to maintain our propinquity now, maybe one day he would forgive me.

Is that foolish? I am experiencing a roller coaster of emotions… and I want nothing more than to just get him to feel love for me again. Can’t we just go back to that…?

[Author]

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